The Parental Contribution Vent!
Posted 28 January 2010 - 11:16 AM
In my case... I *did* (supposedly) get the same amount that my brother did ten years ago for his wedding, even with inflation taken into consideration, LOL but my parents gave it to me last year when we bought the house before our wedding plans were announced... so maybe now they wished they didn't ? haha They gave it to us with the intention that we might have wanted to use it on the house, but we chose to save it for the wedding. Now not meaning to sound ungrateful, it wasn't a huge amount of money, so IMO if they gave like $10k then yeah, I'd totally expect them to minus their travel costs from that, or maybe we would have thrown a more tarditional, local wedding. But in my case it wasn't nearly that much. It definitely was awesome to receive and helped us soooooo much. Everyone's situation is diff.
In my case due to the fact that my parents live on the West coast and I live in the East, they'd have to travel anyway... so it was really with this intention in mind that a DW made the most sense. This way for the same price as a long weekend in the city where I wouldn't have seen them much, they get a whole week on a resort with plenty of time for visiting.
Anyway.... don't let money get in the way. And definitely don't say anything to your mom. I just think we have to be thankful for any hand outs we might get and keep quiet. We are adults afterall, and this is the 21st century...
Posted 28 January 2010 - 12:43 PM
Posted 28 January 2010 - 12:56 PM
Posted 28 January 2010 - 12:58 PM
Perhaps instead of spending money on certain things you could compensate by making them yourself? I'm thinking of things like the invites, the Save The Dates, the bouquets for the bridesmaids, boutonierres for the guys... however you can save money would help you out!
At the same time, I have to tell you that you should also be grateful for the fact your parents are shelling out the dough to go to the wedding. There are a many brides on this forum whose parents flat out refused because they didn't like the location of the wedding, didn't agree with a symbolic wedding, scared to fly, scared of catching a communicable disease... the list goes on. So remember you can still have a fantastic wedding on a tight budget; what matters is who is there for your special day, not how much you spent to get there.
Posted 28 January 2010 - 02:24 PM
Posted 28 January 2010 - 02:27 PM
| Originally Posted by marak |
Be gracious. A gift is a gift is a gift. You say thank you to whatever they see fit to give you. If you don't like the terms, don't take the gift. End of story.
Posted 28 January 2010 - 03:33 PM
Posted 28 January 2010 - 05:03 PM
I do get that there are deeper issues here with your step siblings and yourself- it sounds like you feel like they've been favoured. Maybe they have been and that does really suck. So I see where you're coming from. Now, though, you get to go ahead with your own life and start your own family (if you want) where this sort of thing doesn't happen. Don't let this stuff overshadow your wedding because it is what it is and there's probably nothing you can do about it, really.
Posted 28 January 2010 - 05:16 PM
My step dad is not just taking away their portion of the travel expenses though! He is completely taking it all away! The amount that they stated they were going to give everyone is more than what the trip is costing them! I don't mean to sound like a baby, but that's just not fair. Anyway, end of my rant and I will just appreciate what, if anything, the parents do end up contributing to our day.
Posted 28 January 2010 - 05:19 PM
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