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LadyP

How Important Is Your Bling To Your Marriage

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Check out metal bands or gemstones. I'd rather see the money go towards a house, retirement or a college fund personally. I made sure my FI knew I didn't want an expensive ring. I love my ring. Its a moissanite. They are durable & super sparkly. If you want more info on them, I can tell you all about them. I never want to pass it off as a diamond. I love lab created stones, theres no concern about where they came from.

 

I think everyone on here feels the same way. Its not about the ring or the wedding, its about the marriage.

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I'd let him know that another option is to do a small civil ceremony in Philly between just the 2 of you and down the road, do the wedding celebration you've always wanted. Like you said, getting married is more important to you than the ring, and you can get some financial benefits by being married (like the insurance you mentioned).

 

But I'd also leave it up to him. You can pose all the ideas in the world, but until he's ready and comes to terms with everything on his own, he's not going to act. Patience is hard, but keep in mind that even though you want to get married, you already have a married life with him and that isn't going to change.

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I completely understand how you feel. We also have a child together who will be three in Sept. I had been waiting a long time as well. I knew that money was an issue as we have mortgage and car payments. I found a ring that has diamonds and blue turquoise stones in it(the turquoise is our daughters birthstone) it is beautiful and I loved it because it has meaning behind it. I told him about it and how much it cost, I had the ring on my hand within a month!! Maybe find a different ring, talk often about how beautiful it is and how you just want it. It worked for me...I'll worry about getting a big rock someday when we can justify spending that type of money on it.

Good luck!

Tracy

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My ring was only like $400 bucks but I love it more than anything in the world. FI picked it out on his own and got me exactly what I always wanted. But I would have married him ring or not. Its not the money spent that is important, its the meaning behind it.

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I voted to stop thinking. Being in the same position as you, every time I talk about wanting to get married I think it pushes him further from the decision. I think he feels as though I'm pressuring him and he might not be making the decision, but simply going with what I want. I think it's very important for the man to be fully prepared when they enter into marriage because as the other ladies have said, if there are problems now, there will be problems when you are married. And that's not just relationship wise, but money too. Yes, there are some breaks when you are legally married, but expenses will come up that you guys will have to deal with as a couple. And if either person has bad credit, the other inherits it... which could cause more problems.

I think it's just really important that he knows that you love him with everything you have and that you do, someday (preferably sooner) want to be married to him. But, that you understand it is the biggest decision in his life and he shouldn't be pressured into it.

The ring will come. Whether it be cracker jack or "Holy Crap!"

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He is a man! Men most always want to take care of their woman and make them feel special. I think buy just by buying a band, he feels like he is not doing an adequate job of doing this.

 

In all honesty, because this is my second marriage, I just thought I want a white gold or plat. band....but Jay would not hear of it. We couldn't afford a huge diamond like some people can, but I LOVE my ring and stare at it all the time....it didn't break us or out us in the hole, but it was still expensive. I know Jay feels good about buying it and thats he is proud of it.

 

Men are crazy...they dont think like I do.

 

I know you love your DBF and want to be engaged...does he know you would be ok with a $99 band from Wal-Mart? If not, tell him so!!! Maybe he thinks you want the bling!

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FOR THE RECORD I ID NOT SHOW HIM THAT RING he looked at it himself and I found it when I turned on the computer. i showed him one of the rings that you ladies had posted and then he talked about the tiffany novo.

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You know what maybe he doesnt because I alway say jokingly for all that I have put up with and have done I deserve a 4Karat ring. and he just smiles and makes a crazy remark

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Given, the Novo is pretty cool. Maybe he wants to get your feelings on the ring, and then he'll have a designer make one similar to it for less money. That would be awesome!

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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyP View Post
You know what maybe he doesnt because I alway say jokingly for all that I have put up with and have done I deserve a 4Karat ring. and he just smiles and makes a crazy remark
I said the same things too rolleyes.gif then i when i was annoying FI would say i was getting negative .5 carats.

have you two gone ring shopping together? that might help you both figure out what you're looking at price wise and style, etc.

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