let's start a MIL from hell thread

[classadiva]

Quote:

Originally Posted by michelle6114 I really expected nothing more from this woman, but the "no card" thing really upset me. This is the same woman who brags about spending $60k on her daughter's wedding. I am interested to know about any other stories from brides here. This could be a good thread for blowing off steam!

I think that you have a right to be upset about the fact that all she gave you was a card when she spent 60K on her daughter's wedding. How does she think that makes her son feel? In my case, my FI's younger brother is the favorite son. Although their family is of modest means, Mom took out a reverse mortgage to help with the younger brother's wedding. When she heard that we were getting married, although no one had asked for a dime, she promptly told my FI that she is broke and has no money. It broke his heart. Not because we wanted her money...but the fact that she would treat her kids so differently. Not only that...but we will probably have to finance her trip to our wedding

[michelle6114]

Yeppers, she contributed not one single cent to our wedding. Didn't even thank me for the oot bag or expensive favors I had made up.

My family is fuming about the whole thing. They spent money they didnt have to come to JA with us, and had to listen to this obnoxios woman brag about her cruises, lexus, how much her gaudy dres cost, ect. They are telling me not to plan on having any joint holiday dinners anytime soon. I feel horrible for my husband.

I still want to hear stories, ladies!!!

[Emily&Matt]

Quote:

Originally Posted by michelle6114 Yeppers, she contributed not one single cent to our wedding. Didn't even thank me for the oot bag or expensive favors I had made up. My family is fuming about the whole thing. They spent money they didnt have to come to JA with us, and had to listen to this obnoxios woman brag about her cruises, lexus, how much her gaudy dres cost, ect. They are telling me not to plan on having any joint holiday dinners anytime soon. I feel horrible for my husband. I still want to hear stories, ladies!!!

Wow, what amazes me is what a good attitude you seem to have. I can't imagine dealing with someone like that. I wouldn't want them around at all and wouldn't have even invited her. I don't have any relatives or in-laws to be who are impossible to deal with in my life and I thank God for that!

[brandynd]

You want a story? Okay….here goes. My saga has continued, and my FMIL is not getting any better about being a decent human being. Update to where we are—Our DW was cancelled because everyone was backing out, finance issues, and FI’s mom being a royal PITA. Okay, that’s fine. We’re now working on planning our local wedding, church and all.

FI’s mom is demanding that he give her back the deposit that his sister paid for her trip to Mexico, because after her bitching and complaining for months on end about the cost of the trip, FI agreed to pay it off for her. She didn’t have insurance, so the TA gave her a voucher to use in the future, and she still wants him to give her $600….ummm, no.

It doesn’t stop there. I’m on the hunt for a new wedding dress, because the one that I had obviously isn’t going to work for a Nebraska wedding in the middle of February. FI’s mom got wind of it, and very verbally expressed that she doesn’t think I deserve a new dress, because I’m not working right now, and she seems to think that FI’s income is how we’re surviving. WTF?!? First of all our finances are none of her business, and secondly, we’re both really money conscious, so we have a buffer savings for situations such as the one we’re in.

I was over at FI’s sister after hearing all of this and the dress topic came up. She immediately got all excited and started talking about how “The four of us should go find your dress.†Meaning her, myself, and FI’s 2 sisters. I told her I was going to be going with my mom, and she started saying how since my mom wasn’t paying for the dress, she didn’t need to go. OMG, I wanted to smack her.

She refuses to help with anything, including paying for the rehearsal dinner, which before we had decided to have a DW she had agreed to. Now, because FI’s father passed away in May, she says that she doesn’t think it’s fair that she has to pay for the entire thing. She seems to think that all of that responsibility should have landed on FI’s dad, who she’d been divorced from for 20 years, and who she still owed several thousand dollars to for FI’s big sisters wedding. Yet she can afford to buy new Coach and Burberry bags every other week, and to take vacations to Vegas with her girl friends every few months? Hmm…great priorities.

She hates everything that I have planned for the wedding, and constantly undermines every decision that I make. She’s pissed that the wedding is in my church. She says it is too far away (I grew up in a small town about 15 minutes away from Omaha) and that she thinks FI should be married in her church like his two big sisters were. She also threw a fit about our wedding colors, ivory, black, and green, and says that our wedding will look like a funeral (my BM’s will be in black and white dresses).

Last I checked this WAS my wedding..shouldn’t I get to have some say in the things that I want? I’m so sick of being called a bitch, and being made to feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. The whole situation is so irritating, and I just want to scream.

And before you start in with the “I’m sure she has great intentions,†kick, I just want to come out and say she doesn’t. The woman can’t stand me, and I can FEEL IT. It’s like when you walk into a room, and the person there just goes out of their way to make you feel uncomfortable? Like that. I went and was finding photos of FI for our slideshow, and she still has pictures of FI and his ex girlfriend all over the place. FRAMED! Okay, that was fine, I was thinking that maybe they were just really good pictures. Oh, no….she started telling me “Oh that’s Tina, she was such a NICE girl. I really liked her. I was sure they would end up married. Did you know that when he met you they were talking about working things out?†There is NO WAY to spin that to make it seem like she was being nice! Who does that?!?!

Ugh….sorry for the novel. I know most of you have read about her antics before, but things seem to be getting worse, not better, since we moved our wedding to the US. I think I need some valium, or a cocktail, or an excorcism for FI’s mom.

[vdaybride]

I definitely have a FMIL from HELL!! When she found out that we were planning our wedding, she decided to call up his ex girlfriend from 7years ago and tell her that her son was about to get married. Well by the end of their little coffee chat, the ex girlfriend decided that she still loved my fiance.....so she drafted up a pathetic love letter professing her love and left it with my FMIL. We live in NY and she lives in Atlanta.. when my fiance flew in to see her (his mother) she HAND DELIVERED THE LOVE LETTER and told him to "read it in a quiet place" WTF!!!! This woman really ruffles my feathers!!! Who does that?!?!?

[michelle6114]

Ouch! Love letters from ex's?? Framed pics of them too? I think we should start a fund to send all 3 of our MIL's on a nice little trip of their own. Anyone with MIL's like that deserves a nice long romantic honeymoon!! Keep your chins up (and the miles between your houses, lol). I am glad I am not alone here!

[Banana11]

Quote:

Originally Posted by brandynd You want a story? Okay….here goes. My saga has continued, and my FMIL is not getting any better about being a decent human being. Update to where we are—Our DW was cancelled because everyone was backing out, finance issues, and FI’s mom being a royal PITA. Okay, that’s fine. We’re now working on planning our local wedding, church and all. FI’s mom is demanding that he give her back the deposit that his sister paid for her trip to Mexico, because after her bitching and complaining for months on end about the cost of the trip, FI agreed to pay it off for her. She didn’t have insurance, so the TA gave her a voucher to use in the future, and she still wants him to give her $600….ummm, no. It doesn’t stop there. I’m on the hunt for a new wedding dress, because the one that I had obviously isn’t going to work for a Nebraska wedding in the middle of February. FI’s mom got wind of it, and very verbally expressed that she doesn’t think I deserve a new dress, because I’m not working right now, and she seems to think that FI’s income is how we’re surviving. WTF?!? First of all our finances are none of her business, and secondly, we’re both really money conscious, so we have a buffer savings for situations such as the one we’re in. I was over at FI’s sister after hearing all of this and the dress topic came up. She immediately got all excited and started talking about how “The four of us should go find your dress.†Meaning her, myself, and FI’s 2 sisters. I told her I was going to be going with my mom, and she started saying how since my mom wasn’t paying for the dress, she didn’t need to go. OMG, I wanted to smack her. She refuses to help with anything, including paying for the rehearsal dinner, which before we had decided to have a DW she had agreed to. Now, because FI’s father passed away in May, she says that she doesn’t think it’s fair that she has to pay for the entire thing. She seems to think that all of that responsibility should have landed on FI’s dad, who she’d been divorced from for 20 years, and who she still owed several thousand dollars to for FI’s big sisters wedding. Yet she can afford to buy new Coach and Burberry bags every other week, and to take vacations to Vegas with her girl friends every few months? Hmm…great priorities. She hates everything that I have planned for the wedding, and constantly undermines every decision that I make. She’s pissed that the wedding is in my church. She says it is too far away (I grew up in a small town about 15 minutes away from Omaha) and that she thinks FI should be married in her church like his two big sisters were. She also threw a fit about our wedding colors, ivory, black, and green, and says that our wedding will look like a funeral (my BM’s will be in black and white dresses). Last I checked this WAS my wedding..shouldn’t I get to have some say in the things that I want? I’m so sick of being called a bitch, and being made to feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. The whole situation is so irritating, and I just want to scream. And before you start in with the “I’m sure she has great intentions,†kick, I just want to come out and say she doesn’t. The woman can’t stand me, and I can FEEL IT. It’s like when you walk into a room, and the person there just goes out of their way to make you feel uncomfortable? Like that. I went and was finding photos of FI for our slideshow, and she still has pictures of FI and his ex girlfriend all over the place. FRAMED! Okay, that was fine, I was thinking that maybe they were just really good pictures. Oh, no….she started telling me “Oh that’s Tina, she was such a NICE girl. I really liked her. I was sure they would end up married. Did you know that when he met you they were talking about working things out?†There is NO WAY to spin that to make it seem like she was being nice! Who does that?!?! Ugh….sorry for the novel. I know most of you have read about her antics before, but things seem to be getting worse, not better, since we moved our wedding to the US. I think I need some valium, or a cocktail, or an excorcism for FI’s mom.

You are right, there's no way to spin it! She is one big fat PITA! I'm sorry you have to deal with her and her bs. Keep sticking up for yourself! And I want to add there is no picture good enough to warrant leaving up that has an ex girlfriend in it. That is completely rude.

[Preciousmi811]

My FMIL does like me but she she makes comments over and over that really piss me off. She tells me that I need to be understanding of my FI working and support him. WTF? I work too and pay the bills too. How about he supports me? I always grit my teeth and smile but she says it all the f-ing time. I'm not a housewife, this is not 1940 and your son is not God!

[Debs]

Quote:

Originally Posted by classadiva Not only that...but we will probably have to finance her trip to our wedding

I wouldn't be doing that AT ALL. If she can't get her crap together to pay for her trip she shouldn't go, IMO.

[echo2_62]

I can say that thankfully my FMIL seems to have curbed her attitude about our wedding for the time being and has been reasonably agreeable lately. That, coming after six weeks of her not talking to us because she was nearly livid about a number of things we'd supposedly done or how we'd handled things with the wedding. I think she felt like we were expecting them to come but totally trying to exclude them otherwise. Well FIRST, she's not MY mother so I don't have to keep her up to date on every single step along the way nevermind that my mom isn't even that involved anyways! They both live in different provinces from me, and from each other, so really there's only so much they could help with in the first place. Second, I basically get treated like the "other" DIL right now. His brother and wife have only been married a few years but together for a long time otherwise so while it's understandable that they're closer, there is still some obvious favouritism towards her and really she could do no wrong it seems. BIL & SIL had a DW when they got married as well and it was "just wonderful" and yet FI and I have gotten all sorts of pushback.

 

The really funny thing is that throughout all of FMIL's antics (which don't sound bad right now because I'm pretty much over it at this point), I'd been telling my mom about how angry and frustrated she was making me. And now, FMIL has been saying that she will make sure that she's not crowding us down at the resort and she will be more than happy to go shopping with my mom etc (like she does with SIL's mom!). And you're wondering why I'm laughing about this because really it sounds like a good deal? Well MY mom hates shopping and won't want any part of it. On top of that, she was getting really fed up with FMIL over what I was passing on and just can't see the two of them getting along beyond a social, casual (and partly oh-crap-now-we're-related) setting! Haha! I love my mom for it too.

 

This thread has honestly made me feel so much better about my FMIL too so thank you! Or rather, it's helped me realize that I'm not alone in my plea to have her just mind her own business and be happy for us!

 

Who'd have thought that was so much to ask from a PARENT!?!?!