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breakup or forgive & not forget


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#61 karenk77

karenk77
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    Posted 29 November 2009 - 05:55 PM

    Sick because its 3 mths away and my back & forth emotions stop me from moving forward with planning which is what i need to do lol
    we were doing great then one day i woke up pissed which happened to be thankgiving day and we went to his family where they were all talking wedding stuff and i got even madder, then this weekened was great UGH
    One day i'll figure myself out..one day! lol

    #62 *HOLLY*

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      Posted 29 November 2009 - 06:20 PM

      Sorry I came late on this. Ugh I know how you feel.
      For awhile A did the same thing. He would have bills or whatever and not tell me. He would get a lump of money and bam it was gone. I walked right up to him one day and said "I love you with all my heart but this hiding money and debt isnt going to fly" After that statement we both sat down and we over EVERYTHING. I mean that weekend we planned to have a night alone and pull out everything on the table.Yes you can have separate checking accounts and whatnot but once married to me you are in it together for the long run. I am not happy with my past and neither is A but we were both embarrassed and ashamed. After talking it has been 100% better. To this day I am balancing both our checking accounts. I let him take care of his savings in another bank because I told him that can be fun money and I can careless about it. As long as I know bills are getting paid I dont care.

      I really hope it keeps going in a great direction for you both. We all have issues and its how we work through them that make us stronger. Chin up. Just try and keep the line of communication open. I always try and let A know yeah you can screw up but dont leave me in the dark. If you leave me in the dark it will get worse lets work through it together.

      Huge hugs!

      #63 karenk77

      karenk77
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        Posted 29 November 2009 - 06:24 PM

        awwwwwwww thank you for that!!!!!!!!!!! really thank u so much for ur words scuba. and you have something which i wish i had, you seem non judgmental with stuff you may not agree with, i react first and then think later which is soooo bad..gotta work on that lol

        #64 *HOLLY*

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          Posted 29 November 2009 - 06:30 PM

          Trust me in the beginning I went off but after being with A I know jumping the gun isnt always smart. I have gained alot of patience with him :) It takes time but it comes and goes, hahaha

          #65 karenk77

          karenk77
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            Posted 29 November 2009 - 06:33 PM

            I know its not smart..but i still scream like a raging lunatic

            #66 *HOLLY*

            *HOLLY*
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              Posted 29 November 2009 - 06:47 PM

              HAHAHA I think that is the women in all of us. I still freak out but not as much

              #67 karenk77

              karenk77
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                Posted 29 November 2009 - 09:34 PM

                damn freakin estrogen

                #68 KarenM

                KarenM
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                  Posted 01 December 2009 - 01:14 AM

                  Hey K, I was away for turkey week but I just read through & am glad to hear you guys are working through this. The fact that you weren't willing to just walk away says a lot about both of you & I really respect you!

                  Of course you're going to have days where you wake up livid! You're still hurt by what he did and it's not just going to vanish because you decided not to leave his ass! :) It's more than understandable you'll go through good & bad days for a while. You're really learning to trust him again and that's not a linear process. But, like Holly said, keep the communication open & both of you try to work on your individual issues (raging like a lunatic, keeping secrets, whatever they are). Keep up the good fight girl!!




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