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michelle6114

let's start a MIL from hell thread

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Thanks so much for the advice! I am going to call our TA tomorrow and see if we can change hotels and we will definitely not tell anyone!!! I love this board, so nice to have some support : )

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Well MIL issues aside, I think it's a great idea. We were kinda bored of our resort 2 days into the second week and would have liked a change of scenery.

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I am so lucky to have the sweetest FMIL ever. Since I met her when FI and I started dating she has been so amazing to me and always has nice things to say to FI about me and I am so incredibly thankful for that. Especially with hearing what all you ladies have had to go through.

 

My story however, is about my stepmother, who up until a couple years ago has always been great to me and just recently have things just gotten progressively worse(interestingly enough, the older my half sister gets, the more she seems to resent my brother and I and the worse our relationship has gotten, but that is another story). Since FI and I got engaged though, she has become so incredibly ridiculous. First, over my birthday weekend we were in CA scouting sites for our DW. Our first dinner there, right after she had first met FI, she brings up that she doesn't understand what our rush is, why we would possibly want to get married so young. I can give her the benefit of the doubt, I had been engaged before years ago to the guy I dated in highschool and I could just assume she's looking out for me. And she chose to do the career and then family thing, not getting married til her mid 30s, that's fine for her but not what I chose for myself.

 

But then she comes out with this zinger...she says, "Well I just hope that you two are not planning on having kids for a long time because we've been thinking recently about if we want to have a second child and it would just be wrong if you were to have kids while I am, I'm too young to be a grandma."

Excuse me?

 

Since then it has been so much family politic drama and I just know that the majority of my dad's issues with the date/time/place of the wedding etc. are because of things she is saying to him.

 

It's not my fault that she waited so long to have children and married someone older than her with kids already. It's like she doesn't think it's fair that I get to be in my 20s and getting married while she's 40-something and having an identity crisis.

 

Sorry, just needed to vent I guess.

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I have a crazy FFIL, drives me crazy in LIFE and the wedding hasn't even rolled around yet!! He is like another girls FMIL, bragging about spending money on this and that, but said he would "lend" FI money for the wedding... well I told FI that any money he would use to pay back to his dad would come out of HIS money, not mine! My parents are in no way asking to be paid back, thats not how it works! As well, he gives off that vibe of "I don't like you but I tolerate you because I have to"... brings up FI's ex, and sometimes is downright rude. My theory on this is because FI is French and I am English... and in the French community (AKA Quebec for you Canadians, you will hear me on this one) it is frowned upon to date someone "outside your language"... its this whole culture protection thing they have going on. ANYWAY.

 

I have lots more ranting to do, but I will let someone else take a turn... haha

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Future Mrs. Kt Ellis View Post
I am so lucky to have the sweetest FMIL ever. Since I met her when FI and I started dating she has been so amazing to me and always has nice things to say to FI about me and I am so incredibly thankful for that. Especially with hearing what all you ladies have had to go through.

My story however, is about my stepmother, who up until a couple years ago has always been great to me and just recently have things just gotten progressively worse(interestingly enough, the older my half sister gets, the more she seems to resent my brother and I and the worse our relationship has gotten, but that is another story). Since FI and I got engaged though, she has become so incredibly ridiculous. First, over my birthday weekend we were in CA scouting sites for our DW. Our first dinner there, right after she had first met FI, she brings up that she doesn't understand what our rush is, why we would possibly want to get married so young. I can give her the benefit of the doubt, I had been engaged before years ago to the guy I dated in highschool and I could just assume she's looking out for me. And she chose to do the career and then family thing, not getting married til her mid 30s, that's fine for her but not what I chose for myself.

But then she comes out with this zinger...she says, "Well I just hope that you two are not planning on having kids for a long time because we've been thinking recently about if we want to have a second child and it would just be wrong if you were to have kids while I am, I'm too young to be a grandma."
Excuse me?

Since then it has been so much family politic drama and I just know that the majority of my dad's issues with the date/time/place of the wedding etc. are because of things she is saying to him.

It's not my fault that she waited so long to have children and married someone older than her with kids already. It's like she doesn't think it's fair that I get to be in my 20s and getting married while she's 40-something and having an identity crisis.

Sorry, just needed to vent I guess.

Oh plez tell her to grow up! This is not about her this is about you and making your own choices in life. If she was really looking out for your best interest she would have sat you down and have a heart to heart with you. Instead she's jealous and wants all the attention focused on her and her new family. I'm glad you saw the light. Wishing you the best in dealing with her when someone had gone off the deep end of selfishness its hard to get through to them. Keep us posted and maybe slip St John Old Wart into hr drinks! :-)

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People get so weird about stuff!!! My FMIL was really quiet about FI dating and moving in together, (we have combined families, we each have a child that lives with us fulltime). I know she wasn't kool with the DW, however didn'y say too much. She did want me to go to Europe to buy my dress. (Yeah I'm laughing with you!!! I am in no position to go anywhere to buy my dress). She was a little put off by that, ( She married money, 3rd time around).

FMIL just got back from 7 week vacation in Europe and we had her over for dinner this past Sunday, well I told her my dress was almost ready and I was having it made. Her comment knock me on my butt. She said to me "oh your having your dress made" and then "you'll have to say it has some kind of label'. My response was "yeah I'll be saying it was made by the little Russian lady from Willowbeach! Which is the truth.

She also made a few comments about DIY projects and that she found out that we didn't invite some people she really thought should have gotten an invite. It was really weird!!!!! I really could care less... I don't look for approval from anyone!!!! FI is the same, he said she was riding him about things too and he was getting short with her.

My vent..... Nothing as brutal as some of you poor gals....

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Just want to post an update in MIL from hell.

Sunday was our AHR. After not giving us a card in JA, refusing to contribute to any of the cost of anything, my MIL shows up at AHR with still, NO CARD or gift and told everyone in her family to sit wherever they wanted since a few of their clan didn't show up.

NO CARDhuh.gif NOT EVEN AN EMPTY ONEhuh.gif?

Not even a small check to maybe cover part of their dinners that WE paid for?

We had a few cards fall out of bags in the car, so I had my husband call his mother to ask if they gave a card, in case it was lost. Her response was "no, I figured going to Jamaica was enough".

What kills me is that this woman goes on 2 exotic vacations every year. She was complaining at the AHR how she does not know what cruise to go on, since she has already been on most of them?! Then she takes all the leftover favors and drives home in her Lexus!!!

What did I get myself into?

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Quote:
Originally Posted by michelle6114 View Post
Just want to post an update in MIL from hell.
Sunday was our AHR. After not giving us a card in JA, refusing to contribute to any of the cost of anything, my MIL shows up at AHR with still, NO CARD or gift and told everyone in her family to sit wherever they wanted since a few of their clan didn't show up.
NO CARDhuh.gif NOT EVEN AN EMPTY ONEhuh.gif?
Not even a small check to maybe cover part of their dinners that WE paid for?
We had a few cards fall out of bags in the car, so I had my husband call his mother to ask if they gave a card, in case it was lost. Her response was "no, I figured going to Jamaica was enough".
What kills me is that this woman goes on 2 exotic vacations every year. She was complaining at the AHR how she does not know what cruise to go on, since she has already been on most of them?! Then she takes all the leftover favors and drives home in her Lexus!!!
What did I get myself into?
I am so sorry you are going through this! She has a lot of nerve not even getting you a card, or AT LEAST writing you both a letter! You have your own family with your husband now and that is all that matters! You are not alone either, look how quickly this board filled up, LOL! Good luck!!

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I am so glad I found this thread!! I can't complain too much right now about my FMIL but I do have stories that I can share. Just like brandynd I've had to deal with the framed pictures. I first noticed them last Thanksgiving and was a bit shocked (FI and the ex had broken up 5 years ago and as far as I knew FMIL did not like her.). FI told me he'd ask for them to come down and soon enough our wedding pics would be on the wall (that was before he popped the question). Well, the pics were there at Christmas, and again in March. We were home in March helping her gather pictures for FI's grandmother's funeral when we both had enough and took the pictures down ourselves. I actually hid one in a bookcase!! We decided on a DW to help keep FMIL out of the planning. So far it's worked pretty well except when she mentioned that because of money issues she thought we could have a pizza party for the rehearsal dinner. I told her we could scout out some inexpensive restaurants and come up with some good ideas. Not to sound like a Bridezilla but I am not having a pizza party for the rehearsal dinner!

I am sure I'll have more venting to do next week as we are traveling home to MA for the weekend. We relocated to TX 9 months ago and I can I just say how much I LOVE having 2200 miles in between us?!?

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Well I am so glad I am not alone here. My in-laws are crazzzy! So first off, since we bought a house ( 2years ago ) we have not gotten along with my FIs mom and her bf ( of 15 years ). He is an arogant a** who thinks he knows everything and is a huge drinker which just makes him even more cocky. When my FI propsed my MIL came over and went on and on about my ring being so big and that I was going to catch it on everything, and how she would never want something that size (Jealous much?). So last month the bf proposed to my FIs mother, who said yes. They have picked a date of Jan 16/2010, which is 10 days after our wedding. Convenient! Then she had the balls to ask my FI to walk her down the isle if he was back from our honeymoon. My FI was pissed and said hell NO! I am not giving you away to some one who I do not want you to marry. Ohh and then the drama continues. My FIs little sister (19) got engaged a week ago. I think we started something. FI keeps telling me how f*cked his family is and I really feel sorry for him, as he is so embarassed. I am happy that my family has welcomed him with open arms, and he can count on them for anything, which is something he has never had. Its sad really.

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