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Have people questioned your reason for doing a DW?


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#61 loua4

loua4
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    Posted 30 January 2010 - 09:54 PM

    wow! I cant believe all the stuff everyone is dealing with. makes me feel better. haha! A very good friend of mine recently got married and she wanted to do the destination thing but so many people complained that she got married at home. So once my FI and I got engaged we decided that no matter what we were getting married away.

    My FI whole family, except for his mom gave him grief, but she is still quiet about the whole thing. They dont understand why we have to do that, it isnt fair to anyone else (even though it is our wedding!) And it is not like they would contribute to anything if we had it at home anyways.

    I have a co-worker who keeps trying to tell me that because my FI and I have been together for 12yrs that we should just save our pennies and go to town hall, get a dress from salvation army and get married that way. She really pisses me off!!!!! My family is great though and sooooo excited.

    #62 giraffexx

    giraffexx
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      Posted 31 January 2010 - 11:19 AM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by loua4
      wow! I cant believe all the stuff everyone is dealing with. makes me feel better. haha! A very good friend of mine recently got married and she wanted to do the destination thing but so many people complained that she got married at home. So once my FI and I got engaged we decided that no matter what we were getting married away.

      My FI whole family, except for his mom gave him grief, but she is still quiet about the whole thing. They dont understand why we have to do that, it isnt fair to anyone else (even though it is our wedding!) And it is not like they would contribute to anything if we had it at home anyways.

      I have a co-worker who keeps trying to tell me that because my FI and I have been together for 12yrs that we should just save our pennies and go to town hall, get a dress from salvation army and get married that way. She really pisses me off!!!!! My family is great though and sooooo excited.
      WOW! Your co-worker is completely out of line!!

      I have been with my finance for 10 years and my cousin said something similar to me and it REALLY pissed me off! We started dating when I was 22 and he was 24. We actually know couples who have met, got married and divorced in the time that we have been together and we didn't want that to be us. So we waited until we were both settled in our careers, bought a home together and are now ready for the next big step in our relationship.

      Why should it be less special for us because we've been together for a long time. It's still our wedding!!

      I say BOOOOO to all the negative people and remind them that I never ask to have a say in how they live their lives so why are they so quick to think they have the right to say anything about mine.

      Try not to let all the negativity get you down and enjoy planning your wedding!

      #63 Nicyx

      Nicyx
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        Posted 31 January 2010 - 04:21 PM

        Hi everyone

        We from the outset said we would be getting married abroad and we have always stuck to this, knowing FI parents wouldnt be coming (few reasons) but we are secretly hoping they change their minds ;-) They have never given us any grief about where we want to get wed, also knowing my sis, bro in law and nephew wouldnt be able to make it (again secretly hoping for a mind change) My parents originally said they wouldnt be able to come but a few months ago when we decided to set a month (May 2011, date to be confirmed) my mum told me that she and my dad would be coming and im so so pleased, i have never dreampt of a big wedding but have always dreampt of my dad giving me away :-) So to actually get that is fantastic :-) My Brother and his GFshould hopefully be coming, FI's sis, Bro in law, and Niece will defo be coming and have said so from the outset.
        We will be asking a few friends and family but dont expect because of cost many more to come but i must say we would have ALWAYS said even if it is just us on the wedding day then we would be happy. After all its OUR day :-) but would be fantastic to share with family and friends..............
        We will have a bit of a doo when we get back (any excuse to wear the dress again... lol) but this is because its something I want to do as i will miss everyone not being at our wedding.
        We are very lucky not to have had the agro you guys have been having but i think you are all right to just get on with YOUR OWN choices as it really is something you would regret if you chose to make everyone else happy on your day and you just end up being misrable, then your wedding day would be memorable for all the wrong reasons!!!!

        Good luck to everyone with the choices you make... You know they will be the right ones :-)

        Nicola
        xoxo

        #64 soontomrs.coleman11

        soontomrs.coleman11
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          Posted 31 January 2010 - 09:58 PM

          It’s so comforting to hear other brides going through this family headache. I swear I was the only one. While I am so excited to plan our destination wedding for April 2011, my Mother is really quiet about it. My Mother runs a side business as a wedding planner. She has planned several girls wedding at our church. She hasn’t even told my Stepdad any of the details yet. My Mother would rather me get married at her church and have the reception at the local Elks Lodge!!!! My FI and I both come from a fairly large family. To be honest, there are some family members that we don’t want at the wedding. We both are looking for something quiet and personal. We want to have fun at our wedding with no drama. I am at the point where I don’t even talk too much to my Mom concerning the wedding because she is not excited about it and it pisses me off.

          #65 vdaybride

          vdaybride
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            Posted 31 January 2010 - 11:01 PM

            Thankfully, I didn't have any negative nellies in my ear..if they were negative, they weren't within earshot anyway. I would suggest that you go with what you want to do. Regardless there will be one person who you will NOT be able to please regardless of the hoops you jump through to make them happy. At the end of the day you are absolutely justified to go off and have the wedding that you are dreaming of. I hope you keep your plans and your date set!! Good luck to you
            Married 2-14-2010 Dreams, Los Cabos

             


            #66 lalanyc

            lalanyc
            • Jr. Member
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              Posted 01 February 2010 - 03:46 PM

              We included a FAQ section on our website and that was the FIRST question we answered!!! That way everyone could hear it from the horse's mouth.

              We knew certain people would not be able to attend and that was perfectly fine. As long as our closest family members agreed to traveling beforehand, that's all we cared about.

              We also made it a point to include cheaper hotel options close to the resort for those cost sensitive guests. Knowing that they would pay hotel fares equal to or even cheaper than what they would have paid in the US, I have no qualms about any complaints. I also can't do anything about people's fear of flying and at the end of the day, half of guests would have had to fly b/c my FI and I are from opposite coasts!

              So at this point I just dont care what anyone has to say :)

              #67 iheartbees

              iheartbees
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                Posted 01 February 2010 - 05:20 PM

                There are so many positive ladies in this forum!
                Thank you to everyone for your posts. It's nice to know that none of us is alone in the difficulties we may be facing

                #68 YIweddings

                YIweddings
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                  Posted 01 February 2010 - 06:35 PM

                  I'm so happy to join all of you!
                  I have to say I was the unsuportive sister at first when my brother wanted a destination wedding in Punta Cana. I am a wedding planner in my hometown so I was a little sad that he didn't want me to do anything for him. I saved my pennies and went on the trip and loved it. So much so that I am planning my own destination wedding in Punta Cana.

                  Being a wedding planner puts a lot of expectations on me and I've alreay had comments from vendors about who I would pick for my wedding so I don't want to play favourites.
                  And besides when I want to enjoy my day who is going to do all the 'day of' work for me when I'm the only one who knows what needs to be done.

                  I'm finding some of the same problems but with the wrong people. His family is small and they're all excited. My family i suspportive. But it's a co-worker/friend who said that an out of town wedding wouldn't be convenient for her boyfriend so I should have it in town and make lots of money from gifts. I have no comments other than I don't even like her boyfriend and it won't ruin my day if they're both not there.

                  Another friend (sort of) was asking questions and I mentioned Punta Cana and she asked if it could be somewhere else because she didn't like Punta Cana and is still paying off the trip for my brother's destination wedding. How do I tell her that she isn't on my guest list? argh! yup I said argh!
                  Soon to be Mrs. Kramer

                  #69 jdrewett

                  jdrewett
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                  • 171 posts

                    Posted 01 February 2010 - 11:05 PM

                    Some of our relatives make negative remarks or say things like, why don't you have it here, i don't know if we'll be able to make it because of money, etc. At this point, we've just decided that whoever wants to be there will make it. Sometimes it stresses me out to think who will make it and who won't, but I'm just trying to stay positive. :) Thanks for the support!
                    -Jessica

                    #70 TLC4Rock

                    TLC4Rock
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                    • 473 posts

                      Posted 06 February 2010 - 08:32 PM

                      THANKS!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!! OMG, I can relate to everyone's post.

                      The worst response I received was, "this isn't fair to us" I believe in planning for my guest because they are helping us celebrate our union...but at what level. My focus was on finding an affordable priced resort so that many could afford to attend.


                      I would like to host an etiquette blog for those that are invited to a destination wedding:

                      #1 - If you can't afford to attend simply say, I wish you the best and please share pictures.
                      #2 - If you can afford but afraid of anything outside of what you would do then "JUST SAY NOTHING"




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