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diamondpooch

People keep inviting themselves!!!!! I've had it!

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Hey,

 

I know how you feel....kind of have the same situation as has been documented in another thread. I'm afraid to see what is going to happen when the actual invites go out!! On one hand...it's very flattering to have so many people want to come to your wedding. On the other....you only wanted close family and friends. Not to mention....this will become a huge financial burden if it gets out of hand.

 

Have a candid conversation with your fiance about the costs. I think that sometimes our FI's have no idea just how much an uninvited guest can cost. This is especially true since your mother is bearing the burden of the expense. Also...be firm from the start....don't waiver. When folks say that they will come but not go to the wedding or that their invited guest will simply stay with them...hold them to it and let them know that this is your intention. I would ask the FI to simply tell folks that the wedding is a small affair and that you will be sending information later on about an AHR.

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My Fiance and I felt this way about it.

 

***If someone wants and cares enough about us to spend all that money to come and watch us get married. Then we would find room in the budget to host them.

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I have to agree with Erika and Lo. You cant stop someone from coming and vacationing. And just think the more the merrier. And it prob wont ever reach the number that would come to an at home wedding, ya know?

 

If someone cares and wants to spend your special day then I would def. accomodate the. I would go with the flow personally. We have 24 coming and I wish we had more. IMO.

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we have a similar thing, but why not compremise. those invited come to the wedding, those not invited come for a holiday, are welcome to come and watch the ceremony and then say you'll see them in the evening after you've had your wedding meal in one of the bars. then they're involved in your day, but not pushing your budget. does that work? and you don't have to do ott bags and all that for them surely?!

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I totally get where your coming from... My brother actually took invites off my dinningroom table and gave them to his friends. I counted the invites a couple times before I realized four were missing... I mentioned it to my FI and he said "oh I did want to say anything but your brother took a few yesterday while he was here". Ok I was seeing red and called him up to ask what the hell he was thinking. His explanation was "I took mine so you didn't have to mail it and I grabbed a couple for my friends because I want them to come'. I totally flipped out at him... that he could have a vacation with his friends and drink his face off, I didn't want his friends at my wedding and that he needed to make that totally clear to each and everyone of them. Needless to say Bro has not booked yet!!!!!

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I totally feel your pain. This kind of a situation is a large part of why we even decided to do a DW wedding. We were having an ATW and this was happening to us. A girl that used to have a crush on my fiance and whom I didn't know had the nerve to send me a congratulatory message of Myspace saying "I had better be invited!". You had better be invited? Are you kidding me? As for accomodating all of those "extra" people...where I see that being maybe the easiest thing to do...why should you have to compromise on YOUR day? Aboslutely not. I would simply tell your FI how you feel, and send invites only to the people you originally intended on coming. And I LOVE the wedding crasher t-shirt idea. LOL

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I have had similar issues as well - people have actually called me and asked "so are we invited to your wedding?" We have more than double what we expected booked, but like some of the other girls, we are so flattered that so many want to come to our wedding. The reception at the resort is certainly going to be more expensive than we imagined but we figure this is a once-in-a-lifetime trip, so the more the merrier!

 

I hope everything works out for you - the wedding crasher T-Shirt is a really great idea!

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Quote:
Originally Posted by diamondpooch View Post
I've solved this problem: I'm going to give a special gift in the OOT bag for those who come who weren't invited:

A T-Shirt that says WEDDING CRASHER


LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!
LMAO...I love that idea!

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I would tell your FI that if he wants all the extra's to come to get a second job to pay for them. That it isn't fair to put that finanical burden on your family? Maybe that would help him understand? I don't really know. My FI has none of his friends going. Its sad but at the same time they are alot like how you described your FI's friends so maybe its a good thing ; )

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Honestly, I know most of the people who are inviting themselves are not looking at this like an opportunity to share in our special day, they are looking at it as a spring break for them and their friends and that's not what I want.

These people are wild and crazy and will be drunken messes the whole time!

I really shouldn't seal the fate of all this before it happens I just really want the atmosphere of my wedding to be fun, yet mature and these people are b****s to the wall crazy! Right now, I have five of my friends going and my FI has over 30! Ahhh!

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