I need to vent & get some moral support :(
Posted 02 November 2009 - 03:36 PM
The most stressful part of the wedding has been the bridal party because I don't want to hurt any feelings.
My oldest friend & I have been friends for 19 years and I was her maid of honor 6 years ago. But in recent years we have grown apart. About 10 years ago she introduced me to my other friend who I am lot closer to now. I would like this other friend to be my MOH but I don't want to hurt/offend my older friend. I really can't choose between the two of them.
My real choice for a 'maid of honor' would be my guy cousin who I am really close to...he's really like my brother & best friend. He's the person I cried to when I had boy problems or any kind of stress in my life. He's the person I confide in and trust. He's also really close to my FI. If he were a girl he would DEFINETLY be my maid of honor without a doubt. I've been thinking about making him my 'man of honor'. I was also a bridesmaid in his wedding. I really wish he were a girl because this would be so much easier
The other problem is that my aunt called my mom the other day to ask that her only son (my younger cousin) be included in the wedding party because he's "always wanted to be a groomsmen" and he never gets chosen. I really don't believe he feels that way because I honestly don't think guys care about stuff like that. This cousin is one of my younger cousins and I feel weird including him and not my other cousin who I grew up with and have always been close to. I don't want to include both because my FI already has enough GM. I'm so annoyed that my aunt even asked my mom to include her son... it's putting extra pressure on me that I don't need.
Those are my two options...chose one friend and hurt the other who has been my friend for more years and introduced us. OR choose my guy cousin who is really my best friend more than any of my girl friends BUT then I upset my aunt.
I've lost sleep over this. My aunt is a really sweet woman who I love dearly so I don't want to upset her. She's a breast cancer survivor and I think that experience has made her more sensitive than she ever was. Part of me is still upset that she is even putting me in this position instead of letting me do what I want. My aunt is also giving me a very generous gift ( a couple of thousand $$) that I now feel guilty taking if I put my other cousin in the party and not her son. I also don't know how to decline the gift without offending her.
I just don't know what to do. I just needed to vent and get some moral support
Posted 02 November 2009 - 03:56 PM
Good luck! Try not to let this ruin your planning process!
Posted 02 November 2009 - 04:00 PM
Good luck! Feel free to vent here any time
Posted 02 November 2009 - 04:08 PM
| Originally Posted by flbluiiis |
Those are two hard spots to be in. Have you ever mentioned anything to your cousin about being a "man of honor" or seeing how he would feel about it? Obviously, I have no idea how he would feel about it, but I think if someone asked my brothers to be their "man of honor" they would probably say no cause they would feel weird. If he would feel comfortable doing it...then it could solve both your questions. You could ask both of your cousins to be in the wedding because then there would be another person for your side and another for your FI's side. AND you could have both your girlfriends on your side of the wedding party but not have to hurt any feelings between them.
Good luck! Feel free to vent here any time
Posted 02 November 2009 - 04:16 PM
Posted 02 November 2009 - 04:30 PM
Posted 02 November 2009 - 05:04 PM
As for your two girlfriends, I think that if you can explain your dilemma to them, they should understand. It is difficult to choose between the long-time friends who you may not see as much and the right-now friends who you see all the time but it sounds like they would know you well enough to realize that you aren't trying to favour one over the other. Although my sister is mostly recognized as my maid of honour, I don't think I ever officially stated that, simply because I felt that if the girls were in my wedding party at all then they didn't need a ranking or title beyond that.
Posted 02 November 2009 - 05:10 PM
Posted 02 November 2009 - 05:37 PM
i think you should have your cousin as your man of honour.if you really want to involve your younger cousin can you not just think of a job for him to do just so he feels involved? how old is he?
just think things will be sorted there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Posted 02 November 2009 - 05:58 PM
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