Who is supposed to be invited to a bridal shower?

[bahiabride2010]

My feeling is to invite those people that are close to you which in my case will be all the ladies that were invited to our wedding. My co-workers will probably have a little something but I think inviting those who can't come to the wedding is especially important considering we're not having a AHR. I know people will want to celebrate with us!

[Raykel]

I agree. I think the girls are inviting those who are closest to me and my FI and a few extended family who we see quite frequently.

[Rainfall]

I only invited close family and friends to share this with me. everyone else will be at the wedding ( or those coming anyways)

[angie8119]

I invited the women who are invited to the wedding that are close to me, there were women I would have invited to the shower but since I did not invite them to the wedding i didn't feel it was approciate. They say if your invited to the shower and not the wedding...it may appear you just want a gift.

[mmshaughness]

Generally speaking, you should invite people to the shower who are also invited to the wedding. After that, it is up to you! My aunts are throwing me a co-ed shower to which I am inviting close friends who are invited to the DW and family (and a few close family friends). My BMs are throwing me a shower that I will only invite close girl friends and my mother and FMIL. At this shower I will include some of the girls that will not be at the DW but will be at the AHR. I didn't want to invite too many people to both so they did not feel obligated to give 2 gifts That's just me tho!

[Naye84]

So just to clarify, Only invite those that are invited to the wedding. We are having a rather small wedding around (25 or so from the US), and do not plan on having a AHR. I would like to invite some friends that aren't invited to the wedding. Im still up in the air about who to invite. It sounds like the predominant feel is only invite those invited to wedding.

[jplovesme]

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Nadine* I agree with jesse and erika. If someone is not invited to your wedding than i dont think they should be on the invite list for the shower.. My shower was also small wtih just family and close friends-not every female invited to the wedding.

I agree. But then if your wedding is a small gathering, then go ahead. I threw a shower, and it was just family and close friends (total of 25 people). But every person there was going to the wedding.

[bholthof]

I personally think that even though etiquette states "only invite those invited to the wedding" this particular etiquette is intended for traditional type weddings - not destination or distance weddings.

 

I think that people will understand that they aren't invited to the wedding if its a destination wedding, particularly if you only invited family and super close friends to the wedding. In that case, I think people will be glad to be included in the shower, especially if they want to celebrate with you.

 

Also - in my case I am inviting people who weren't invited to the wedding/aren't able to go. However, i don't expect them to come to a shower because they live far away. In the same token, I am inviting people who were invited but aren't going to the wedding - but they won't come to a shower, either.

 

I mean - don't invite every single female person you know - thats a bit of a gift grab. But if you have friends who want to celebrate with you but you didn't invite to the wedding for one reason or another - why not include them?

[Melidell]

Quote:

Originally Posted by angie8119 I invited the women who are invited to the wedding that are close to me, there were women I would have invited to the shower but since I did not invite them to the wedding i didn't feel it was approciate. They say if your invited to the shower and not the wedding...it may appear you just want a gift.

I totally agree with this. It really can seem greedy to invite people to a shower who weren't invited to a wedding- kind of like saying "you didn't rate an invite to the main event, but feel free to give a gift anyway." I'll make an exception for a workplace shower- sometimes co-workers will decide to do something like this, or give you a gift regardless of whether you've invited them or not- but on the whole it's not necessary to have a big shower for a small wedding. Can't have the (wedding) cake and eat it, too. Just my opinion, though.