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Biggest Destination Wedding Stress factor - what's yours?


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#71 jo&delo2010

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    Posted 19 November 2009 - 03:08 PM

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by KittenHeart
    I have this issue too!! My sister in law is due next week, one of my BEST FRIENDS planned the whole trip and found out she was pregnant and due 2 days before my wedding. It's so hard being happy for people when you're disappointed in the circumstance.

    Also, one of my bridesmaid's husbands is constantly telling her he's going to get her pregnant and I hate to have to be weary of this!!!
    lol - does'nt this just seem to get better by the day! I even started a thread SIL help lol I have been told that I should'nt care if she's prego, I should be happy, that I'm focused to much on her, that her pregnancy will overshadow my wedding but I should'nt even care. I got put in my place really quick lol oh oh and because she had a miscarriage (which she doesnt know that I know about because she didnt tell me) that I should be more understanding. If you dont tell me anything, why should I act any different? I was even told this day isnt about me. I kinda thought it was lol

    In a way all the comments have helped even if I dont agree with all of them. In the end Im gonna look great in my dress and have a great time drinking when she cant.

    My Mother in law also told me to stop loosing weight! You would think I had an eating disorder by the speech she gave me..lol It's not my fault your daughter didnt loose weight for her wedding and it upset you...I'm healthy, happy and know that the time is now to take care of myself! Esp. when we plan to have a kid its very important to be in shape.

    ok..i have vented enough..lol
    Not even rain could ruin my wedding day!

    #72 jo&delo2010

    jo&delo2010
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      Posted 19 November 2009 - 03:23 PM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by Positanobride10
      My biggest stress factor has been worrying about my dogs and graduate school. I have two boxers and my Fiance doesn't want to board them since we'll be out of the country for 3 weeks. All of my friends are married and some have kids so they would not be able to come house sit. My vet told me to call her when were are a few months out to see if there was a vet tech who could house/dog sit. Also, I am getting my MBA. Planning a wedding, dieting (to get just 5 lbs off), working full-time and going to school at night is hard. But I think it will be worth it. I am also trying to stay positive about finding someone to stay with my fur babies.

      All of my guests have been family and a few friends. Getting them to book was easy. I did all the research and gave them options on our private website. To my surprise everyone has plane tickets to Rome, and plans on meeting us there to site see and travel to Positano together. I was shocked that this fell into place. I anticipated this being the biggest stress factor.
      My english bulldog (Rebus) is 9 months old and he is my baby! My clients husb is our vet and she told me she had a great pet sitter. I trust her opinion but this is my son..lol So I decided that I needed to go see this pet sitter and where my baby would be staying. You never know what kind of people they could be...lol I also decided that he should stay there for a weekend to see how he would do without mommy and daddy.

      To make a long story short when I dropped him off for the weekend ..he didnt even look back at me! lol

      When we picked him up...we both went inside and he didnt even notice us..lol Sad but true he likes her dogs better then us...lol Needless to say i feel 100 percent comfortable leaving him there for our wedding now! I also found out she works at our vet as well...so to me that is the best! She is kinda $$ $30 a day

      I worried about him more when I had a friend stay at our house to watch him ..then I did leaving him with her. I would go to the vet techs house and check it out, at least you know that they love dogs,esp if they work at your vet :)
      Not even rain could ruin my wedding day!

      #73 KittenHeart

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        Posted 19 November 2009 - 03:29 PM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by lalanyc
        OMG I'm so sorry to hear that about your mom and brother! I can't comprehend behavior like that from a parent no less At the end of the day, what's important is that you and your new hubby are together but still. I really hope they come around for you!
        Thank you very much! I agree but if I let it get to me really at all I'll totally lose it so I'm really trying to be insoucient about the whole matter.

        I can say planning a wedding has made me a lot stronger if anything, haha!

        #74 jo&delo2010

        jo&delo2010
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          Posted 19 November 2009 - 03:31 PM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by KittenHeart
          Haha I know right! She assures me she won't let him knock her up until afterwards but that's not too easy to control when not on birth control.

          Yeah my MOH has two kids as well and is trying to figure out all these difficult alternatives and staying in a timeshare etc. Drives me mad.

          Extended family hasn't responded at all to anything I've sent out, fine, my mom and brother don't have the money and don't seem like they want to come. I told my mother I'd pay for the entire trip and a new bathings suit as well to see what she'd say and her response is, "well, I don't like flying either." So I'm thinking she doesn't want to come. It's terribly upsetting to me but if she doesn't want to be there, why should I force her and waste my own money. My father passed away years ago so he's really the only one with a legitimate excuse :)
          I dont know if you would be interested but I ordered a charm with a pic of my mom and I to attach to my boquet for the wedding. I'ts small, really pretty, a nice keepsake, and it was made really well (not cheap looking) . I ordered it from exclusivelyweddings.com in the memorial items section.

          None of my extended family has even said a word! Eventhough they are all on my facebook! They didnt even say anything about my invitation which were really nice and different. Oh well!
          Not even rain could ruin my wedding day!

          #75 echo2_62

          echo2_62
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            Posted 19 November 2009 - 04:19 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by Positanobride10
            My biggest stress factor has been worrying about my dogs and graduate school. I have two boxers and my Fiance doesn't want to board them since we'll be out of the country for 3 weeks. All of my friends are married and some have kids so they would not be able to come house sit. My vet told me to call her when were are a few months out to see if there was a vet tech who could house/dog sit. Also, I am getting my MBA. Planning a wedding, dieting (to get just 5 lbs off), working full-time and going to school at night is hard. But I think it will be worth it. I am also trying to stay positive about finding someone to stay with my fur babies.

            All of my guests have been family and a few friends. Getting them to book was easy. I did all the research and gave them options on our private website. To my surprise everyone has plane tickets to Rome, and plans on meeting us there to site see and travel to Positano together. I was shocked that this fell into place. I anticipated this being the biggest stress factor.
            I have a boxer too!!!! They're the best! We aren't even sure what we're going to do with her yet. Although we're only gone for ten days and not three weeks, any of our friends who could normally take care of her will be in Mexico with us! She can't be kenneled either as she's not social with other dogs so basically our only option is to have someone stay at our house with her. I'm secretly hoping that one of our friends who is NOT able to make it to the wedding will be willing to help us out :) I'm always nervous about leaving her with someone though, even though I've had to do it for five weeks at a time due to work reasons. I'm totally the doggie-momma who will be calling home every other day to make sure she is okay!!

            Oh and by the way - I am TOTALLY jealous that you're going to Italy and Rome for your wedding! That is amazing! I know that only a small, small handful of our friends would be able to pull off that kind of DW with us so it wasn't really an option. Agh! Very jealous!!! :)

            #76 lalanyc

            lalanyc
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              Posted 19 November 2009 - 04:25 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by creoletexan
              My biggest stressor is my mom.
              ** BE PREPARED FOR LONG RANT **

              1) She calls my younger brother, who stays with me, and goes on and on about how it's a recession and no one can afford to come to the Bahamas, and that NO one on her side of the family is coming, and that I should just have it in Baton Rouge, LA. Which is strange, because my uncle, her younger brother, is already making plans to go. My grandmother bought a $1400 stove last month... yes just the stove was $1400. Then she takes it one step further just to be spiteful and says that no one is going to come to my wedding including the bridal party. She doesn't even know who is in the bridal party. My brother tells her that the bridal party is staying with us in the beach house and has already paid their deposit, and then she is once again speechless. Then he tells her that my aunt, my dad's sister, is coming, and when she finds out she's coming, then she says she might come but she has to check her finances. She can come because my aunt is coming, but she can't come because I AM HER ONLY DAUGHTER. Just LAST month, she was going car shopping for a new car, because her MERCEDES was acting up, and she has TWO other vehicles that she barely drives. My younger brother has been with me since July, so she hasn't had to pay his $400 rent and give him money for food. Then, she asks about my husband's side of the family, and my brother, I don't know why, told her that we were paying for my FIL to come and he's staying a week in the Bahamas in the Beach House with us and watching my son. He's 66, retired, and doesn't care, he's just happy to go to the Bahamas and spending time with his grandson is a BONUS. My FIL raised my husband by himself so of course my husband is going to make sure his dad is there. Then she was like, maybe if she paid for me, I would come...now she's jealous. My FIL lives on Social Security and in no way could afford to come on his own, plus he is the Best Man. My mom is a software engineer and gets paid more than I do. She has failed to realize that I could care LESS if she came, and would rather prefer if she didn't, because I don't need her negativity and selfishness. She can either continue to b***h and get uninvited or just save her money, come to the Bahamas, and shut it up!

              wow, I feel so lucky my mom has been supportive throughout this process! I just cant understand these kinds of attitudes!!!! I'm so sorry. It seems you'd be best off just ignoring her (and her remarks) and focusing on everyone else. Maybe maybe then your radio silence will force her to conform or (as you want!) convince her not to go at all!

              #77 KittenHeart

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              • 3,103 posts

                Posted 19 November 2009 - 04:27 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by jo&delo2010
                lol - does'nt this just seem to get better by the day! I even started a thread SIL help lol I have been told that I should'nt care if she's prego, I should be happy, that I'm focused to much on her, that her pregnancy will overshadow my wedding but I should'nt even care. I got put in my place really quick lol oh oh and because she had a miscarriage (which she doesnt know that I know about because she didnt tell me) that I should be more understanding. If you dont tell me anything, why should I act any different? I was even told this day isnt about me. I kinda thought it was lol

                In a way all the comments have helped even if I dont agree with all of them. In the end Im gonna look great in my dress and have a great time drinking when she cant.

                My Mother in law also told me to stop loosing weight! You would think I had an eating disorder by the speech she gave me..lol It's not my fault your daughter didnt loose weight for her wedding and it upset you...I'm healthy, happy and know that the time is now to take care of myself! Esp. when we plan to have a kid its very important to be in shape.

                ok..i have vented enough..lol
                LOL!! This cracked me up!!

                I had my FI's alcoholic aunt (who I've never met, talked to or even know what she looks like) who booked and decided to go and then decided to not go all in a week, wrote me a wall post on my Facebook saying that she heard I was on some fitness program and that I should just be happy and buy a dress that fits me instead of trying to fit into a dress (which I never mentioned anything of the sort and I don't even have weight to lose, I just like working out) and that I should talk to my FI (she even spelled his name right) or seek councelling on th matter... so nothing suprises me with people anymore, it's like you say "we're getting married" and the freak show begins.



                #78 KittenHeart

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                • Sr. Member
                • 3,103 posts

                  Posted 19 November 2009 - 04:32 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by jo&delo2010
                  I dont know if you would be interested but I ordered a charm with a pic of my mom and I to attach to my boquet for the wedding. I'ts small, really pretty, a nice keepsake, and it was made really well (not cheap looking) . I ordered it from exclusivelyweddings.com in the memorial items section.

                  None of my extended family has even said a word! Eventhough they are all on my facebook! They didnt even say anything about my invitation which were really nice and different. Oh well!
                  That's a wonderful suggestion! That actually might make me feel better to be honest, thank you I'm looking at the website right now.

                  Yep, all my extended family is on Facebook as well and said nothing. I slaved over my save the dates and was actually so upset no one said anything, I bought cheap invites to send them instead of my fancy passport ones :)

                  #79 creoletexan

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                    Posted 19 November 2009 - 09:02 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by lalanyc
                    wow, I feel so lucky my mom has been supportive throughout this process! I just cant understand these kinds of attitudes!!!! I'm so sorry. It seems you'd be best off just ignoring her (and her remarks) and focusing on everyone else. Maybe maybe then your radio silence will force her to conform or (as you want!) convince her not to go at all!
                    Exactly, but because of her I'd probably be the polar opposite. The Booster Club mom on the sideline of my son's football games telling the other to "DON'T HURT MY BABY!!" complete with the banner with his football picture on it..lol

                    #80 JNL2011

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                      Posted 20 November 2009 - 04:10 AM

                      So far, the biggest stress factory is picking a resort that is going to be beautiful and that doesnt cost everyone a arm and a leg to go. The date is till far away so im sure ill have many stress factors. But very glad to have this site to not feel so alone.




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