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Ugh...Anyone else working a 2nd job to pay for their wedding?


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#1 islandbride317

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    Posted 01 February 2010 - 02:16 AM

    Hi, girls.....I just need to take a second to vent a little.

    For a while now, my fiance John and I have both known we were going to need to get part-time jobs (in addition to our regular, 40-hour per week full time jobs) to pay for not only our DW coming up in May, but also our AHR, taking place in August, 3 months after we get home. My parents have already generously given us waaaaay more than I could have expected, so I wouldn't dream of asking them for more money -- so, when it comes time to "pay the piper", we need to be sure we have done what was necessary to save the money! And the thing is, we already have deposits down on a lot of things (especially for our AHR), so I can't really do anything but suck it up and get the money somehow.

    So, I now have a 2nd job...and it's wearing me down, and making me a less-than-pleasant bride to be, to say the least!

    Here's what my week is now like: after I sit at a desk all day, doing an I.T. job for a local healthcare system, I then have to change in the bathroom into my uniform to go and work another 4 or 5 hours working in the deli dept. of a local grocery store, plus I no longer have weekends off, since I am scheduled every Saturday and Sunday because that is when they are busiest -- it's a waking nightmare!!

    It's not the 60 + hours a week that I can't handle, it's the fact that the work is gross and dangerous (using the meat slicers, possibility of slipping on whatever nasty-ness may be on the floor, aching pain in my right arm from repetitively using the slicers for hours on end, etc.), and what really sort of burns me, is that my FI has yet to get HIS 2nd job, so I'm the only one that I feel is suffering for the sake of our wedding!!

    We very rarely, if ever, argue, but now I find myself becoming short-tempered and resentful that he's not helping me to pay for the thousands of dollars worth of wedding-related bills we have coming due in the next few months! I showed him a month-by-month spreadsheet of all the things we need to pay for and when, so now I think he's starting to realize how serious I am about HIM getting a 2nd job too (I'll keep you posted when he finally gets one -- I just hope it's not too late!) Am I just being a crybaby here?!

    IS ANYONE ELSE GOING THROUGH SOMETHING SIMILAR? I keep telling myself that if I can just tough it out through August, it will all be worth it, but right now, it's just awful!!!

    #2 carolina24

    carolina24
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      Posted 01 February 2010 - 02:46 AM

      oh hon I'm about to know what youre dealing with. I currently work 40 hours at a restaurant and am getting an office day job. so i will be at work mon-fri from 9-5 and thrus-sun from 5(ish)-1am. i need to work to pay for the wedding and i want to pay off debt before we get married. IT SUCKS but the way i deal with it is by making myself think about the fact that its only temporary and its such a great goal to work for!! plus at the end you get rewarded with an amazing vacation...and hubby
      hang in there babe and know you are not alone!!!

      #3 jplovesme

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        Posted 01 February 2010 - 02:53 AM

        I'm so sorry to hear that! I have a day job, and I run a side business in the evenings and weekends to help make extra money to pay for the wedding and for anything outside my bills. Like Carolina posted, I try to remind myself that there's a wonderful vacation I'm working towards.

        We all want to have the wedding of our dreams, and I think we do what we can to make it happen. You only have a few months left, and August will be here before you know it.

        Keep your eye on the prize, and I hope it all works itself out! We're here with you!

        #4 islandbride317

        islandbride317
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          Posted 01 February 2010 - 02:56 AM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by carolina24
          oh hon I'm about to know what youre dealing with. I currently work 40 hours at a restaurant and am getting an office day job. so i will be at work mon-fri from 9-5 and thrus-sun from 5(ish)-1am. i need to work to pay for the wedding and i want to pay off debt before we get married. IT SUCKS but the way i deal with it is by making myself think about the fact that its only temporary and its such a great goal to work for!! plus at the end you get rewarded with an amazing vacation...and hubby
          hang in there babe and know you are not alone!!!
          Amen, SISTER! Sooo great to know that although it won't be fun for either of us (your situation sounds like it's gonna be just as bad, if not worse!), I appreciate the reminder that it will only be a short-term situation, and we can both be proud that we did what was necessary to have our dream weddings!

          Thanks for the support (you too, jplovesme!!) -- back at 'cha, ladies! I hope YOU BOTH hang in there, as well!

          #5 vdaybride

          vdaybride
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            Posted 01 February 2010 - 03:04 AM

            Islandbride and other super women. I am sending warm hugs and neckrubs with this message. It is sooo gonna be worth all the aches and pains when you are all in your respective beautiful locations getting pampered (and wasted hopefully ) Hugs.. hang in there! Time flys by so quickly!
            Married 2-14-2010 Dreams, Los Cabos

             


            #6 sunstarsmoon

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              Posted 01 February 2010 - 11:27 AM

              Christie, I can somehow relate. I do home daycare, and have taken on added children, to help pay for extras around the house, wedding, etc. I feel like I am carrying the entire load around here, and it does make me grumpy. If things get tight, FI just says well why don't you take on more kids. I am already at my limit.

              Hang in there.
              July 8, 2011, Couples Sans Souci Ocho Rios, Jamaica

              #7 amygirl1169

              amygirl1169
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                Posted 01 February 2010 - 01:47 PM

                Props to you ladies with 2nd jobs! I seriously need to start considering this... My only saving grace is that my company recently re-instated our salaries after a 10% paycut during the past year.
                Also, my FI is a contractor, and I've been helping out a little bit with his jobs because he has been super swamped and every job = more money towards our debt, wedding and soon, new house!
                I've learned how to lay hardwood, tile and brushed up on my painting skills!

                Hang in there ladies, it'll be worth it when we have the wedding of our dreams!

                #8 **~Linda~**

                **~Linda~**
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                  Posted 01 February 2010 - 02:27 PM

                  Oh your not alone sweetheart. Im so sorry your going through this. Have you talked to your FI about him also sharing the burden of another job. When S and I decided to pay for our own wedding(and get out of debt and save for a dp for a house) we said that we would both put in the extra work hours that we needed to make it happen and stuck to that. So make sure you keep on him. All of your hard work is for your guys as a couple he definitely needs to start chipping into that so sending you big lucky vibes along your way so he finds an opening at a 2nd job soon. I completely understand your exhaustion i mean FFS who wouldn't be exhausted. Sending you big hugs along the way, it will go by quickly you will see. <3.

                  #9 Oryx

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                    Posted 01 February 2010 - 02:40 PM

                    I'd like to echo the other ladies here and send out my support! I've taken on a couple of side jobs, but nothing like what you are doing. Mad props to you for having the energy and commitment to make your dreams happen. I hope your FI steps up as well to help you out. Just know that it will be over soon and you will have the most amazing wedding day.

                    With regards to the hazards of the deli, would it be possible to switch to something else, such as cash? In any case, good luck and we are rooting for ya!

                    #10 hat0112

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                      Posted 01 February 2010 - 03:36 PM

                      I’m sorry to hear that your FI isn’t helping. I can’t imagine working all those hours and then on top of that my FI not helping out. I am an accountant and I work 6 days a week and work long hours so I can’t get a second job right now, but after April 14th I might. I hope your FI comes around. Just focus on what the end result will be and try and do something good for yourself every once in a while (manicure and pedicure) so those long hours are so horrible
                      Wedding 10/22/10 Westin Aruba

                      I love being a Mrs.!




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