What I would and wouldn't do again...

[flo628]

Good idea. We wont have a photo shoot ahead of time, but I will tell him these tips!! He is super awkward around someone else taking our picture!  

No...just take your time ; ) I'm housecleaning this morning and my mind is wandering aimlessly.  I just thought of something else I would "do again".  If you and your FI have never had a photoshoot done together, I would recommend you do this before working with your "big gun" (i.e., your wedding day photographer).  We had some very reasonably priced engagement photos done in the fall (it was a groupon) and that helped us figure out how to pose together...what angles we preferred...what poses we hated (for me it was definitely the ones where he was standing behind me with his arms wrapped under my bustline)...and just got us comfortable moving in front of a camera.  For some reason, it took some time for my FI to figure out that when the photog said "ok, now lean in and kiss her", he needed to slow down and hold the kiss for longer than a millisecond!        

REALLY good idea! Didn't even think of that...we are both really uncomfortable in front of the camera.

[flo628]

I can't believe how long it took me to find this (and to read through all 65 pages... hee : ), but WOW, what great info. some of my favorite tips were: * having bottled water at the ceremony site * adding a basket of toiletries (deoderant, hairspray, powder, tampons, etc) and monogrammed towels in the bathroom near the reception * bringing dessert boxes/tupperware to pack up the extra cake (for guest favors) - in fact, I'd like to see the cake served alongside dessert * putting flowers in bloom boxes so guests can take them if florists need their vases returned * wearing light blue flip flops during the reception as your 'something blue' * including blank CDs and postage paid envelopes in the OOT bags so guests can mail you their pictures (GENIUS!!) * including stamped postcards in the OOT bags - one from Mexico that guests can send to their friends and one from the US that guests can record their favorite memory on and mail to you * buying glow necklaces for the reception (target ususally has these in their $1 bins around summer) there were so many more - those are just the highlights I noted down. again, WOW. LOVE this forum. : )

Bring Tupperware for leftover cake! Genius!!!

[newlyengaged13]

Wow!  such great ideas.  Thanks Ladies

[jenn4285]

This is an amazing thread! 

[ironman]

Originally Posted by Vancouver Bride 

 

 

What I wouldn’t do again

• Worry about pleasing guests who couldn’t come or wasting time responding to guests who were coming but kept emailing me about hurricane Sandy. In the end you will have an amazing time with the people that DO decide to be there. There was nothing I could do about the weather so I don’t know why they emailed me except to stress me out. I spent too much time answering emails about the resort and weather and should have just forwarded the email to our wedding planner or travel agent to deal with.

 

This is a great piece of advice and definitely something I need to take to heart!

[JillTran]

gkashmira, your dress is BEAUTIFUL! It would be nice to keep it, but I can understand why you would want or need to sell it, watching it sit in your closet is not fun, might as well help make another bride just as happy and pretty as you were on your special day =)

 

Congrats on your beautiful wedding!

 

-Jill

[nancya]

I have been married 22 days now!!!!! 

 

Overall the wedding was great. I wish that I had done more planning in terms of the timeline on the wedding day. I didn't realize that no one really knew what was going on and what time the photographer was supposed to arrive and when to be ready. My husband asked me on the wedding day whats going on....it was a little annoying because I thought he knew what was going on but I didn't realize I never told him!

 

Make sure that you just relax on the wedding day and try to enjoy it. Don't let things bring you down. I was annoyed right before the ceremony because one of my bridesmaids forgot her flowers and her boyfriend was going back to the house to get it. He ended up not making it back until almost the end of the ceremony because two of the guests had decided to go get their nails done and were still getting ready, they asked him to wait for them to go to the beach for the ceremony. Shame on me to think that one of them was a good friend. That was all I could think about during the ceremony and afterwards while taking pictures. It basically ruined it for me. 

 

I wish that we had done a rehearsal so that everyone knew what they were doing. 

I wish that I didn't have our parents cook for the reception and had an actual reception. I tried to keep costs down so we rented a beach house and our parents cooked, i wished that they could have enjoyed it more instead of cooking.

I wish that I wasn't so cheap with some of the things (i bought cheaper robes for the girls and wish that I had gotten better quality ones)

 

I am so glad that I picked my bridesmaids because they were so supportive and easy going. There was no bridesmaid drama at all during the wedding planning process.

I am glad that I picked my husband! LOL

I am also very happy with the photographer we picked (Dede Edwards Photography)

I am glad I picked my wedding dress and diy flowers

I am happy with the beach house we rented and the location for our wedding (Destin, FL)

The timing was also good because the weather was perfect.

I'm happy with the DIY projects that I did (first aid kits, welcome kits, invitations) 

 

In the end you married the love of your life and that's all that really matters. All the little details and things that may or may not go right will be faint memories because no matter how bad things go you will choose to remember the happy moments and the fact that you are now married.

 

Good luck to all the bride to be's and thank you to everyone that has helped me and posted templates for everyone to use and share. I admit that I am sad that I am no longer a bride but I will live vicariously through other bride to be's

 

<3

Nancy

[redsoxgrl]

I just read every page of this thread and it was SO HELPFUL!!! We went from inviting close family and friends to UNINVITING everyone! People were already complaining of cost, etc even though our wedding is 13 months out. We also decided after reading this thread, we do not want to be entertaining people all week. We also decided on a TTD photoshoot off site it was still a great help even though we are eloping - thanks so much ladies!

[jello]

I just got back yesterday from our wedding this past Saturday in Mexico.  WOW.  I never bought into the whole "your wedding is the best day of your life" thing, but that truly may have been the best week of my life.  The experience of being surrounded by family and friends in a gorgeous tropical setting, seeing old friends reconnect, watching grandmas dancing with little kids, drinking tequila with your best friends and jumping in the ocean... I can't even describe it.  It was everything I hoped it would be, and even better. 

 

What I would do again:

 

• Choose great vendors and trust them completely.  We held our wedding at Ana y Jose hotel with the amazing Jackie and Claudia as wedding coordinators.  Marvin Kunil of Maya Diseño did our flowers, Citlalli Rico of Claudia Photo was our photographer (I haven't seen the photos yet but I just know they're amazing), and the Shine Band was our entertainment.  I spent a lot of time researching vendors, and it was totally worth it because they were all incredible professionals who made everything look beautiful, run smoothly, and happen without us lifting a finger.  When you have great vendors, you really can just sit back and enjoy.
• Book a band instead of a DJ.  I went back and forth between getting a DJ vs a band, but at the end of the day the Shine Band's energy, performance, and props made for an amazing party that no DJ could have matched!
• Do photos before the ceremony.  We did our first look, family portraits, and couple portraits all before the ceremony.  It was really great to see my husband before the ceremony because I was so nervous and taking photos helped me calm down, and I'm also really glad we got it out of the way because after the ceremony all I wanted to do was hug all my guests and have a drink with them!
• Delegate like crazy.  On the wedding day, we put two of our friends in charge of decorations, another one in charge of making sure audio was set up for the ceremony, and our dads in charge of place cards and seating.  This was on top of having two professional wedding coordinators from our venue.  I made printouts in advance with the wedding day timeline and vendor contact information, gave them to our friends and closest family, and then let go.  For the entire day, we were able to just enjoy being in the moment and let other people worry about logistics. 
• Keep things simple.  We didn't do OOT bags, favors, or formal dances.  Instead of doing a traditional wedding cake, we just served tres leches cake (already cut) as dessert.  We gave our guests maracas to shake as we walked down the aisle instead of playing a song or hiring a musician because you can't screw up maracas, and we served dinner family-style so there would be no mix-ups with people being served the wrong dish.  During the entire planning process, I kept asking myself "how can I make this as error-proof as possible?" and it was great, because there just weren't that many details for me to worry about.
• Be present to enjoy all the unscripted moments.  There were so many great moments during the day that we could not possibly have prepared for, and because we kept things simple and delegated all the worrying away, we were able to be present for them.  For example, halfway during dinner a giant blue crab came crawling through our restaurant on the beach!  The guests all gathered around, some people were trying to catch it, and it was just a great, hilarious moment.  Another great moment was when my new husband and I snuck away for about ten minutes during the crazy dance party to sit in some hammocks outside and just be alone in the cool night breeze.

 

 

What I wouldn't do again:

 

• Worry so much. During the planning process, I worried about everything that could go wrong: what if there's a hurricane, what if the food tastes bad, what if the guests don't have fun, etc. etc.  Now looking back, I can tell you that there is absolutely no reason to worry. This is going to sound super cheesy, but it's true: the love between you, your new spouse, and all the people there for your wedding will just completely overpower everything else.  Even if we had gotten married in a parking lot in the pouring rain with no food, everyone still would've been thrilled for us and we still would've had a great time. 
• Choose a dress early.  This is embarrassing to admit but I ended up buying, changing my mind about, and then selling my wedding dress TWICE, and the dress I actually wore was the third one I bought.  If the wedding was a few months from now, I might even have changed my mind again.  Ladies, if you know you're fickle like me, wait until the last possible moment to buy your dress so you don't have time to change your mind. 
• Worry at all.  Really, everything will be perfect, and the things that don't go perfectly you won't even notice.  

[Lydia1120]

Originally Posted by jello 

 

I just got back yesterday from our wedding this past Saturday in Mexico.  WOW.  I never bought into the whole "your wedding is the best day of your life" thing, but that truly may have been the best week of my life.  The experience of being surrounded by family and friends in a gorgeous tropical setting, seeing old friends reconnect, watching grandmas dancing with little kids, drinking tequila with your best friends and jumping in the ocean... I can't even describe it.  It was everything I hoped it would be, and even better. 

 

What I would do again:

 

• Choose great vendors and trust them completely.  We held our wedding at Ana y Jose hotel with the amazing Jackie and Claudia as wedding coordinators.  Marvin Kunil of Maya Diseño did our flowers, Citlalli Rico of Claudia Photo was our photographer (I haven't seen the photos yet but I just know they're amazing), and the Shine Band was our entertainment.  I spent a lot of time researching vendors, and it was totally worth it because they were all incredible professionals who made everything look beautiful, run smoothly, and happen without us lifting a finger.  When you have great vendors, you really can just sit back and enjoy.
• Book a band instead of a DJ.  I went back and forth between getting a DJ vs a band, but at the end of the day the Shine Band's energy, performance, and props made for an amazing party that no DJ could have matched!
• Do photos before the ceremony.  We did our first look, family portraits, and couple portraits all before the ceremony.  It was really great to see my husband before the ceremony because I was so nervous and taking photos helped me calm down, and I'm also really glad we got it out of the way because after the ceremony all I wanted to do was hug all my guests and have a drink with them!
• Delegate like crazy.  On the wedding day, we put two of our friends in charge of decorations, another one in charge of making sure audio was set up for the ceremony, and our dads in charge of place cards and seating.  This was on top of having two professional wedding coordinators from our venue.  I made printouts in advance with the wedding day timeline and vendor contact information, gave them to our friends and closest family, and then let go.  For the entire day, we were able to just enjoy being in the moment and let other people worry about logistics. 
• Keep things simple.  We didn't do OOT bags, favors, or formal dances.  Instead of doing a traditional wedding cake, we just served tres leches cake (already cut) as dessert.  We gave our guests maracas to shake as we walked down the aisle instead of playing a song or hiring a musician because you can't screw up maracas, and we served dinner family-style so there would be no mix-ups with people being served the wrong dish.  During the entire planning process, I kept asking myself "how can I make this as error-proof as possible?" and it was great, because there just weren't that many details for me to worry about.
• Be present to enjoy all the unscripted moments.  There were so many great moments during the day that we could not possibly have prepared for, and because we kept things simple and delegated all the worrying away, we were able to be present for them.  For example, halfway during dinner a giant blue crab came crawling through our restaurant on the beach!  The guests all gathered around, some people were trying to catch it, and it was just a great, hilarious moment.  Another great moment was when my new husband and I snuck away for about ten minutes during the crazy dance party to sit in some hammocks outside and just be alone in the cool night breeze.

 

 

What I wouldn't do again:

 

• Worry so much. During the planning process, I worried about everything that could go wrong: what if there's a hurricane, what if the food tastes bad, what if the guests don't have fun, etc. etc.  Now looking back, I can tell you that there is absolutely no reason to worry. This is going to sound super cheesy, but it's true: the love between you, your new spouse, and all the people there for your wedding will just completely overpower everything else.  Even if we had gotten married in a parking lot in the pouring rain with no food, everyone still would've been thrilled for us and we still would've had a great time. 
• Choose a dress early.  This is embarrassing to admit but I ended up buying, changing my mind about, and then selling my wedding dress TWICE, and the dress I actually wore was the third one I bought.  If the wedding was a few months from now, I might even have changed my mind again.  Ladies, if you know you're fickle like me, wait until the last possible moment to buy your dress so you don't have time to change your mind. 
• Worry at all.  Really, everything will be perfect, and the things that don't go perfectly you won't even notice.  

Great Advice Jello.....thank you so very much!!!!  I especially enjoyed 2 specific comments of yours: 

 

"I never bought into the whole "your wedding is the best day of your life" thing, but that truly may have been the best week of my life.  The experience of being surrounded by family and friends in a gorgeous tropical setting, seeing old friends reconnect, watching grandmas dancing with little kids, drinking tequila with your best friends and jumping in the ocean... I can't even describe it.  It was everything I hoped it would be, and even better."  and 

 

"This is going to sound super cheesy, but it's true: the love between you, your new spouse, and all the people there for your wedding will just completely overpower everything else.  Even if we had gotten married in a parking lot in the pouring rain with no food, everyone still would've been thrilled for us and we still would've had a great time. "

 

Thank you for putting things in perspective...and not "chessy" at all! 

 

Oh and Congratulations !!!!!!