Posted 08 October 2009 - 11:15 AM
Posted 08 October 2009 - 11:34 AM
My FMIL was not supportive at first but now she accepted the idea that we are going to get married in Mexico, regardless.
Posted 08 October 2009 - 11:47 AM
Posted 08 October 2009 - 01:10 PM
But for your scenario specifically, I am sorry that you are having to deal with this. If your MIL does that again when you are 1-on-1, I would just say "This is what we have planned and we are really excited about it. I'm sorry that it's not up to your standards, but I know ____ (FI's name) is always willing to chat with you about it." I think that should make it pretty clear that you don't really want to go there and if she has issues, take them up with her son.
Just don't take it personally. Sometimes parents have a hard time shutting off the "control" so it sounds like she is just trying to passive-agressively bully you. Once she sees that you guys aren't willing to budge, hopefully she will be respectful and keep it to herself.
Posted 08 October 2009 - 01:17 PM
I just wanted to say hang in there! And you are doing the right thing by being the bigger person. Remember, your relationship with your FMIL will remain long after your wedding!!!
So try to let your FI handle it. Be gracious and listen. But don't budge! And this is a safe place to vent... so continue to come here to do so!
Posted 13 October 2009 - 01:49 PM
Anyway hang in there play cheerful and stupid with her and pretend nothing she says bothers you. Maybe then she will give in and be happy!
Posted 13 October 2009 - 02:08 PM
Posted 13 October 2009 - 02:23 PM
| Originally Posted by firstname.lastname@example.org |
Yesterday I was dress shopping and invited my mom and sister to come along. My fiance only has brothers, so I made the kind gesture and invited his mom, my soon to be mother-in-law, to part take in the mom-daughter wedding dress shopping experience. Let's just call her initial M.
So the whole time there and on the way back home M kept questioning our wedding decision. After I told her our reasons, she continually insisted that we have a local wedding, near home. She could not support our idea at all. To make things worse, when we went dress shopping M didn't have very nice things to say, didn't even know how to bit her tongue and persisted on wearing something more traditional at a chuch. I felt like no matter what I said, what points I made...she coudln't understand why my fiance and I had decided to do something so "strange" and so far away.
Fortunately, my immediate family has been supportive of our destination wedding idea...they completely understand that it's our special day.
Has anyone delt with in-laws this? or anyone close to you? How do you cope?
don't worry i'm having the same problem with my mother in law... she wants us to have this big italian wedding closer to home. we have dicided since our families live on two different sides of the country that we would do it in mexico. it also has meaning to us because that is where we met.
we've been just sticking to our guns about it.
he pretty much told his mom that it's our wedding and were going to do what we want and if she doesn't like it to bad.
i think your FI needs to talk to his mom about this since she is more likely to listen to him and he needs to make sure she understands and stop going on about having a local wedding...
i know it bothers you but try not to let it cause in the end it is your day not hers.
Posted 13 October 2009 - 03:02 PM
Posted 13 October 2009 - 03:10 PM
Sounds like you're already sure about your decision and able to put your foot down!! Good for you!
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