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Frustrated with FSIL


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#1 Krista_H

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    Posted 30 December 2009 - 11:46 AM

    So let me start out by staying that FSIL grew up as the Princess and never wanted for anything.

    FSIL and my sister are not "officially" in the wedding but are our witnesses. We wanted to include as many people as we could so we decided to do it that way. So we had a little issue awhile back where she was feeling left out (probably because her husband is standing on the groom's side). So that all got straightened out.

    NOW it has started again. She found out that FMIL asked me to go dress shopping with her. She said she's being left out of all the girls' nights, etc. (which there haven't been any). I had a family shower and there is a friend one coming up (invites haven't gone out yet) and she's upset that she's not involved in it. Now FMIL says that she should be involved in the planning, but I am confused. She's not in the wedding party, she's not going to know anyone, but yet she should be involved? Can someone advise what I'm not getting? I'm going to call FSIL this afternoon and ask her if she wants to come to the shower - or should I just get my girls to invite her? So the big thing is that she hasn't said any of this to any one...we got an email from her husband yesterday about it - so why can't she just speak up. She's never been shy about voicing her opinion before.

    I'm so tired of trying to make everyone happy. I told FI yesterday we should just elope!!

    #2 Preciousmi811

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      Posted 30 December 2009 - 07:42 PM

      It's your wedding and she will have to deal with it. Stop trying to accommodate her or you'll drive yourself crazy. Invite her to the family shower but don't feel obliged to invite her to your special one with your friends. Just include her in functions like looking at your dress after the 2nd fitting etc. Spoiled FSIL are the worst she probably feels like your taking her bro away that's why she's not voicing her opinions to you. DON'T elope and don't let selfish people control your life because that is exactly what she is doing. Just put her and all her whining to the back of your brain. Be nice but don't let her get to you because this is how she has gotten her way her whole life!
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      #3 Fruitcrush

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        Posted 30 December 2009 - 08:07 PM

        I totally know what you are feeling right now. And Precious is right, do not elope. This is your and FI's day and you shouldn't have to feel like you need to accommodate everyone else. Do what makese you feel comfortable and if it's such a problem for everyone else, then wait for them to make the first move. The last thing you should be worrying about is how other people feel. I know it's easier said than done.. but hang in there!

        #4 Raykel

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          Posted 30 December 2009 - 11:16 PM

          I completely agree.....its tough though. She should probably grow up a bit and ask you if she can do something to help rather than having her husband send an email. She clearly knows you well enough - and if she doesn't its a good way to start. Don't let her spoil this time for you Krista.

          Good luck!

          #5 Krista_H

          Krista_H
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            Posted 31 December 2009 - 04:04 PM

            Thanks guys. I KNOW I have to do what I (we) want and not do things to not upset her. I think she's upset that she's not the center of attention and in fact will get no attention at all. Her son will be our ring bearer, but she is not walking him down MY isle. Oh that sounds so petty!! We talked yesterday for a bit and everything seemed okay. We'll just play it by ear...I can't help it if she over reacts to things she THINKS are happening, but aren't.

            Again, thank you for the encouragement!!

            #6 SusieQ

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              Posted 31 December 2009 - 06:01 PM

              sounds like she is a real drama queen.... I say ignore her!!!

              #7 shellk

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                Posted 01 January 2010 - 06:40 AM

                you will never please everyone.she has obviously said something to her mom and she has jumped for her.i would stick to what you are doing otherwise she will expect more from you as you go along.if your girls are inviting everyone then i would get them to invite her.

                good luck

                #8 shellk

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                  Posted 01 January 2010 - 06:40 AM

                  you will never please everyone.she has obviously said something to her mom and she has jumped for her.i would stick to what you are doing otherwise she will expect more from you as you go along.if your girls are inviting everyone then i would get them to invite her.

                  good luck

                  #9 Rainfall

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                    Posted 01 January 2010 - 05:51 PM

                    I agree, you will not be able to please everyone. Do what you want. Good luck!




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