Posted 07 October 2009 - 05:22 PM
So the whole time there and on the way back home M kept questioning our wedding decision. After I told her our reasons, she continually insisted that we have a local wedding, near home. She could not support our idea at all. To make things worse, when we went dress shopping M didn't have very nice things to say, didn't even know how to bit her tongue and persisted on wearing something more traditional at a chuch. I felt like no matter what I said, what points I made...she coudln't understand why my fiance and I had decided to do something so "strange" and so far away.
Fortunately, my immediate family has been supportive of our destination wedding idea...they completely understand that it's our special day.
Has anyone delt with in-laws this? or anyone close to you? How do you cope?
Posted 07 October 2009 - 05:39 PM
You may need to take a stand on this, with your fiance, and just say, look, this is what we've decided to do, this is OUR dream, and we would appreciate you being supportive of that. We will not be changing our minds. PERIOD. lol, so long as she thinks she can sway you, she will continue to try.
I'm encountering the same thing with both our sets of parents, though not in regards to the wedding. We're planning to move overseas in the spring, for my fiance to do his PhD. Every time we see our parents we have to defend our decision to go. It's gotton better though, since we haven't wavered in our choice and have been on a united front, both taking responsibility for the decision.
Good luck. Regardless of how it plays out, this isn't about her. Remember that.
Posted 07 October 2009 - 06:47 PM
I agree that you & your FI should sit down with her and let her know that this is what you really want and that it's going to happen and that you'd appreciate her support or at least you'd appreciate her leaving her negative comments to herself.
If my mom heard my FMIL talking that way, I don't know what she would have done lol! I'm glad that your family is supportive! It'll all work out and it will be amazing
Posted 07 October 2009 - 07:46 PM
Hopefully M will also come around! Good Luck.
Posted 07 October 2009 - 08:15 PM
Posted 07 October 2009 - 09:43 PM
Don't let her get to you, you guys are going to have to tell her together that this is YOUR wedding and its what You guys want to do, and it really doesn't matter what anybody else wants. Good luck to you!! ((Hugs))
Ps - My mom would have LOST her mind if my FMIL said anything while we were dress shopping, but FMIL doesn't have the balls to say anything anyways
Posted 07 October 2009 - 10:28 PM
I try to think as a parent my son is 20 and if he was getting married how would I be. I think I'd still try to get my 2 cents in there and convince him to do things my way. I know it isn't right it is just an "I know better thing". I truely would support him in anything he wanted to do really and I know I'd get the look to shut up and I'd stop. I guess for some it is hard to give up that control of your children.
Final words; You're an adult and let them know, "thanks for the input but we're commited to this and it is our wedding.
Posted 08 October 2009 - 12:22 AM
Posted 08 October 2009 - 01:04 AM
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