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Are you inviting Boss/co-workers to DW?


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#1 simba1234

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    Posted 21 December 2009 - 05:01 PM

    So I know etiquette says you should invite your boss/select co-workers to your traditional wedding but I'm a little unsure of the proper etiquette for a DW. I know for a fact that my boss wouldn't go because we can't both be out of the office at the same time...someone needs to cover. Aside from that she has two little kids, hates flying, etc..

    I KNOW she's not going but the thing is her and I have been friends for a long time so the relationship goes beyond the typical boss relationship. I'm wondering if I should give her an invitation out of courtesy and etiquette even though I know she can't go... or would that make her feel uncomfortable because she'll have to decline the invitation

    I'm also in the same predicament with some coworkers. They've been helping me pick stuff out for my wedding and always lend an ear when I need opinions, suggestions, etc... They also can't go because we can't all be out of the office at once. I feel weird not giving them an invite after all the help they've been but also feel like what's the point of wasting precious invitations on people who I know are not going for a fact (i'm being kind of cheap with my invitations as you can see:)

    What has everyone else done?

    #2 lmuze

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      Posted 21 December 2009 - 05:06 PM

      I didn't want to pick and choose from my co-workers so I am not inviting any. I don't think anyone will come anyway. I explained that i am having a small wedding with family and close friends and I think most of them are relieved that I am not putting pressure on them.

      #3 bahiabride2010

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        Posted 21 December 2009 - 05:07 PM

        We decided to not invite anyone from our workplaces. I'm a teacher, at a small school, but with so many family and close friends already being invited inviting our co-workers would have made our guest list way to big. I'm sure they'll have a little shower for me there but you have to decide if inviting that many more people is in your budget...because they may come! My thinking was if I start inviting some people then it might lead to a little jealousy about who got invites. Just my two cents :)

        #4 renee1811

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          Posted 21 December 2009 - 05:08 PM

          I invited my boss and the one coworker who I actually hang out with outside of work. If you are planning to have an AHR, just let your coworkers know they will be invited to that. I'm not having one, but once I let coworkers know it was going to be a small wedding in Mexico, I don't think any of them are expecting an invite. If you have a friendship with your boss, I definitely think she will appreciate the gesture, even if she can't make it.

          #5 NaM

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            Posted 21 December 2009 - 05:12 PM

            Well if you guys have a close relatioship then I would invite her. Esp if you know she can't come...it'll make her feel good I think.
            I started my job after I got engaged so it was pretty easy for me not to invite anyone. But I think do what you're comfortable with. If you feel weird picking and choosing then I say don't invite anyone and just let it be known you are having a small wedding. Then again, if you know they can't go (and you wouldn't mind them showing up if for some reason they DID come) then go ahead and invite them!

            #6 shellk

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              Posted 21 December 2009 - 05:21 PM

              im not inviting them to dw just to the ahr.but i understand your position because of the people i work with and the relationships i have with them.i would invite who ever you really want to go then its upto them to decline.just remember its important that you only invite who you really want there.

              #7 autjo

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                Posted 21 December 2009 - 05:23 PM

                My advice is do what feels right to you and FI. I feel like the wedding etiquette is a little outdated especially for a DW so if they are your friends and will be your friends even if you don't work at the same company, then invite them. If not, don't waste your money.

                #8 Tifuhhknee

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                  Posted 21 December 2009 - 05:37 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by simba1234
                  So I know etiquette says you should invite your boss/select co-workers to your traditional wedding but I'm a little unsure of the proper etiquette for a DW. I know for a fact that my boss wouldn't go because we can't both be out of the office at the same time...someone needs to cover. Aside from that she has two little kids, hates flying, etc..

                  What has everyone else done?
                  I know that my co-workers wouldn't make it. I am uncomfortable inviting my boss (husband & wife, older couple) because I think they would come! Sounds terrible, haha. However, it would be awkward because they are so different from my family/friends. Not that I don't think they would enjoy it, but I would feel somewhat obligated to entertain them?? When I told my boss I was having a DW, she said we should close the office that whole week so everyone can go. Not everyone could afford it/would go... just them. But I think it would still be nice for you to invite her even if she can't make it.
                  Destination Wedding: April 21, 2011
                  At Home Reception: May 7, 2011
                  25 guests + bride + groom booked

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                  #9 chevy14

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                    Posted 21 December 2009 - 05:38 PM

                    I invited about 6 people I work with, my fiance didn't invite any. These are girls I am closer with - and who I knew wanted to come!

                    I don't think you should feel obligated to invite anyone you work with - they will understand.

                    #10 Ginalyn

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                      Posted 21 December 2009 - 06:55 PM

                      I think since you are good friends outside of work then you should invite your boss. It'll let her know that she means alot to you, even if she can't come.

                      I invited 3 close coworkers/bosses and their sig others to my DW. They had been with me since my first day of work and have helped me throughout my career so far. They couldn't come for various reasons, but they were some of the first people to RSVP yes to my AHR.




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