People keep inviting themselves!!!!! I've had it!
Posted 27 December 2009 - 09:49 PM
Posted 28 December 2009 - 03:42 PM
We went through this same thing but I was FIRM, borderline rude probably. I had a number in my head and no one was going over and above the line! lol We did NOT have the money, I wasn't going to put even MORE money on our credit card, and it was MY day.
The best way I found to deal with people inviting themselves or making references to coming was just to tell them that we were having a very small, family only affair and they would definitely be receiving invites to our AHR. The tricky part is telling people where you'll be and saying they can come to the same resort but then trying to tell them they are NOT invited. That might seem somewhat like a bait and switch to people.
I think you should either go all the way by inviting to them to all wedding festivities OR just a flat out no, sorry, you can't come is best.
I thought it would be a great compromise to have people at the resort but not at the wedding and now I realize it's maybe not the greatest idea.
Good luck on NYE!! I love your Wedding Crasher T-shirt idea...LOLed at that one!
Posted 29 December 2009 - 10:55 PM
Even though people are inviting themselves, they might back out when it comes to actually booking! Worst case.... be honest when they ask for the resort information. If I were in their shoes, I would appreciate the honesty and understand how you feel. An alternative would be to get your AHR invites ready and give them to your FI to carry around. When people ask if they're invited... he can give them the AHR invite! Message received loud and clear!
Good luck (and I LOVE the T-Shirts)
Posted 30 December 2009 - 10:23 AM
Posted 30 December 2009 - 12:09 PM
Posted 30 December 2009 - 01:09 PM
Posted 01 January 2010 - 05:25 PM
I've had similar problems but capped it at 30 people. Now what do you do when second and third family members start inviting themselves??
Posted 09 February 2010 - 07:43 PM
| Originally Posted by diamondpooch |
My fianc©e knows a lot of people. Every time we are out people keep coming up to us complaining they didn't get an invitation! How rude! Of course my FI feels bad and awkward so he tells them I'll send them an email with the info to book. We wanted a smallish wedding with only our close friends and family and now it's getting ridiculous! How do I gently ask my fianc©e to stop inviting people without making it seem like I'm being mean to his friends?
Also how do I make it known to people that it's not ok to just ask someone to come to their wedding? Even my bridesmaids are telling me stories of people coming up to them while they are out saying "oh ya, I think I might go down to Mexico for that wedding too." What? They're not even invited!
I'm already at 53 which is way more than I wanted and my mom just can't afford all this! Also for every extra person I have to make more programs, OOT bags, etc and that costs me money I don't have!
I wish I could afford to have all these people down there but I can't! Help!
Shortly after I sent the resort information to my family, they started inviting ALL their friends!!! We've also had several of our own friends approach us assuming they would be invited (err, no.). I ended up sending a firm but gently worded email to the culprits letting them know that only the people that WE invited were, well, invited. Granted, your fiance was a culprit in this case (doh!!) so I'm hoping you guys got this resolved asap!
Posted 09 February 2010 - 08:08 PM
AHH, my heart breaks for you, because if you are anything like me you are ready to snap. lol. I hope everything works out, and if they aren't that close I would just say let go and let god! if they want a vacation do it another time. It's truly annoying how people can just assume they are invited somewhere.
good luck girl!
Posted 11 February 2010 - 05:11 AM
We sent out 75 invitations. However, we told our guests that they could bring as many guests as they want. We decided to not cap the guest list because we already knew that many folks who received an invitation would not be able to attend (due to finances, family fueds, fear of flying, etc.) You know, the people that you need to invite to prevent further family drama.
After we sent out the invitations, so many other folks started to ask for their OWN invitations. My aunt asked me if I can send out a seperate invitation to her friend (someone I didn't know). Needless to say, it was very easy to put my foot down and say no. But it worked out because this friend is coming to the wedding under my aunt's invitation.
I had a couple of college friends that requested an invitation. They would have been on the original guest list, but they always flaked out on me when it came to important events. Therefore, I felt they were not worthy of the invitation (at the end, they cost approximately $10 per invite). Instead, I sent them all the information for the wedding via e-mail. Of course, those friends declined my e-mail invite.
My FI was not so lucky. My FI got into an argument with my FMIL because we did not send a seperate invitation to her ex-SIL. Mind you- this is a woman whom I have never met during the 5.5 years of our relationship. I guess she really wanted to go because after my FI sent her the info via e-mail, she said that she will attend.
My FI also had a little conflict with is grandmother. She requested another invitation for her friend. And this is a woman my FI did not know well at all. My FI said no, thus causing even more conflict between him and his mom.
I am envious that you have a lot of guests attending your wedding. However, it's your wedding. Many guests lose sight of that. They think that no harm will be caused if you approve of them inviting themselves. However, they fail to realize the extra financial burden that you and your FI will ultimately bear.
In a polite and respectful way, tell these wedding crashers that the wedding and reception is only for invited close friends and family. You should also inform these wedding crashers that hotel security will not permit anyone who is not on the guest list.
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