Ok. from the old lady that has been through this before many, many years ago and is silly enough to do it again when I'm this old...
you're going to be in charge once the reception gets going. you'll be at the head table. if you can stick the parents at a separate table even if you have to use the excuse that the resort policy is that the tables are smaller so parents can't be at the same table with you. unless someone starts a speech, or speeches, just don't do any. don't open up an opportunity for any. is she the type of person that doesn't mind looking stupid? would she stand up all by herself? let everyone else know that you aren't doing speeches, ones you know who will respect your wishes. if she stands up on her own, get someone to cut her off, either by changing the subject or set up a signal with someone you trust to start tapping their glass for you guys to kiss right in the middle of her talking. that will definitely shut her up.
as to the dancing, tell your FI to wait until you're dancing with someone else to go over and ask his mom to dance. there isn't any law that says it has to be in a specific order. so just do your own thing and when the opportunity presents itself, he can go ask her to dance. make sure your dj knows that you aren't dancing with your dad. believe me - that's no big deal either. if people are rude enough orignorant enough to make comments or ask questions tell them it's none of their business. which is the absolute truth.
and finally ladies - don't worry about what everyone else thinks. I know it's hard when you've had financial help in terms of planning the wedding. the people that pay think they have a say in it. the comment to that is that's fine. when you get home you'll pay back the money. that generally shuts people up because it makes them feel guilty. you emphasize that it's YOUR wedding and that there are certain things that you want and don't want. and if they can't agree with it, they can just stay home!! it's your wedding. enjoy it!! and if you have to, be blunt and tell the offending person that if they aren't willing to cooperate, then you don't want them there. when someone has paid that much money for a trip, they generally think twice if there is a chance they might lose the money because you tell them you don't want them there.
hope this helps. everyone is stressed at this stage because your wedding is so close. if she's driving you to drink, then go ahead and have one and beat her to it!!!
Originally Posted by katelynn
Okay girls I need some advice from all of you about something...
My FMIL is being a total crazy lady right now and she is driving me to drink..seriously!
My FI and I decided months ago that we didnt want speeches at our wedding, and when we told her this she got all angry. She now has bugged us like 5 times about it, she doesnt take NO for an answer! She is the type of person to make everything about her, I cant even count the amount of times I have heard its her 40th wedding anniversary this year. Further, at her other sons wedding a couple of years ago she made their speeches all about them and my FI brother is still mad about it. She doesnt get the hint that we have told her NO sooo many times and keeps bringing it up, so what to do?!
My father and I do not get along, we never have and never will, therefore I dont want to do a father daughter dance. To make things worse we are not on speaking terms right now as we got in a fight the last time I was visiting. My FMIL is now demanding that she have a dance with my FI and is driving me crazy about it as she knows about my relationship with my dad, and therefore I think she should respect my wishes on the wedding day.....however not so much!
So, I really dont know what to do as she has said already she has helped pay and therefore she should have a say, but at the same time ITS OUR WEDDING! My FI has already spoken to her but I am thinking next week when we go back home to get ready we should sit down and talk with her about it??
any suggestions ladies to deal with FMILzilla?