Should I believe him
Posted 13 October 2009 - 10:55 AM
I asked him why he had it and he said a "friend" at work ask him for it? Seriously "a friend" I told him I knew who and why after all these years would a) she ask for it and he still have it to give her
He blew up saying he was gonna marry me in a month why would I even think something inappropriate might be going on and that she collects old ticket stubs. I cried saying I know women and what they will do to get a man.
My brother got married several years ago and his exgirlfriend who was already married sent him a letter 2 days before the wedding saying she would leave her husband if there was still a chance for them. Two days before the wedding!!!
So yes I am paranoid and it seems everything is freaking me out lately. I saw that he became friends on facebook with another ex girlfriend just days ago. What is doing or trying to say to me or am I over reacting.
He says I am over reacting but am I or am I being very aware??
Help me ladies as I said we have less than a month and I want to make put this issue to rest or blow it open depending.
There are so many other things I would like to be doing than acting like an obsessed jealous woman.
thanks for any words of wisdom you can pass along.
Posted 13 October 2009 - 11:01 AM
I hope it all works out for you!! Good Luck!
Posted 13 October 2009 - 11:08 AM
Posted 13 October 2009 - 11:19 AM
And you have every right to be furious, scared, jealous and wondering "WTF?!?", my dear! I would be livid if I found ANYTHING related to one of John's ex-es anywhere in our apartment, more or less in his lunch bag! I would just remind him of how it would feel if the shoe was on the other foot; how he would feel if you not only worked with one of your ex-flames, but were hanging on to momentos that relationship -- it's not fair for him to expect you to be rational when this situation is clearly inappropriate.
I AM SO SORRY you are hurting and so close to your wedding, too -- I think it'll work out, but he needs to put YOU first and respect your wishes more than he respects his ex-girlfriend/co-worker!!!
Oh, and just remember, he asked YOU to marry him, not this broad, so obviously he loves YOU and she never was the one for him!!!
Posted 13 October 2009 - 11:19 AM
Posted 13 October 2009 - 11:20 AM
BUT, you do have to trust him, and accusing him is not going to help...at all. If he works with her, he needs to be friendly with her to keep the peace in the office. As long as he doesn't cross the line, you have to trust that he is keeping it in line. I don't think a ticket stub, that she collects, is out of line. And facebok is harmless unless proven otherwise.
So just have a talk with him and let him know that your sorry, but you are a little extra sensitive leading up to the wedding. Let him know why. And ask if he could be a little extra sensitive/reassuring during this time. Be sure not to accuse him of anything. Keep focus on how you are feeling. Good luck!
Posted 13 October 2009 - 11:23 AM
I'm a firm believer in the idea that women truly wouldn't be jealous and worried if their husbands didn't give them a reason to be. End of story. When I look back on old relationships and think of what was different btw men I was jealous of and men that I wasn't jealous of, the only difference is that the non-jealous relationship had a man in it that NEVER gave me reasons or did anything to lead me to believe I had something to worry about.
Besides, who collects ticket stubs?!!!!!
Posted 13 October 2009 - 11:28 AM
It's really difficult to choose between intuition and trust. You just have to think abou which one you feel is stronger. Do you trust that your FI would never go a stray more then you your gut feeling?
I hope everything works out for you in the end. It's too bad that your FI doesn't seem to understand where you're coming from. Perhaps a heart to heart is in order.
Posted 13 October 2009 - 03:43 PM
Posted 13 October 2009 - 07:19 PM
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