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Sister in law help!


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#31 Preciousmi811

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    Posted 20 November 2009 - 12:36 AM

    Girl I feel for you! I am going through the exact same thing and it is so irritating. I did the same thing helped her at her wedding through down lots of $$ and the bottom line is she is a spoiled brat just like your FSIL. My FSIL pulled the same crap started spreading lies, telling people I took her brother away from her? I said the same thing you did, WTF they don't even do lunch. I feel like a lot of people don't understand how manipulative spoiled sisters can be. Yes you wish you could honestly be happy for her and her pregnancy but with so much crap pulled you probably can't put it past her that she is trying to steal the attention and purposefully did this. My FSIL is trying to get preggos too probably for the same reason. This is the type of people they are.

    I, like you, have had the hardest time dealing with this and its so hard not to think every thing that they do has an agenda. The best advice I got is to not let her control your life and stop trying to include her in yours. I use to call and go over and visit alot but I have stopped and just let her be. I had to accept the fact if she has kids I probably wont be involved and thats ok. I can just send cards and hopefully when they are older they will want to get to know me. I don't talk to FMIL about the situation either and don't let family bring it up. Its the only way I can focus on my wedding. I have a feeling you and I will be doing alot of PMing!
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    #32 jo&delo2010

    jo&delo2010
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      Posted 20 November 2009 - 12:49 AM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by Preciousmi811
      Girl I feel for you! I am going through the exact same thing and it is so irritating. I did the same thing helped her at her wedding through down lots of $$ and the bottom line is she is a spoiled brat just like your FSIL. My FSIL pulled the same crap started spreading lies, telling people I took her brother away from her? I said the same thing you did, WTF they don't even do lunch. I feel like a lot of people don't understand how manipulative spoiled sisters can be. Yes you wish you could honestly be happy for her and her pregnancy but with so much crap pulled you probably can't put it past her that she is trying to steal the attention and purposefully did this. My FSIL is trying to get preggos too probably for the same reason. This is the type of people they are.

      I, like you, have had the hardest time dealing with this and its so hard not to think every thing that they do has an agenda. The best advice I got is to not let her control your life and stop trying to include her in yours. I use to call and go over and visit alot but I have stopped and just let her be. I had to accept the fact if she has kids I probably wont be involved and thats ok. I can just send cards and hopefully when they are older they will want to get to know me. I don't talk to FMIL about the situation either and don't let family bring it up. Its the only way I can focus on my wedding. I have a feeling you and I will be doing alot of PMing!
      haha - you hit it perfectly! She is very spoiled my FI has always said so. Im so glad to know that someone finally got it! I was kinda wondering if my friends were just on my side because they are my friends.

      Im kinda interested to see what she does for the wedding...lol
      Not even rain could ruin my wedding day!

      #33 Stina4242

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        Posted 04 January 2010 - 02:48 PM

        WOW! So my life too. My FI little sister is pregnant way too young... her and her BF celebrated there one year when she was almost 8 months pregnant. Anyways, they are planning on going after there baby is three months old! I talked them out of bringing him and was hoping the dad (who nobody likes) wouldn't go but they are planning on both going. I think this is insane to leave a three month old home while you go away!
        Since they are both in college and not living together most of the financial and physical responsibiliy will be falling on their mother. Still she got her an Itouch for Christmas.... even though she needs and can't afford maternity clothes (and the mom will end up buying these)! My FI got board games, HAHA! We don't ask for anything from her and she is just taking advantage and his mom is enabling her completly! It would be nice to get an offer for help once in awhile since we would actually appreciate it and not be expecting and relying on it!
        I hope the best for both of us!

        #34 Kapabel

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          Posted 05 January 2010 - 02:35 AM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by Stina4242
          WOW! So my life too. My FI little sister is pregnant way too young... her and her BF celebrated there one year when she was almost 8 months pregnant. Anyways, they are planning on going after there baby is three months old! I talked them out of bringing him and was hoping the dad (who nobody likes) wouldn't go but they are planning on both going. I think this is insane to leave a three month old home while you go away!
          Since they are both in college and not living together most of the financial and physical responsibiliy will be falling on their mother. Still she got her an Itouch for Christmas.... even though she needs and can't afford maternity clothes (and the mom will end up buying these)! My FI got board games, HAHA! We don't ask for anything from her and she is just taking advantage and his mom is enabling her completly! It would be nice to get an offer for help once in awhile since we would actually appreciate it and not be expecting and relying on it!
          I hope the best for both of us!
          Wouldn't it be better if they brought the baby...? I mean, you say you talked them out of bringing him but at the same time you think it's insane to leave a three-month old at home? Or did I misunderstand something..?

          #35 clfaidl2

          clfaidl2
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            Posted 28 February 2010 - 08:26 AM

            I'm sorry you are dealing with this stress. It sounds like the issues in the past with previous statements and things she did caused some difficult situations. Just try to remember it's your day! Don't let anything spoil it. If anything happens, take it with a grain of salt. Don't do anything you will regret....remember she will be family!

            That being said.....I don't think you should be mad at her for getting pregnant again. That was a hard thing she had to go through in dealing with the miscarriage. It is her life after all and i think you should be happy to soon be an aunt.

            Good luck with everything and I hope everything goes perfectly with the wedding!
            ~Christina~

            #36 roo66

            roo66
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            • 1,001 posts

              Posted 28 February 2010 - 09:28 AM

              Girls throughout most of these posts money rears its ugly head.I would not try to buy her friendship at all.It seems that you have tried very hard to get her on board,and now is the time to back off.
              As a mum of three myself i try very hard to treat them the same,I know im not always great at it.I know my mum and dad have helped me much more than my brother and we lost my sister at 13 ive been married twice before so theyve had all the worry from that as well.
              Be happy that she is pregnant miscarriage is devastating and wanting to become pregnant is like switching a light on its a wierd feeling that you will only understand when it happens to you.Its not always at a time that fits in with your own life plan let alone anyone elses.
              Be sure to offer her your friendship as a SIL not as your best buddy dont arrange baby showers you dont want to hold it against her later on down the line.
              She is very early on in her pregnancy,continue to include her, If she comes choose a dress that she can grow into I really wouldnt ask her if shes going to still be a bridesmaid let her bring it up and then say look if you dont want to be stood up in all the heat you wont be offended.
              Im just thinking a really sweet cheap idea is to get her a parasol with M2B on it. Sit her to the side you wont have everyone asking f shes too hot cos youve been really sweet and surprized her with an individual gift that has showed you at your thoughtful best.
              Sometimes we have to kill with kindness BUT it dosent have to cost a fortune to be effective.
              Do you have any thing planned to include your dear mum for sure she is watching you and on your wedding day she will be smiling with pride at the beautiful person she helped create.Enjoy your wedding planning xxx Take care xxxx Maria xxx

              #37 CJHANNAN2011

              CJHANNAN2011
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                Posted 28 February 2010 - 04:05 PM

                I have some horrible drama with my future sister in law also! She was going to be my bridesmaid and we used to be very close but she talked alot of crap behind my FI and I's backs about us getting married and caused some other drama in my FI's family. He doesnt want her at the wedding and either do I. We addressed the invite to His brother and nephew only. Sounds kind of mean but it will be better for us that way. It is your day and your wedding so do what you want!

                #38 jo&delo2010

                jo&delo2010
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                  Posted 07 March 2010 - 03:58 PM

                  I havent been on in awhile so since I started this..I figured I would give an update!

                  My SIL did not attend my bridal shower instead she and her husb. booked a cruise.

                  My next event is my bach/bday which she doesnt reply to my other bridesmaids emails or rsvp on evite.

                  I found out the sex of the baby via facebook and her cuz called my hubby to be to tell him.

                  I'm telling you she is a spoiled brattttttt
                  Not even rain could ruin my wedding day!

                  #39 jo&delo2010

                  jo&delo2010
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                    Posted 14 March 2010 - 02:06 PM

                    New update !

                    MY HUBBY TO BE TOLD HIS PARENTS THE SIL IS NOT ALLOWED TO BE IN THE WEDDING PARTY AND HE WLD PREFER HER NOT TO GO AT ALL!

                    He said he is tired of her always stealing the spotlight and that for once its his turn! I think my mouth hit the floor when i heared him say that. Thank god i never had to say anything to him...he figured it out himself
                    Not even rain could ruin my wedding day!

                    #40 jo&delo2010

                    jo&delo2010
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                      Posted 15 March 2010 - 12:43 AM

                      Quote:
                      Originally Posted by CJHANNAN2011
                      I have some horrible drama with my future sister in law also! She was going to be my bridesmaid and we used to be very close but she talked alot of crap behind my FI and I's backs about us getting married and caused some other drama in my FI's family. He doesnt want her at the wedding and either do I. We addressed the invite to His brother and nephew only. Sounds kind of mean but it will be better for us that way. It is your day and your wedding so do what you want!
                      Good for you!
                      Not even rain could ruin my wedding day!




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