Jump to content


Is it rude not to plan the entire weekend for my guests?

  • Please log in to reply
32 replies to this topic

#21 sportsdog2

  • Newbie
  • 87 posts

    Posted 12 November 2009 - 09:38 PM

    No, it is not rude. I have probably over planned for my guests. We have a welcome dinner the day everyone arrives, the wedding, and I sent them information on the various excursions/trips. My FI said I did too much because the excursion planning was a bit stressful. My guests decided what they wanted to do, and I booked group trips based on their interests with a local tour company. Those who wanted to go let me know, and those who do not are free to relax at the resort. I just wanted to give them the option, let them know what to expect in terms of $, and help out some of my guests who do not travel much. I think it will work out OK, but we do not plan to spend every moment with our guests. It's their vacation and we want them to enjoy it.

    #22 bahiabride2010

    • Member
    • 997 posts

      Posted 12 November 2009 - 11:06 PM

      We're thinking of a Catamaran Half Day trip for everyone but other than that most likely just welcome drinks in the lobby bar! I know we'll have lots of time to spend together but also know that a lot of people of taking this as a vacation for themselves! No need to overschedule! I might include on the internary optional morning walks, pool bar meeting, etc. Just to be fun but not to be too serious about it all! :)

      #23 wemkulaf

      • Jr. Member
      • 190 posts

        Posted 12 November 2009 - 11:12 PM

        I am keeping it simple also. Only time I am asking everyone to get together is ti give out OOT bags, and that is not going to be formal. I am thinking we can all meet at paticular bar at a certain time and say a little Thank You speech and hand out the bags.

        #24 CristiandJamie

        • Jr. Member
        • 445 posts

          Posted 12 June 2010 - 01:50 PM

          I'm bumping up this thread since I have some questions on the same line.

          I have some events planned for people but I hope that they dont feel like I should be entertaining them 24/7 while we are down there.

          We have a welcome with cocktails when folks arrive then doing a spa day on Friday afternoon (optional) then a rehearsal/ welcome dinner that Friday night.

          On Sat. we have the ceremony, cocktail reception then a private dinner.

          For the past brides, did your guest expect you to do everything for them book tours, entertain them inbetween events I dont know why but all of sudden I'm worring about that!

          I really want people to enjoy their vacation and feel free to do what they want (with or without us).
          Cristi & Jamie
          http://img.weddingco...er/7nhul9k2.png32 guests including Bride and Groom... and counting

          #25 JanineA

          • Sr. Member
          • 2,482 posts

            Posted 12 June 2010 - 03:40 PM

            I don't think it is rude at all. In fact I had a few friends call and tell me "Please don't plan out an itinerary, we are travelling to be at your wedding but would really appreciate some time to enjoy it as a vacation as well". Enough said! That made life alot easier for me. I think you'll find that guests will find things on their own to occupy themselves. I have to agree with Danielle and Abbie many of your guests will be using this as their vacation time and may have things they want to do.

            #26 MDLady

            • Jr. Member
            • 433 posts

              Posted 14 June 2010 - 11:44 AM

              Originally Posted by KimmyD
              HELP! I am really not very good at planning events and I really wanted to elope, but my FI really wants to do a destination wedding. I was wondering if it would be rude to just give guests the OOT bags, have an informal welcome dinner and a simple ceremony? I see people doing programs and itinerary's etc... We have both been married before and feel that we just want a simple beach ceremony.

              No way!! That's exactly what we did at our wedding and everyone chose their own activities based on their interests. Some just lounged at the beach, others did water sports, some did sightseeing, etc etc. People's interests vary so much that it's virtually impossible to get a group consensus.

              We had a Fri night bar meet-up for those who wanted to meet up.
              We had a Welcome Dinner for everyone on Sat.
              We had the wedding on a Sunday.

              I started thinking of planning a group activity but I'm glad that my FI talked me out of it because it would have been extremely painful w/ 45 people there, including kids and older folks. We did get together with people here and there for various activities when time permitted but they chose what they wanted to do, not us! What you planned is perfectly fine so don't stress about it :)

              #27 Maegan606

              • Newbie
              • 115 posts

                Posted 14 June 2010 - 12:29 PM

                It's not rude at all!! In fact, I think most people would rather that they decide what they do for the weekend, rather than being told. I'm leaving my guests to decide for the most part- and I am letting them know what we are doing if they do want to join.

                #28 MDLady

                • Jr. Member
                • 433 posts

                  Posted 14 June 2010 - 01:43 PM

                  Originally Posted by CristiandJamie
                  For the past brides, did your guest expect you to do everything for them book tours, entertain them inbetween events I dont know why but all of sudden I'm worring about that!

                  I really want people to enjoy their vacation and feel free to do what they want (with or without us).
                  Not at all, nobody expected us to have tours booked for them. Everyone wanted to know what times we had planned activities (I included the schedule in their welcome bag) and everyone planned their own activities around those few scheduled events. Don't worry about that at all. That's the last thing you should be stressing about when planning a wedding :) Just include a brochure or smth for the guests so they can pick their own activities at whatever date/time is convenient for them.

                  #29 hat0112

                  • Sr. Member
                  • 1,219 posts

                    Posted 14 June 2010 - 03:03 PM

                    I don’t think you need to plan out events for your guests. Your guests are paying a lot of money to be at the wedding and they might want to try and get a vacation out of it, but if there are too many events planned, they might feel obligated to go. The only events we are doing are the welcome dinner, the ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception. We have mentioned to some guests we are doing a dinner/bar crawl that they have in Aruba that we were told was something you have to do, but we aren’t having it as an event. Everyone going to the wedding has never been to Aruba so I know that they all want to do things and explore on their own even though I know we will probably be spending a lot of time with our guests anyway.
                    Wedding 10/22/10 Westin Aruba

                    I love being a Mrs.!

                    #30 torywedd

                    • Jr. Member
                    • 169 posts

                      Posted 15 June 2010 - 12:16 AM

                      IMO....i think it is totally ok not to have a planned intenerary, since our guests have already paid to come to our wedding we aren't going to plan every part of their vacation (while they r there for our wedding, it is ultimately their vacation) so we are going to give them a list of other activities and its would b left up to them if they wanted to do so

                      0 user(s) are reading this topic

                      0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users