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Shower for second Marriage

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#1 jamsmom

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    Posted 06 December 2009 - 09:32 PM

    I am wondering if it is okay to have showers for my second marriage?

    I have had two different sets of friends that want to give me a shower and want to make sure this is ok.

    How many of you have had or been to a shower for a brides second marriage?

    #2 SusieQ

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      Posted 06 December 2009 - 09:40 PM

      I have been to showers for second time brides and I am fine with going. Myself second time around I have advised everyone that I do not want to have a shower. My girlfriend has pushed the issue a couple of times and I have flat out told her no. I am just not comfortable with the gift thing and it isn't the second time around thing it's the gifts. I don't want people spending money on me.

      #3 A2Bride

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        Posted 06 December 2009 - 09:41 PM

        Well I am in a similar position, except my cousin told me that she refuses to give me a shower because I have already had one!! That kind of struck a cord with me, but what can i do?!? I was married 4.5 years ago, did not last long, and gave more than half of my "new" stuff to him. I believe that any marriage you are having is a "new life"...so in my opinion I think you should have a shower!!

        Very interested to hear in others' comments on this topic...

        #4 Girasole

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          Posted 07 December 2009 - 11:00 AM

          This is my 2nd marriage & I told my friend/family I don't need another shower. Plus we are having people spend a good amount of money to join us at Turks & Caicos so I didn't want to impose more costs.
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          #5 mrsrhbtobe

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            Posted 07 December 2009 - 04:17 PM

            I think if your friends want to throw you a shower, and you're okay with it, then go for it!
            Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.

            #6 frazali

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              Posted 07 December 2009 - 05:36 PM

              Mine was a 2nd marriage as well, and I didn't want a shower. I felt like the people who would be invited already went to my first shower, and I didn't want to feel weird about having them feel obligated to give more presents.

              But, we also didn't have attendants, so that also made it easier to not have a shower.

              #7 ~Nicole~

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                Posted 07 December 2009 - 05:48 PM

                Hmmm I'm not big on the whole 2nd shower thing. Celebrate, yes for sure its your wedding! I think its the gift thing that rubs people the wrong way. I think its just tough to keep up these days with babies and weddings so when people start going the second time around it becomes over the top. However, I think this all depends on each individual scenario and how close you are with some of these people and who you intend to invite. For example, I wouldn't necessarily have an issue with doing this for someone I'm really close to because to be honest I would naturally get them something anyways! But when it gets into those acquaintance category people I think a line should be drawn.
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                #8 classadiva

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                  Posted 07 December 2009 - 07:46 PM

                  I absolutely think that 2nd time brides should have a shower!! We have a shower for each baby don't we? That was THEN and this is now. Let your friends and family celebrate this new chapter in your life with you. I have no problem coughing up the dough to pay for a gift for a second time bride. It expresses my happiness for her. If your attendants want to give you a shower....let them!!! Enjoy!!

                  #9 jamsmom

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                    Posted 07 December 2009 - 10:10 PM

                    Thank you ladies for all of the different ways to look at this. I didn't have a shower the first time around so we will see.

                    Thanks again.

                    #10 sweetiecat

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                      Posted 08 December 2009 - 12:42 AM

                      You could always have a "bridal luncheon" - just don't call it a shower and it won't have the connotation that gifts are required, thus no conflict. Most people will bring gifts anyway.

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