| Originally Posted by simba1234 |
I have one friend who made me feel like crap this past weekend but then I snapped out of it and realized SHE's the selfish one. It's very convenient for people to jump in their car and go to your LOCAL wedding because it's just a party with FREE food and alcohol...it's EASY and it's CONVENIENT. BUt the second they have to go the extra mile and step out of their comfort zone to be there for YOUR special day it becomes too dificult.
I think they're the selfish ones for putting that on you.... it's YOUR day - You're supposed to be selfish and do it your way. To me this wedding has been a great way to weed out the people who don't need to be there in the first place but I would "have" to put up with if the wedding was local. As far as I'm concerned the people who REALLY matter will be there and everyone else can kiss it. All the people who I'm really close to, love and will make that day special have said they will be there no matter what and they are super excited. Those are the kind of people I want in my wedding and my life.
Don't let anyone make you feel like crap about how you decide to celebrate the biggest day of your life.
I TOTALLY agree. My "friend" who I asked to be maid of honor got mad at me. I asked her to stand up with my and she acted like she would do ANYTHING to be there, which I thought was weird because she's getting her masters and I understand she doesn't have a lot of time or money. BUT she's my oldest friend and was the obvious choice for a MOH. A couple months later (AFTER I flew her to see me to go dress shopping) she looks up prices and calls me to tell me she can't come (this was ELEVEN months prior to the wedding mind you). I told her that I had thought that initially since I know how much she has going on and that she doesn't have a job (therefore, money). She got really at me for saying that I assumed she wouldn't go. Well, wtf? I didn't want to get mad AT HER for not going or make her feel guilty or like I expected her to go into debt for me. What did she want from me?!
Later she emails me about how i'm a different person and she thinks it was a mistake on her part to be my friend in the first place if i'm going to do something like that. And how dare I have a wedding where friends and family can't attend. Then my brother got mad at me for it too - telling me I was being selfish and all that. My aunt laid the guilt trip on because my grandmother was 89, I was the first grandchild to get married and my grandma wouldn't be there to see it. My grandma wouldn't even have know what was going on and as it turns out, she passed away 3 weeks ago so it's not even an issue anymore. (not that I don't LOVE my grandma and wish she could have been there, but I would liked to have had her there and KNOWN what was going on).
With all that said, YES it stresses me out when people do or say those things. But in the end, I know that those who love me WILL be there. And if you're going to throw that kind of tantrum, I don't want you there anyway. One of my favorite sayings is "Be yourself. Because those who matter don't mind. And those who mind, don't matter"