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Have people questioned your reason for doing a DW?

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#71 kymkymkym

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    Posted 06 February 2010 - 08:51 PM

    I wholeheartedly agree with this thread! Me and my FI are going through this right at the moment. We got engaged May 2008, and originally had started planning an at home wedding for October 2, 2010, we had booked a few vendors etc. After adding a few things up we started thinking that we didn't want to spend the money here at home on a wedding when we could have a vacation and wedding all in one - we just decided this at Christmas time. So we discussed it with both of our parents and they told us "whatever you guys want to do, go ahead and do it!" So I found a TA - found a Resort and Found a new wedding date. We then tell FI's parents and they say "WoW, we didn't think you were actually going to go away to get married and you know so many people won't be able to be there!" - OK seriously we just talked about it over Christmas (After you told us to do whatever WE wanted) and now that things are set in motion you act like you didn't agree with it? Plus some family members have now said to me that since we've been engaged for almost two years it would have been nice if they had some notice that we wanted to go away and get married, just because we've been engaged for two years does not mean we knew right off the bat what we wanted to do.. we were happy just being engaged! However, right now both myself and FI are happy with our decision to go away and get married.. it's not like after we get married we will fall off the face of the earth never to see anyone again. Yeah it does kind of suck that not everyone we want to be there will be able to make it but we have to do what is right for us and after all it's our wedding.

    #72 TLC4Rock

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    • 473 posts

      Posted 06 February 2010 - 08:55 PM

      I agree kymkymkym, it's sad the people we really want to share the day with are unable to attend for various reasons. But they are so gracious and supportive it makes all the negative chat mute.

      #73 heidilynn28

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        Posted 06 February 2010 - 11:43 PM

        Well I can relate! I'm patiently waiting on bf to propose (ring is picked out and possibly ordered..I think lol). We've both agreed to get married south for financial reasons and we also just want to be different. My mother is super excited and cannot wait for it to happen... my MIL on the other hand was told today that we were going to be engaged soon and that we want a DW.

        Her immediate reaction was "there are other ways of doing a wedding at home without it costing a fortune. You don't have to do a huge sit down meal, or invite 100 people.."

        Basically she doesn't want to go south and leave her precious garden (we're planning a June wedding). We've agreed that we're doing it for US and even if we only have 15-20 people, we'll be happy. Why is there always someone who has to bash your decisions!?

        #74 SunnyDBride

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          Posted 26 June 2010 - 10:44 AM

          I am so glad to read these posts ladies!! I thought maybe it was just me! My mom is saying how will you feel if no one from my side of the family (she's from Chicago and all but two of her sibs are still there) can come? I'm like, my one cousin is a VP at a huge bank in Chicago and her hubby is an exec at Target and one of my other cousins is a medical doctor and her husband is an engineer. They both have homes that are $00K and half a mil respectively. If nothing else, they can probably afford it. She didn't even talk to anyone about it really, she jus was throwing it out there as a what if.

          When I asked one of my girlfriends to be my MatOH this week, she said a lot of people were asking her why were we getting married in Jamaica instead of here where more people can attend. I'm like, what people? I'm going to ask her because I want to know.

          People kill me just saying whatever without considering do they need to say it/ask it, how it's going to come off, etc. I have started thinking maybe should I change my mind, but I don't really want to so I'm not. We will have an AHR when we get home a few weeks later (on a Friday to save us more money) adn I will wear my dress, as many of the bridal party as can make it will be there, DJ, cake, dinner, the whole 9. People need to let people plan their day their way. Sure, I'd like to have a lot of friends and family around but that's not probably likely. We're shooting for 60-75 which I think would be awesome for a DW, but we'll see what we get. Either way, I am having an AHR so I'll still have everybody I wanted there--just not all in Jamaica. It is what it is.

          By the way, I love traveling the world so this is par for the course for me and I would think people would love the idea to vacation. Oh well, at the end of the day it isa bride and groom's day and they have to do what they feel is best for them.

          #75 Rae17

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            Posted 26 June 2010 - 11:17 AM

            This thread made me feel much better knowing everyone has dealt with this. We're only inviting immediate family, so there will be around 15 guests. SO many people are hasseling me about why we are having just family and I keep explaining we will have a reception or something when we get back but we just want immediate family because we are having a small wedding. If we invite friends we have to invite extended family and that makes it a big wedding. My best friend is furious at me and has told me how lame our wedding plans are... it just puts a damper on the whole thing. Makes me wonder if we're doing the right thing by having it in Florida

            #76 TanyonL

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            • 166 posts

              Posted 26 June 2010 - 08:19 PM

              As the date gets closer, certain family members who originally said "it's your day, do whatever you want" are now starting to complain about the location. However, not once did any of them (parents included) offer up any financing for a local wedding sooooo...JAMAICA IT IS!

              #77 MSBRANDI

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                Posted 26 June 2010 - 10:29 PM

                I am just waiting to see who actually shows up. The only grief that I am receiving is from my dad because this is a destination that he does not care to travel to, so in so many words, he plans not to go. But our show is still going to go on. And anybody else, I really don't care. But we do plan to have an AHR when we return.

                #78 MSBRANDI

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                  Posted 26 June 2010 - 10:30 PM

                  And Tanyon, no one offered any finances for my wedding either, so I totally feel you on that one.

                  #79 PrincssScorpion7

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                    Posted 28 June 2010 - 02:55 PM

                    My FI family has had more issues with than anyone. My family knows me well enough to know I am going to do my wedding the way I want it done regardless of what anyone says. He told his family this is what I want and this is how it is going to be done. They can come or they can see the pictures when we get back.

                    #80 MDLady

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                    • 433 posts

                      Posted 29 June 2010 - 12:22 PM

                      Ladies, don't question your decision to do a DW if that's what you want to do. You will definitely have people asking why or complaining or criticizing. I never understood why some people in my family considered that we were "making our guests travel" as if we were making them go to Siberia in December to a labor camp. We are talking about a vacation in paradise!!!! It is upsetting but just brush it off. I had an aunt who is awesome but for some reason she couldn't wrap her mind about the DW thing. And even after the wedding while still on the island, she told my sister that we would have had more people if we had the wedding at home. My sister politely reminded her that this is what we wanted and that 45 people was quite a good turnout and even if it was less, our goal was not to have huge numbers. Some people just have a hard time understanding when you veer off the beaten path so just ignore them :)

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