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Only married 7 weeks and heading for divorce :(

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#21 JaimeandBrandon

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    Posted 25 January 2010 - 02:15 AM

    That freakin sucks... I can't believe he talked to her the day after your wedding!! I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I honestly think the only way this is going to work is if he does what you ask (passwords, etc..) Otherwise, you'll never be able to trust him.

    Originally Posted by bnbrmy
    Most importantly don't let him make you feel bad for not trusting him.
    <---EXACTLY!, I've been in similar situations and they always try to make you feel bad and then you start to doubt yourself.
    If he is already refusing to do any of the things you asked him to do then he most likely has something to hide and I'm sure he is trying to make you feel bad for not trusting him... don't let him make you feel guilty! You know in your heart that you are right so please, please, PLEASE stand up for yourself.

    I really hope he comes around to his senses and gives you everything you need so that you can move on from this and finally have your happily ever after.

    #22 vdaybride

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      Posted 25 January 2010 - 02:48 AM

      Oh my! my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry that you come home from what seemed like the best wedding ever to face these problems. I wish you all the best in whatever you decide to do. He obviously loves you or he wouldn't have married you. If you feel that the marriage is worth saving then have him jump through whatever hoops you feel he should jump through before you forgive him. Notice I said forgive not forget. Try counseling and have him give you passwords as you requested. Whatever you decide to do, I think you should take some time apart so that he can see that you are not a "pushover" and will take his garbage. If you forgive him too soon, he will think that he can get away with anything. According to a serial cheater from my past he said he continued to cheat because after the first time I forgave him right away..what nerve! It was harsh to hear, but I learned from my mistake!! You have loads of support here! I hope you all the best in whatever decision you make.
      Married 2-14-2010 Dreams, Los Cabos


      #23 *HOLLY*

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        Posted 25 January 2010 - 02:59 AM

        I will say in the beginning of my relationship with my fiance we had some trust issues come up with him being a flirt. I demanded the passwords and all that which he did put up a fight about but ended up giving them to me. Always Always trust your gut when I felt something was wrong I would check in on it and BAM I was right. Thankfully we have grown from all of it. Keep strong hun! My first marriage ended in a divorce because my ex was unfaithful dont let ANYONE EVER walk on you like that. With all that being said dont give up just yet on everything give it time but make sure the ball is always in your court because the crap he is doing is not right at all! Keep us updated! I hope you have some close friends and family near by to support you with a hug!!!! If I could i would jump through this computer and cry with you!

        #24 Sloan

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          Posted 25 January 2010 - 03:04 AM

          Ugh! Your story makes me feel sick to my stomach. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this! It's never easy, but you're a NEWLYWED. How horrible!! Why do guys pull this kind of shit?? It's completely inappropriate and totally unacceptable. You're married! I can't believe that he would have thought that kind of conduct would be okay. Stick to your guns and go with your gut. I agree with previous posts -- he's in the wrong -- don't let him make you feel guilty for his infidelity. He should be so lucky to be married to you and should be on his hands and knees begging forgivness. I have zero tolerance for that kind of bs. I wish you the best. Stay strong!

          #25 shellk

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            Posted 25 January 2010 - 04:21 AM

            omg i really do feel for you.i totally understand why you are feeling like this and he should do everything in his power to put this right.just tell him what ever has happened will be forgotten if he can assure you that he has ended it if thats what you want.i think you need to give it a chance as he obviously doesnt want to be with her he married you.if he is saying you can trust him and thats why he wont give you his no and the other stuff you want just tell him obviously you cant with emails like that?i hope it works out.you know where we are if you need us xx

            men and attention??

            #26 sjmacphe

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            • 291 posts

              Posted 25 January 2010 - 04:33 AM

              That is very sad, try to stay strong and know it is not your fault - it is probably some underlying self doubt your man has. You will get through this...hope that things work out the way you want them to. Wishing you all the best!

              #27 SusieQ

              • Sr. Member
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                Posted 25 January 2010 - 05:55 AM

                Hun... I couldn't offer anymore than all these other lovely ladies have given you in advice. Sending you big hugs...

                #28 *Linds*

                • Sr. Member
                • 5,776 posts

                  Posted 25 January 2010 - 08:58 AM

                  My heart is breaking for you! I really hope that whatever comes from this situation, you come out on the other side a stronger person. I know you will. I cannot imagine what you are going through or how you are feeling, but what I do know is you do not deserve this. If he is not willing to do WHATEVER it takes to make things better for you then does not deserve you. You are a beautiful, intelligent woman who deserves someone that brings just as much heart and love to the table as you do. I personally applaud you for standing up and calling him out. Even if it was just "flirty emails" it was bound to lead to something and at the end of the day, if he is willing to do that THE DAY AFTER YOUR WEDDING, what else is he willing to do.

                  Wishing you the best!

                  Stay strong. We are all pulling for you!
                  Loving married life! <3

                  #29 McToasty

                  • Jr. Member
                  • 170 posts

                    Posted 25 January 2010 - 09:47 AM

                    ugh, that is beyond horrible babe. I agree with the other brides. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. It could be that it's just to stroke his ego that he flirts with this admin girl, who knows right? But it's not up to us to guess, and frankly, it doesn't matter. It's wrong regardless of what his reasoning is. And while it sounds like he's "sorry", it sounds like he's still putting HIMSELF first and not the MARRIAGE. Which... makes it very difficult to move forward. You were willing to work with him after the first flirty texts, then you were willing to work with it after by asking for his passwords and wanting to get everything out in the open, but he declined. Seriously?! What position is he in to decline UGH. gross. makes me want to puke.

                    I hope you feel better babe... we're all here for you. *huuuuuuggggssss*

                    #30 ACDCDCAC

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                    Posted 25 January 2010 - 09:53 AM

                    omg wow, that is so not cool poor girl. im sorry i have no good advice but please keep us updated! be strong and dont let him play games with you. if he wants to prove to you there is nothing going on then he needs to provide you with the tools to check on that. i really hope things work out!

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