What to do about guests who assume they are invited?
Posted 28 October 2009 - 12:47 AM
We had an engagement party with about 150 people. In a lot of cases, if we were going to invite my FI's close friends, and the friend's parents, we would also invite their siblings (and partners).
Now I am not a fan of one of my FI's close friend's Brother's girlfirends (can you guys follow this??) but they have assumed that they are invited to the wedding and is gushing about how excited she is for the holiday in Fiji to anyone that will listen.
So not only would I be not inviting her to our wedding, I would also be uninviting her from a holiday that she is really excited about.
She may not be my favorite person, but the main dilemma is that she is detested by some people in our circle of friends, and I would most definately kill her if I was stuck in the same resort as her for a whole week. They were only invited to the engagement party in the first place as his brother and parents were invited - and despite the fact that my FI and I don't really know them that well, we just thought it would be a nice gesture.
So what do you do? Crush her and cause awkwardness at social gatherings in the future - or have someone at your wedding that noone really likes and has no real connection to you and your partner (paying for them at the wedding, and welcome dinner, and afterparty bbq and welcome home party)?
Posted 28 October 2009 - 06:53 AM
I don't know how much contact you have with her if you could just not send out an invite to her and just ignore her when in her company. I just hate ugly confrontations and the BS aftermath. Sorry I may not have been much help, What is that wedding show with the wedding cordinator Jane somebody with three wishes. Wedding SOS we all should have three wishes.
Posted 28 October 2009 - 09:00 AM
Posted 28 October 2009 - 09:20 AM
We actually had family that was expecting to come and/or be invited however FI and I had no intentions of doing that because it would put us WAY over our limit on people. Of course a lot of the details were given to them by my FMIL and not us in the first place. We didn't want to go so far as saying 'NO you're not invited' so I deliberately told my FMIL specifically who I had sent invitations to and made no further mention of the other family. It seems to have worked because no one has commented since!
Posted 29 October 2009 - 09:58 AM
Posted 29 October 2009 - 01:41 PM
If you could you could email her explaining that you are wanting to keep the wedding small and unfortunately you can't accomodate everyone. Personally I don't think you should have anyone at your wedding that you don't want there. In my case I have to vacation with these people for a week so I wanted to make sure it's people that I want to be with, not people that I'm forced to be with. Good luck!
Posted 31 October 2009 - 10:16 PM
Posted 02 November 2009 - 08:18 PM
Posted 02 November 2009 - 08:50 PM
Just don't send an invite. Your FI's close friend can explain it to his brother and his GF if it becomes an issue. If you don't socialize with them, I wouldn't expect to be invited either. It's kind of odd!
And I don't think it's an etiquette rule that people invited to the engagement party are also invited to the wedding. If it is, it's an old rule and it SUCKS! AHAHA
Posted 06 November 2009 - 11:53 PM
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