Does anyone else feel awkward about having a bridal shower?

[AlexsBride]

I think if I wasn't having an AHR, I would feel a little awkward about having a shower. But I am, and buying dinner for 150 of my closest friends and relatives so yeah, I'm kinda in the boat where, I think I have been attending friends baby/wedding/housewarming etc for years! Just because I am exchanging vows in a "different" way than everyone else in my family doesn't mean I don't deserve the rest of the festivities.

[Melidell]

You're not alone. I really don't want a shower, or gifts, or anything like that. We actually requested no gifts and haven't registered anywhere. We have too much stuff already and the people who are attending will be paying so much too go I just don't feel right about them giving any more. On the other hand, though, I don't think there is anything wrong with having a shower, and if it means a lot to your mother and MOH then maybe you should let them have their fun.

[Oryx]

I feel the same way. Plus my FI and I already live together, so we don't need a whole lot. At the same time, I'm not planning on having an AHR, so we might just have a jack & jill and that way, those who cannot come to the wedding can at least come to that if they want to.

[jenne]

OMG YES! I feel SO akward about having a shower. My fiance's brother and his wife got married last year in Antigua and she did not have a shower. So now we are getting married the Dominican Republic and my family wants to throw me a shower. I just feel like I shouldn't have one because she didn't. But in our family the aunt always throws a shower and my aunt is not coming to the wedding and neither is a lot of my family, so they think of it as a way to celebrate with me since they can't come. I just feel weird about them inviting my fiance's family to it since they didn't do one for his brother's wife.

[*HOLLY*]

I am still feeling bad about the party my girls are throwing me. I told them I just want to have fun and its not about gifts or anything. My MOH is crazy. Its like a whole day event. Its shower than dinner, and night out with a limo. I told her I want to help but she says NOPE NO WAY.

[carolina24]

i didnt want a shower a. because of the added expense to my mom and MOH and b.FI and I bought our condo over a year ago and we basically have everything. but both my mom and MOH insist on throwing one (each). so we are doing something small. my moms will be a linen party (we do need new towels and such) and my MOHs will be a sexy pj one. i would be ok without either but hey if they want to, your only the bride for a little while so get pampered!!

[IrishgirlinNY]

I felt very strange asking people to come to a shower for me. I am so torn. I have gone to a million baby and bridal showers for everyone, but they didn't ask me to get a plane for their occassion. We actually decided to invite everyone to the wedding that we would if we got married in NY. Most are relatives that, chances are, will not be attending the wedding so they would attend the shower. I know my sister is planning on throwing one and I feel bad. It is all on her. My mom passed away 6 months ago and my fiances mom is not even a possibility of being helpful. It's a very touchy subject and I hope if it does happen, I feel a lot better about it then I do now.

[swankster77]

I am also torn. If it's completely my decision I'd say no... I already live with my FI and this is my (not his) second wedding. But his family approached me on the topic before i had a lot of time to think about it and impulsively said 'no'... with the reasoning of not wanting guests to feel that they had to spend MORE money on a gift when already spending a lot to attend our big day plus most of FI's family are not coming to the wedding so I kinda feel weird inviting them, etc. I have no idea at this point what FMIL's intentions are... maybe she thinks it would be good in order to include those that can't come to our wedding? I have no idea... I hardly know her so I feel weird asking outright and I also feel like I've offended her by declining. I am so lost on this topic at this point. I'm starting to think that maybe just let people do what they want? I dunno girls.

[midnight24]

i too felt weird about having one. my bridesmaids really want to throw me one. so i insisted it doesn't cost them lots of money. one offered to have it in her home, and we'll bring food/drink for everyone. not sure how the guestlist will work out since people are from all over the place and we are having it on a saturday evening. either way, it's exciting as it's not often i spend time with a room full of women (i work with all guys).

[Positanobride10]

I did feel weird about a shower and I've posted on this thread.

 

Yesterday, I contacted my mom's friend who wanted to do this and said, "ok". She was so excited and as I re-read this thread and thought about it, I am having an AHR at a nice country club (mom is taking complete control of it, its crazy, see my post on that) but nevertheless, we're paying a lot of money for it. I've been to a million showers, weddings, bought gifts for all my friends and their kids. ...not that I expect ooddles of gifts but I would like the same attention and consideration I gave them for their weddings.

 

So, with that said, I am having a small shower. I'm just going to invite my girl friends and a few friend's wives. I am going to tell my mom's friend I would like it to be lemon/limoncello themed since that is what my destination is all about. Might as well have fun with this.