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Bestman backed out


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#1 bosi

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    Posted 14 December 2009 - 03:49 PM

    I dont know if anyone has put up a similar thread but I just needed to vent a little.

    My FI's bestman backed out at the last minute. HE had agreed to come all this time, and then suddenly said it's too expensive . He sent the message in a text, can you imagine....!
    He can definitely afford it, I think it's just because he had tried to get together with my MOH ( we all met at the same time about 6 yrs ago)and she rebuffed him in a bad way so I think he feels humiliated. But not to go to your friends wedding because of that..., he's married with a kid now, and she hardly even remembers him!


    So we have a MOH, 2 bridesmaids, and two grooms men ( one will be the best man).I cant ask anyone to back out now.

    How does it work when the numbers are uneven? Do the bridesmaids walk down the aisle hand in hand with the groomsman, or one by one? I just dont know.

    #2 diamondpooch

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      Posted 14 December 2009 - 03:56 PM

      Aw sweetie that totally sucks! I can't believe he text! I think all this technology in the world today has allowed us to forget our manners and how to do the right thing! One of my BM's dropped out via text as well.
      I would just have one guy walk two girls down. He will feel like a stud and all will be fine!

      #3 kris

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        Posted 14 December 2009 - 04:25 PM

        I wouldnt worry about the numbers..maybe just have all the groomsen standing at the alter and have only the girls walk down, thats what Im doing. If it makes you feel any better, my MOH did that to me as well last minute ..instead of a text, she went MIA for a month and then told me, as well my FI's brother who is a groomsmen is also no longer coming because my Fi mom was supposed to pay for him and says she cant now (even though weve already apid for his outfit etc.) The best advice I can give you is to just brush it off....your going to have fun no matter what just try not to let anything get to you :)

        #4 NaM

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          Posted 14 December 2009 - 04:26 PM

          girl...I hear ya. One of the groomsmen in our wedding backed out THE DAY WE LEFT. Like, that morning!! And told us in an email. His room was paid for and everything.
          It sucks but honestly, he's the one missing out!!!!!

          I don't think it matters one teeny tiny bit if the numbers are uneven. Roll with the punches and enjoy your day-don't stress about what you can't control and trust that everything works out the was it's supposed to!!

          #5 Girasole

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            Posted 14 December 2009 - 05:07 PM

            Right now my FIs friends haven't committed to coming so at this point we aren't sure who his bestman will be. I think it sucks for him : (
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            #6 starchild

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              Posted 14 December 2009 - 06:06 PM

              Been there! Our best man backed out as well. And one of my BMs. And another GM. We were totally uneven and the wedding was fabulous. One of our guys "volunteered" (lol) to walk 2 girls down and it was fine. The ceremony is so short as it is so it doesn't matter, plus people aren't flying to your wedding to see who is in it...all eyes will be on the couple about to get married :)

              It is frustrating right now but trust me - in the end the people who should be there will be and you will not find yourself missing the people who didn't show

              #7 debbmach

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                Posted 14 December 2009 - 06:07 PM

                That's really too bad that he backed out at the last minute...and over a text! Maybe that tells you something about the kind of friend he really is! I don't think you have to worry about having an uneven number of people in the wedding party, I think that's becoming a bit more common.
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                #8 vlynnw

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                  Posted 14 December 2009 - 06:16 PM

                  Sorry to hear he backed out, but I don't think having an un-even number really matters all that much. You can have them walk down together like 1 and 1 and 1 with 2 or just have the girls walk down alone it's all your personal choice.
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                  #9 Jess

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                    Posted 14 December 2009 - 06:31 PM

                    I'm sorry! We had a similar situation - but we kicked ours out because he turned out to be a douche bag...anyway, I promise it will be fine, no one even knew ours was missing a best man! I know it really sucks though, but do know it will be amazing without him

                    #10 **~Linda~**

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                      Posted 14 December 2009 - 06:34 PM

                      Definitely know how you feel on this one. FI asked his brother to be BM at the wedding and he flat out said no. That "at this point in his life he just couldn't do that" what sort of BS is that. Then come to find out he asked about the bridal party and said he was coming to the wedding. Turns out he's only coming for the wedding per say. Yes you heard it he will be in PR for 6hrs and has to leave the wedding early to catch the flight back (big w/e on that).. FI honestly had shitty luck with BMs though:
                      1. He asked his brother he said no
                      2. He asked his best friend and although he accepted FI and I felt like it was best to relieve him from his duties because his job and this wedding together was just not working out. It would've been a hectic situation for him and we know he really was trying to fulfill his duties but time wasn't on his side.
                      3. He asked his father and he said that it would be best if he would insist on his brother(w/e) but he would do it if nothing more appeared(big WTF on that)

                      Anyhow honestly it doesn't matter if you have an uneven number or at least it didnt to us. Think of it as he is the one losing out on having the honor of being the BM for the wedding. My wedding coordinator suggested having the guys there with FI and the ladies just walk up as singles and on the way out my MOH was going to walk with my ring bearer , maybe this could be a possible solution?... Did you have tuxes rented etc? If not and having an even num. wedding is imp. have you considered asking someone else like a close family relative for be part of the bridal party?




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