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People keep inviting themselves!!!!! I've had it!

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#1 diamondpooch

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    Posted 14 December 2009 - 02:41 PM

    My fianc©e knows a lot of people. Every time we are out people keep coming up to us complaining they didn't get an invitation! How rude! Of course my FI feels bad and awkward so he tells them I'll send them an email with the info to book. We wanted a smallish wedding with only our close friends and family and now it's getting ridiculous! How do I gently ask my fianc©e to stop inviting people without making it seem like I'm being mean to his friends?
    Also how do I make it known to people that it's not ok to just ask someone to come to their wedding? Even my bridesmaids are telling me stories of people coming up to them while they are out saying "oh ya, I think I might go down to Mexico for that wedding too." What? They're not even invited!
    I'm already at 53 which is way more than I wanted and my mom just can't afford all this! Also for every extra person I have to make more programs, OOT bags, etc and that costs me money I don't have!
    I wish I could afford to have all these people down there but I can't! Help!

    #2 vlynnw

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      Posted 14 December 2009 - 02:47 PM

      I'm in the same boat as you are. FI just keeps telling people they can come because they show some interest in it. We originally said 25 and our guest list is now up to 70. One of his co-workers sent him a text asking what resort we were getting married at because they are going to go and I'm like wtf they aren't invited. I myself am putting my foot down I explained to my FI that yes it would be nice but the whole reason we're doing a DW is because we want it just family and close friends. This is also why we are having an AHR for all the other people we aren't inviting to Mexico. I also explained that we can't afford all these extra people and it's just not possible. Emphasize to those "other" people that think they are going that this is a small family affair and if you are doing an AHR make sure you emphasize that as well.
      Veronica & Adam - May 6, 2011 - Dreams Tulum

      #3 debbmach

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        Posted 14 December 2009 - 03:06 PM

        That is such a tough situation to be in! I think you do have to be honest with those people. Tell them you're having a small affair for just close friends and family. I'm not sure if you're having an AHR, but that is what it's for...everyone else who couldn't come. I hope you guys figure it all out, although it sounds like it's already bigger than what you wanted. Good luck!

        58 people booked...and counting!!!

        #4 *Lo*

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          Posted 14 December 2009 - 03:09 PM

          I think there is a difference between going to Mexico and staying at the same resort and all hanging out and then going to your wedding. Only the people you have invited should be at your wedding. That should be understood, but you can't really stop people from heading to Mexico at the same time for a vacation.

          It's kind of awesome so many people want to go, I think that you could tell your FI that you are at the limit on guests since it's a small wedding but if others are interested in making the trip that's cool just ensure he lets them know that the wedding was invitation only due to having a small group.

          That's really the only thing I can come up with!!

          #5 diamondpooch

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            Posted 14 December 2009 - 03:48 PM

            I wish it was just that they r gonna go for a vacation and stayat another resort but that's not the case! (ps sorry for my text mode all the time w my abbreviated words ). They will all be staying w us at barcelo! I love that all his friends want to come but his friends r all super crazy and I don't want this to turn into some crazy adult spring break for the boys and I'm afraid that's what will happen. Some of his friends have already said to me "you better just be prepared for debauchery!"
            NO I will NOT prepare! I want ppl to have fun but I also want them to remember that they are down there for a wedding and that my children and entire family will be there and I don't want them getting too out of control!
            Yesterday my MOH was saying some guy she is fooling around with pretty much invites himself and she was like "he can just stay w me in my room." she is already in a room with three of my other BM's and he isn't invited!
            I just want my wedding week to be calm and fun with my family and close friends. Not a free for all for anyone who wants a spring break! I'm really nervous my wedding week will be ruined cuz of crazy, wild uninvited guests!

            #6 bosi

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              Posted 14 December 2009 - 03:59 PM

              I envy you a little.
              My Family and friends yes, but most of FI's friends and family not coming, and co workers are keeping mom and not saying a thing.....akward......

              But for your problem, I think you need to be firm with your FI and MOH and say that if anyone else iwants to come, they have to stay at another resort. Dont let them stay with you. OR you could move to another resort with your friends and family right after the wedding.
              IS there any way, you can get the message out that they have to pay extra for something for booking so late, their reception meal or something like that, or is that too militant?

              #7 shellk

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                Posted 14 December 2009 - 05:46 PM

                boys.they make you laugh they think everyone is their best friends especially after a few drinks.i dont think there is any easy way to put it you need to be straight with him and tell him you need to draw the line.or if you do want more people make them pay their own way.

                #8 diamondpooch

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                  Posted 14 December 2009 - 07:44 PM

                  I can totally see how some people who don't have a lot of people going would envy me. I don't mean to be insensitive to you guys!
                  We opted out of a wedding in the states because we wanted something smaller and now it's getting out of control. I feel so bad asking my mom and dad for money because I know they just can't afford it. Originally I budgeted for a lot less people so it's frustrating to have to rework the numbers and possibly ask for more money!
                  I guess I just have to accept reality that lots more are coming than I wanted and make peace with it!
                  I am going to have a chat with my FI about cutting the guest list off. I'm scared of what will happen on NYE! I'm sure we will see lots of people out that we hardly ever run into and the guest list will probably increase by 20 after that night! LOL!

                  #9 bosi

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                    Posted 14 December 2009 - 09:50 PM

                    Dont worry about being insensitive. A problem is a problem.
                    What you need to do on NYE is to wear a disguise ;-)

                    #10 diamondpooch

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                      Posted 15 December 2009 - 01:40 AM

                      I've solved this problem: I'm going to give a special gift in the OOT bag for those who come who weren't invited:

                      A T-Shirt that says WEDDING CRASHER


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