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People keep inviting themselves!!!!! I've had it!

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#21 diamondpooch

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    Posted 16 December 2009 - 12:27 AM

    Honestly, I know most of the people who are inviting themselves are not looking at this like an opportunity to share in our special day, they are looking at it as a spring break for them and their friends and that's not what I want.
    These people are wild and crazy and will be drunken messes the whole time!
    I really shouldn't seal the fate of all this before it happens I just really want the atmosphere of my wedding to be fun, yet mature and these people are b****s to the wall crazy! Right now, I have five of my friends going and my FI has over 30! Ahhh!

    #22 silverangel

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      Posted 16 December 2009 - 12:35 AM

      I totally feel for you...love the t-shirt idea...might have to borrow it!!!

      Spring break is exactly how I don't want it to turn out like but with FI friends, that is what it is going to be!

      Good luck in whatever you chose to do...if any of it is in your hands :)

      #23 carolina24

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        Posted 16 December 2009 - 12:42 AM

        i will NEVER understand how rude and flat out stupid people are!!! how are you going to invite yourself to a wedding, WTF!!!!!! you're right, all they want is a vacation; that's what I kept saying, it's not all about the money...you also want it to be with people that care about you and are special to you.

        #24 diamondpooch

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          Posted 16 December 2009 - 02:14 PM

          I'm glad u guys understand. We will just have to see what happens but until then I might be suggesting we stay in so we don't run into anyone else who wants to invite themselves!

          #25 bride2b10

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            Posted 16 December 2009 - 04:24 PM

            wow that is unbelievably, incredibly rude and I don't understand why people don't understand that it's a wedding..if somebody wants you there, they will invite you. Especially if you wanted to have a smaller wedding with family and close friends. Have a talk with your FI and explain your concern. Also, if people ask just politely say that it's a small intimate wedding for immediate family and close friends only and that you'd be happy to celebrate upon your return.

            21 Booked + Bride & Groom!!!

            #26 DanielleNDerek

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              Posted 16 December 2009 - 04:49 PM

              Gotta love when people just invite themselves to a wedding. You really need to sit your FI down and tell him to stop inviting people, maybe give him some of examples of what he can say to people when they ask like "Sorry we really wanted a small wedding so we had to limit the invites." or "we had a small budget". Maybe if he knows what to say when people ask he wont just blurt out "i'll have my fi email you the booking details".

              Now you cant stop people from going to Mexico but you can keep them from being invited to the wedding activities. I think people just assume since your having a wedding at an AI than your reception is free which is not the case. Hopefully the resort your getting married at is pretty big and has a lot of pools and a long beach, maybe you wont run into all of his crazy friends that much. Lastly maybe these people wont end up booking. The economy is pretty bad right now and its Christmas time so maybe they wont have the extra money for a Mexican vacay.

              ***Married November 6, 2008***Gavin Born February 28th, 2010***
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              #27 simba1234

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                Posted 17 December 2009 - 03:03 PM

                I'm having the same problem... I wanted a small intimate wedding of about 30 people and the list of people who are going is now near 55! And every day I find out of one or two more people who are inviting themselves. Just yesterday my mom told me of a family friend that invited herself and said she's not missing it for the world...but she wasn't on my original list!

                This has happened a LOT! And I have to be careful about any new people my FI meets or goes out to drinks with because he immediately invites them. His list is TWICE as long as mine because he wants to invite the world. I had a long talk with him and told him we had to limit this list to family & very close friends because we simply CANNOT afford it. I had a heart to heart and said I wish all these people could go but we just don't have the money. I think that when I broke it down to him he got it so he's not inviting additional people. But the problem now is people inviting themselves. I think that at some point I'm just going to tell people that the venue has a limited capacity and we had to keep it small so we are only inviting family.

                That's always my excuse... I say it's a family affair (even though it really isn't only family). I've found people don't take it personal when you say you're only inviting family.

                Good luck!

                #28 Lady_Di

                • Sr. Member
                • 5,078 posts

                  Posted 17 December 2009 - 07:16 PM

                  Just let them know that they are more than welcome to join you guys in Mexico but the wedding will be a family affair. Simple like that.

                  Hopefully, everything works out for you!!

                  #29 DelightfulDani

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                    Posted 20 December 2009 - 11:41 AM

                    One caution I would make is that if you invite these additional people to the wedding, then you will need to have some process in place to ensure that they do not follow to the reception. Maybe you will have to have someone to sign guest in.

                    #30 kelly1214

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                    • 92 posts

                      Posted 27 December 2009 - 07:38 PM

                      It's nice to know there are other brides with the same problem... We're only inviting our immediate families but my parents assumed I was inviting my extended family too and told them all about it. I saw everyone at a family Christmas party this weekend and they were wondering where their invitations are... ummm, no where, they aren't getting any.

                      I understand other's positions of "the more the merrier." But merrier for who? Not me! I don't even want a wedding, the justice of the peace is fine with me. My FI wanted a wedding so I agreed to do a destination wedding hoping it would be less stress/money for us. I'd rather see the $10,000 being spent on the wedding going into our down payment on the house.

                      Enough venting. I'm really not a wedding grinch but...

                      It's your day, thank those wanting to come for their willingness to want to be there but explain you are keeping the guest list to a minimum because you want an intimate wedding. When you look back at your wedding, you don't want to remember being stressed out and upset because you have more people than you wanted or have a bill that is too big. You want to look back and remember it as the day you started your lives together.

                      And yes- I love the "wedding crasher" t-shirt idea!!!!!

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