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Are you having a bridal shower? Is it proper to have one with a DW?

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#1 IrishgirlinNY

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    Posted 12 October 2009 - 12:39 AM

    Hi everyone

    I was just wondering what everyones feelings were on a bridal shower. I am probably having about 30-35 people at my wedding. I am not inviting extended family, only immediate family and close friends of the two of us. I didn't think it was right to have a bridal shower & ask people (extended family especially) to come to a bridal shower & bring a gift to a shower that they are not invited to the wedding for. I have heard both sides. Some people have said to not have one & some said still have one.

    What is everyone out there doing & what is your input....


    #2 melette

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      Posted 12 October 2009 - 01:29 PM

      My MOH's are throwing me a Bachelorette party and also a co-ed Bridal shower.. SO technically it's a Bride and Groom Shower. I sent my MOH's a list of our guests. So those who are invited to the wedding were only invited to my Bachelorette and Bridal Shower. It would have been bad etiquette to invite those who are not invited to our DW. IMO.... I hope this helps!!
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      #3 EDRBride2009

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        Posted 12 October 2009 - 01:53 PM

        I am having a bridal shower and stagette next weekend. All of the people invited are also invited to the wedding, with the exception of a few friends of my mom's, who she asked if she could invite. I was fine with that as they will be invited to the AHR.

        #4 Laura22610

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          Posted 12 October 2009 - 02:31 PM

          I am having a bridal shower...my sister, who is my MOH, insisted that I do :) I am also only inviting close friends and immediate family to the wedding, however I am having an AHR (a cocktail party), to which our other friends, coworkers, and other family (cousins, etc.) will be invited. I searched the forum and also the internet to see if there was "proper etiquette" as to who should be invited to a bridal shower when you are having a destination wedding. I found that if you are having a DW and an AHR, it is okay to invite those who are only invited to the AHR to the shower also even though they aren"t invited to the wedding. So, I will be having both friends and family who are invited to the wedding and those only invited to the AHR at my shower. Also, I am going to be asking the guests who are coming to Mexico with us not to give us wedding gifts, so it doesn't look like we are just trying to get gifts from our friends and family, especially when they are traveling so far for our wedding! Hope this helps!

          #5 *New* Mrs. G

          *New* Mrs. G
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            Posted 12 October 2009 - 05:29 PM

            Thanks for bringing this up. I'm facing the same dilemma right now with our DW. My MIL wants to throw me a shower (& host it too). Some of my friends are inquiring and I'd love to see others who can't go and have a good time. I'm leaning towards asking guests who are coming specifically NOT to bring a gift.

            I'm going to watch this thread and see what other members think.

            #6 Jess

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              Posted 12 October 2009 - 07:35 PM

              My aunt threw me a bridal shower - it is not something you throw yourself. Most people still do one with a destination wedding. The people who can't come love to come and give you gifts especially.

              #7 Melidell

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                Posted 12 October 2009 - 08:20 PM

                I don't know if anyone is planning one for me, but I hope not. I hope that doesn't sound potentially ungrateful- maybe I should clarify my feelings about it a bit. My family (who are mostly coming) live quite far away from me so they wouldn't be able to be involved. My MOH lives in the same place I do, so if she wants too it's up to her but some of the folks that attend wouldn't be going to the wedding so there's that issue. Also FI and I have lived together for years so we literally don't need any more stuff lol, I haven't even registered anywhere and we've told people no gifts. Finally, I feel so grateful all of the time that I'm able to have the wedding that I want, that everyone that really matters to me is so supportive of it and that life has given me so much- I don't need anything else (I know that sounds sappy, but it's true). My boss has been hinting around too about registering so I think she may be thinking of a shower, but when I mentioned maybe registering for a charity (for all of the reasons above) she told me it would be no fun for people However, these are just my feelings about my particular situation; I don't think there is anything wrong with showers and I don't think that you should feel like you can't or shouldn't have one just because you're having a DW. Everyone and every wedding is different so if you have one- enjoy it!
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                #8 lizzyl875

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                  Posted 12 October 2009 - 08:30 PM

                  I agree. I don't think it would be right to invite those to your shower when you're not planning to invite them to your wedding. I am in the same situation and will only be inviting those who I plan on inviting to my wedding. Hope this helps.

                  #9 britsytoll

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                    Posted 12 October 2009 - 08:52 PM

                    I have a fairly big guest list...we invited everyone we would have invited if we were having a home wedding. That way we felt whoever wanted to go could. With that being said, my MOH threw me a bridal shower and I invited about 35 women. All invited to the wedding but it gave some other women a chance to celebrate who could not come down to Mexico.

                    I think it is a personal thought if you want a bridal shower or not however I would not invite people who are not invited to the wedding. I feel like that is asking for gifts.

                    Good luck!

                    Bride & Groom + 41 Guests BOOKED~

                    #10 meldal101010

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                      Posted 13 October 2009 - 09:53 AM

                      My MOH & Bridesmaid live on the other side of the country so I didn't think i would be having a bridal shower, which was kind of a relief since i wasn't sure what the proper etiquette was for a DW bride....but my FI's mom is now throwing me one and i'm fine with it seeing as how its her planning it and iniviting everyone.

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