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What would you do?


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#11 classadiva

classadiva
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    Posted 13 October 2009 - 04:06 PM

    Cut her loose. I've only been engaged 3 1/2 weeks and I can't believe the half-hearted friends that are coming out of the woodwork. For some reason, folks want an invite to a wedding!!

    In your case, she has not been there when you needed her. Now that she may need YOUR support and wants an invite...here she comes. Nonsense. Your wedding is one of the most important days of your life...you want to be surrounded by the people that truly love and care about you. Leave this so-called friend and her negative energy far behind.

    #12 josee

    josee
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      Posted 15 October 2009 - 03:25 PM

      I would just ignore her. I believe that a best friend should be there for you, no matter what. Be happy, move on and forget about that so called "best friend!

      #13 Jennybell1

      Jennybell1
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        Posted 15 October 2009 - 03:34 PM

        Short but sweet.....I would leave it. You said you that you now know who your real friends are...I think that says it right there. Its not worth it. Drop her and run. Sounds like shes wants to be your friend only when its convenient. RUN!

        #14 *kellis*

        *kellis*
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          Posted 21 October 2009 - 12:10 AM

          What a rough situation to be in. Honestly, if I was you I wouldn't be jumping at the chance to rekindle any friendship because she hasn't really made herself a friend. And as you mentioned yourself, it seems like she's trying to get in your good graces again because she wants to get something out of it. She may not realize it but it seems that way. I would say if I were you I would just let it go. Give her the 5 minute summary of everything you've been up to but don't go any further than that. If she presses the matter of the wedding in a way that makes you think she's fishing for an invitation and doesn't take the hint, then you may need to clarify that you are trying to keep the wedding to your family and closest friends. She may say that she "deserves" that best friend title because of what happened with your ex but then again, that was probably a long time ago and she hasn't done anything even close friend worthy anytime recently.

          If you really truly miss her friendship and think you could have a chance at working things out(you know better than anyone how she would react to the confrontation about her being less than a friend when she needed you), I would wait until after the wedding because then you can focus on the friendship and not wondering what her agenda is, such as hoping for an invitation or a job lead.

          Also, don't feel bad about not inviting her, if things have been as weird in your relationship as you say, then it would probably be really awkward for you, her, and everyone else for her to be there.
          http://davf.daisypath.com/Pw5um7.png
          (Formerly "Future Mrs. Kt Ellis")

          I love being a wife!

          #15 ChristinaP

          ChristinaP
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            Posted 21 October 2009 - 11:27 PM

            It kind of sounds like you knew what you wanted to do with this "friend" before you searched for advice on the situation. Listen to your gut. I am sure there is a reason you decided to not invite her to this very important event- maybe because you want the people around you who love and appreciate you ALL the time, not just when it suits them.

            Good Luck!

            #16 SusieQ

            SusieQ
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              Posted 22 October 2009 - 06:42 AM

              Something I have learned over the years, sometimes relationships run out of steam. It doesn't need to end with a confrontation or bad feelings. These relationships are there for a reason, they served a purpose in your life and now something has happen or change has come about and either one or both of you are not feeling it anymore. My 2 cents is just let it go and don't feel bad about it.
              You're both moving in different directions.... Yours sounds very exciting and positive, focus on that.

              #17 jk1101

              jk1101
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                Posted 22 October 2009 - 08:44 AM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by ChristinaP
                It kind of sounds like you knew what you wanted to do with this "friend" before you searched for advice on the situation. Listen to your gut. I am sure there is a reason you decided to not invite her to this very important event- maybe because you want the people around you who love and appreciate you ALL the time, not just when it suits them.

                Good Luck!
                You're right - I did kind of know, but I like to get other opinions too. I haven't written back. In the field that I'm in, it's a very small world so we may run into each other and will definitely hear about each other in the future. I will never say a bad thing about her work wise, but the friendship is definitely over.




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