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Guest assumes they can bring someone


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#11 *kellis*

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    Posted 20 November 2009 - 12:13 AM

    I've been thinking about this a lot lately too. Obviously if someone is in a relationship the invitation will include their significant other. And there aren't many if any at all that are single and don't have friends that will also be attending. This seems like a good idea in my head however FI brought up the other day that his four groomsmen are all single so they may want to bring someone as a date. Correct me if I'm completely off on this but I don't want some random chick at our wedding(not to sound mean but I haven't really liked many of the ladies his friends are in the habit of "dating") and it seems really wrong that we would have to not invite some friends or family members to keep the list small but some person we don't even know and probably won't know for very long either is coming and we're paying 150+ for them to be there.

    Sucks that it comes across to FI that I just don't like his friends, its not my fault that all my bridesmaids(with the exception of my little sister who is 13 lol) are in relationships so of course I included their guys in our guest list and none of his close friends are dating anyone seriously.

    Ah the politics of weddings.
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    (Formerly "Future Mrs. Kt Ellis")

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    #12 sjmacphe

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      Posted 20 November 2009 - 01:09 AM

      I guess I understand that it is a cost issue...but for me I WANT all the single people to bring a +1 if they don't have a ton of friends coming. I just really care that my guests have a good time, it is a vacation for them - they are paying a lot of money to be there with us...I understand the situation (ie offending your extended family), but if you invite someone who is really close to you, I think they should be able to bring a plus one. If you're not that close to your extended family, how would they even know you didn't know the +1s anyway?

      #13 Raykel

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        Posted 20 November 2009 - 01:23 AM

        I agree with Tammy and Nadine and the others on here....if I was travelling to a destination wedding, I would be asking a friend to come along. It is pretty rare you would invite a guest to a wedding and ask them to go solo.

        We have been really lucky as far as tag alongs have gone. Friends have asked if their family/friend can book with us to get our deal - but immediately said they were just coming along to get the deal and would not assume they were a part of the wedding festivities. That made it easy on us because we have not had to tell them no. The only person I had to say no to was a cousin who was getting carried away who he thought I should be inviting, but he backed off right away when I told him that was not what [I]we[I] wanted.

        #14 midnight24

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          Posted 20 November 2009 - 02:52 AM

          we told all our guests that 'guests' were welcome to the destination wedding but only invited guests to our at home reception. i just asked they keep us informed on how many 'extra' people will be going on the trip. i know not everyone is going so if a few extra people show up we don't know i don't mind...it is a destination wedding at a resort with a bunch of strangers anyways!

          #15 classadiva

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            Posted 20 November 2009 - 03:29 AM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by sjmacphe
            I guess I understand that it is a cost issue...but for me I WANT all the single people to bring a +1 if they don't have a ton of friends coming. I just really care that my guests have a good time, it is a vacation for them - they are paying a lot of money to be there with us...I understand the situation (ie offending your extended family), but if you invite someone who is really close to you, I think they should be able to bring a plus one. If you're not that close to your extended family, how would they even know you didn't know the +1s anyway?
            It's not the extended family that would know...but our immediate family...the very same people that have requested that invites be extended to distant family members.

            Also, just wanted to add that as someone that has been a single most of my life, I've rarely received a wedding invite that included a guest...this is true even though I've been a bridesmaid six times...including at a destination wedding. I've never thought twice about it. Then again....I like to travel solo and have done it often. I'm finding that my expectations when it comes to my wedding is not necessarily the same as that of others. This has sure been a learning experience!!

            #16 *Meagan*

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              Posted 20 November 2009 - 03:35 AM

              I agree with Nadine as well. Im all about the "more the merrier". I think its the best way to go! I wouldnt want someone to travel all that way to our wedding and not be able to have a guest. Hope that helps!

              #17 sjmacphe

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                Posted 20 November 2009 - 03:50 AM

                Well in the end it's your decision and if you want to keep it really small I can understand that - as you mentioned we all have different ideas/expectations that others may not share and that is fine. It might be hard to tell those people who are coming and have already planned on bringing someone...maybe you could prevent it by stating it somewhere on your webpage. It's hard to put it gently - maybe something to the effect of wanting to keep this an intimate group, please do not invite extra guests (on the page where they RSVP)...Something a little more delicate than that could help solve your problem...

                #18 classadiva

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                  Posted 20 November 2009 - 03:52 AM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by future_mrs2010
                  I agree with Nadine as well. Im all about the "more the merrier". I think its the best way to go! I wouldnt want someone to travel all that way to our wedding and not be able to have a guest. Hope that helps!
                  LOL!!! Yes...it helps me to see that something I was pretty sure about is not that clear cut!! URGH!!

                  #19 *Meagan*

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                    Posted 20 November 2009 - 03:54 AM

                    Sorry Chicky!

                    #20 clfaidl2

                    clfaidl2
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                      Posted 20 November 2009 - 06:56 PM

                      I invited everyone assuming they could bring a guest. I just felt that if the role was switched and i had to shell out a lot of cash to go to someones wedding that I would want someone to go with me. Most people don't want to be the odd man out and to be honest I wont get to spend as much time as i would like with everyone that is attending the wedding...it is the honeymoon as well after all. So, I think it will make the guests more comfortable having someone they are comfortable with. If the role was switched, and I had to go and not take a guest I would not go. Is there any way you can get the guest amount extended?
                      ~Christina~




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