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Scrap invitations?! e-Invites only?!


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#1 affiwin

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    Posted 05 January 2010 - 02:50 AM

    Ladies - The FI and I went invitation shopping and plan to order about 150 invitations. We are having a pretty sizable destination wedding and these are for people that are coming or highly likely to come. We bought some in-the-box invites from office depot for those we know are not coming. However, since we got an estimate the FI doesn't think we should send them because a. very few people have sent their mailing address to us after our request. b. he doesn't believe people care about paper invitates anymore. We sent out an e-STD and a really detailed newsletter with a message from us, TA info, hotel info, location info. He thinks we should just continue with that and doesn't see the point and isn't so concerned with other people's perceptions about not sending paper invites.

    My question is: Has anyone else totally scrapped the paper invites?

    #2 echo2_62

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      Posted 05 January 2010 - 11:24 AM

      My FI had also suggested sending out e-vites and not doing paper invites and I was the one originally opposed to this idea. It wasn't so much because of our friends, but I knew that my family would want to have a solid object in their hands (and also to put away as a keepsake). It turns out that it was a really good thing I started my invites early because although we did the same as you, sending out an email STD, it was NOT well received by FI's family. There was a lot of miscommunication involved but the general feeling from his family was that we were being inconsiderate for a number of reasons but especially because his grandparents don't use computers and felt not included. (meanwhile right in the e-std it said Formal Invites to Follow... again, miscommunication). The whole situation sucked and was insanely stressful to be honest.

      So I guess all i'm trying to say is that you have to consider who is on your guest list and whether an e-vite would be enough for everyone. Since parents and grandparents (and most family for that matter) are the ones most likely to keep and value a more formal paper invite, you could always do a small set of paper invites for them, but include them in your email invites as well just to be consistent?

      I would just hate for you to be stuck in the same situation that I was because all the issues have led to a falling out between FI and his family, even though we're all speaking again. And if FI is still opposed because he doesn't care what people's reactions will be, then just tell him that you're making the invites for certain people as a keepsake more than a formal invite. That way you'll be able to cut down on your costs for the invites, but still get them to the people that matter or will really want them.

      #3 echo2_62

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        Posted 05 January 2010 - 11:35 AM

        My FI had also suggested sending out e-vites and not doing paper invites and I was the one originally opposed to this idea. It wasn't so much because of our friends, but I knew that my family would want to have a solid object in their hands (and also to put away as a keepsake). It turns out that it was a really good thing I started my invites early because although we did the same as you, sending out an email STD, it was NOT well received by FI's family. There was a lot of miscommunication involved but the general feeling from his family was that we were being inconsiderate for a number of reasons but especially because his grandparents don't use computers and felt not included. (meanwhile right in the e-std it said Formal Invites to Follow... again, miscommunication). The whole situation sucked and was insanely stressful to be honest.

        So I guess all i'm trying to say is that you have to consider who is on your guest list and whether an e-vite would be enough for everyone. Since parents and grandparents (and most family for that matter) are the ones most likely to keep and value a more formal paper invite, you could always do a small set of paper invites for them, but include them in your email invites as well just to be consistent?

        I would just hate for you to be stuck in the same situation that I was because all the issues have led to a falling out between FI and his family, even though we're all speaking again. And if FI is still opposed because he doesn't care what people's reactions will be, then just tell him that you're making the invites for certain people as a keepsake more than a formal invite. That way you'll be able to cut down on your costs for the invites, but still get them to the people that matter or will really want them.

        #4 shellk

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          Posted 05 January 2010 - 12:36 PM

          this is a difficult one.i think the younger generation or people that use a computer on a regular basis wouldnt have a problem with this and you should get your rsvp,s ok.however what about older family members who would not respond to you?i think your right that it would keep with the theme of your std e-mail though.i dont think people will think any less of you for using email.it may work out cheaper to do this then get a few invites for the older ones that you cant email?

          #5 amygirl1169

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            Posted 05 January 2010 - 01:29 PM

            I started out with an e-vite and had only planned to use that. But then once I thought about it, I really wanted to have a keepsake of our wedding, so I made really inexpensive invites on VistaPrint, which directed guests to our wedding website for more details.
            And as mentioned above, it was better for the older folks who don't use the computer.

            #6 Ana

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            Posted 05 January 2010 - 01:33 PM

            we considered doing this as well but in the end opted for paper invites because we had some people on our list (like grandparents, and family in Europe) who wouldn't have access to email.

            #7 *HOLLY*

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              Posted 05 January 2010 - 01:40 PM

              I thought about it also but am doing my own invites. DIY :)
              To cut back on some costs most RSVP will state to go on our website and RSVP and for the "older" generation it will have an return stamped envelope. Good luck!

              #8 bridej9

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                Posted 05 January 2010 - 01:42 PM

                For my wedding I just did emails because I wanted to get the hotel information out quickly, with that said everyone I sent to uses email and I don't have grand parents. I do plan on sending out formal invitations for my AHR which will include the wedding announcement also.

                If you're. Looking for cost savings do a postcard with a follow up email. If I would've had people without email I would've sent something in the mail. I also don't have traditional family/friends that would get upset without a actual paper invite, that's why I knew I could do a DW to begin with

                #9 bridej9

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                  Posted 05 January 2010 - 01:42 PM

                  For my wedding I just did emails because I wanted to get the hotel information out quickly, with that said everyone I sent to uses email and I don't have grand parents. I do plan on sending out formal invitations for my AHR which will include the wedding announcement also.

                  If you're. Looking for cost savings do a postcard with a follow up email. If I would've had people without email I would've sent something in the mail. I also don't have traditional family/friends that would get upset without a actual paper invite, that's why I knew I could do a DW to begin with

                  #10 NaM

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                    Posted 06 January 2010 - 07:49 PM

                    Another bride on here, Nadine did that and it worked well for her. Depends if you're comfortable with it..if you are, go for it!




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