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Guest who invites other guests!?!


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#1 silverangel

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    Posted 25 November 2009 - 12:41 AM

    Ok, so I thought I was the least stressed bride ever until I find out that one of our guests has started to invite other guests! I would like to hear others opinions on this...

    Backstory: FI and I only wanted a small, intimate wedding, we planned a DW with 10 close people in mind. As it turns out we have 30 coming. So bigger than we envisioned, even though we only invited immediate family and the only friends are in the wedding party. It has been hard to tell other close friends sorry we are just having family only.

    There is one couple (friends) that we invited that weren't in the wedding party but she was to be our photographer until her work refused her vacation time. SO now he is still coming but has planned on bringing some friends!!!

    I understand he needs a roommate now that his wife can't come but to invite more than 1 is completely rude, when he knows we didn't invite any of our other friends!

    Am I crazy? or is this inconsiderate

    I guess I needed to get that off my chest and feel bad even thinking this but I'm still in shock that someone would do that...I am now making FI call him and tell him that we would appreciate him not inviting others to our wedding, as we have had a hard time ourselves telling OUR friends that they aren't invited let alone HIS!

    #2 classadiva

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      Posted 25 November 2009 - 01:28 AM

      I have been struggling with the same issue and started a thread about it last week...

      http://bestdestinati....someone-52131/

      #3 *Meagan*

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        Posted 25 November 2009 - 01:34 AM

        I personally don't think its an issue that he is inviting his friends to go on vacation. They don't have to come to your wedding and/or reception. But besides your special day the rest of the trip is a vacation for your guests and any one can go on vacation. I say the more the merrier! Good luck! :)

        There are also a few other threads on this. So check them out.

        #4 mlabbe

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          Posted 25 November 2009 - 03:08 AM

          Meagan is right - the difference is in whether he is inviting people to your wedding or just to a vacation. If he is inviting them to your actual wedding though, that it inconsiderate! Best of luck and hang in there, these kinds of things happen! FMIL keeps sending me addresses of people I don't know to invite, so I guess it's one giant boat and we're all in it!

          #5 silverangel

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            Posted 25 November 2009 - 01:22 PM

            Thanks for the input! It's just that we have other activities planned for the week so I feel I have to include his friends when we didn't include our own...

            I have to say I didn't get much sleep but I keep trying to remember that it will all work out :)

            #6 silverangel

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              Posted 25 November 2009 - 01:22 PM

              Thanks for the input! It's just that we have other activities planned for the week so I feel I have to include his friends when we didn't include our own...

              I have to say I didn't get much sleep but I keep trying to remember that it will all work out :)

              #7 bride2b10

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                Posted 25 November 2009 - 02:16 PM

                I think it's completely inappropriate and that your FI needs to talk to him. Especially if you are not inviting your own friends, in the hopes of keeping it small. I don't look at it as a random vacation and especially if you have other events planned throughout the week, you will have no choice but to include that person. Good luck!!
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                #8 *Lo*

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                  Posted 25 November 2009 - 02:47 PM

                  I think if the invite was for a guest plus one, then he should still be able to bring a plus one...however if he's inviting others to come on vacay with him, that's cool but you aren't expected to have them at your wedding or include them in the wedding activities. (In my opinion). You don't know them and it's a really small wedding. If you want to, that's cool.

                  An example: I think you could say to your friend, we are paying for the WEDDING GUESTS to go on a boat cruise, however it's for wedding guests, your friends are more than welcome if they pay their share.

                  I don't feel that is rude. It is more rude to invite others and assume they will be included.

                  #9 cbell

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                    Posted 25 November 2009 - 03:12 PM

                    I think it's inappropriate, it's a wedding, not an opportunity for your guests to invite their friends. It's cool if he needs a roomie but he shouldn't invite more than one person, can your FI tell him that? It's not the point of you paying for them but having his extra friends around makes it awkward.

                    I just got back from my wedding and it was great having family and friends at the resort. I'm thinking if one of my friends brought people I didn't know (assuming that's the case here?) it would irritate me, especially if I didn't like them. Let's face it one obnoxious person can get under your skin and ruin your good time, esp if you don't address it beforehand. This is your wedding so if you think it will bother you it more than likely will, I say talk to him and ask him just to limit it to 1 person. If he doesn't like it he won't go, sounds like you were mainly inviting him because of his wife anyway?

                    #10 Butterflyf369

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                      Posted 26 November 2009 - 12:59 AM

                      I'm not actually too concerned about it. One of my friends is inviting another couple and asked if I was ok with it. I said I was fine and the more the merrier. I guess it's important that they clear with you and make sure you're ok with it. Good luck.




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