Apparently I am doing a vent before my wedding :(

[kris]

This isn't even really a big deal, Im just bugged by it! I guess it's inevitable that you'll get upset before your wedding

 

So a bit of background story...my best friend (who is also one of my bridesmaids) has been dating this guy for a year and a half now. He is the man she is head over heals for , talking about marriage etc. I don't really like him and neither do our group of friends, he has always been rude and doesn't really make an effort to get to know anyone, you can always tell he's annoyed when we all hang out. So my FI and I (especially me) have made a HUGE effort to like him, always inviting him out, trying to make sure he has fun etc. just because I knwo he's going to be around for awhile and I dont want to lose my best friend over this guy! So anyways, he's known about our wedding for a year now and keeps talking about how excited he is etc. and this summer my friend calls me up and tells me he's buying himself and her dirtbikes (and an old truck) to get them around. (BTW this guy ALWAYS complains that he's broke!) So I'm like sweet (thinking in the back of my mind that he's totally going to ditch on our wedding) So time goes on, my gf pays her own and his deposit (And I find out she also paid for the dirtbikes etc on her credit card but that's not the point) and now he is saying he can't afford to go! This guy pays 300/mo rent and is a plumber....how can he not afford this? So now she loses her deposit and has to stay in a room by herself (which is more money) and she is going to whine the whole time were there about how much she misses him (like she did on our last vacation without him)

 

She is such a cool girl...why is she with this guy?!?!! URGHHH! Thanks for listening, I probably rambled on and on but I can't ever say anything to her so I needed to vent somewhere

[poohshek]

Kris, obviously you truly care about your best friend and I can certainly relate to your frustration. You are in a tough position and at times you probably wish you could spank or scream at your dear friend and put some sense into her.

 

We all see things differently. The best thing you can do is to take a "TIME OUT" if it is too much to bear before losing your sanity. Take a deep breath and walk away.

[Patti]

He sounds like somebody I know. Bad news. Hopefully, you GF will wake up soon and see what a loser he is. She's lucky to have a friend like you.

[YaelM]

The important thing is she will be there It may even be a blessing in disguise that he isnt there because she can focus her attention on being your bridesmaid and spending time with you!

[SusieQ]

Yeah friends sometimes challenge our sanity.... She'll be there because she loves you and yes she may whine... You just have to be the happy camper cause she is there

[rdhbride]

look on the bright side, she might find someone new on your wedding vaca and leave him:) what a great wedding gift!lol . i'm hoping that happens for my bff, my fiance and i secretly dislike her boyfriend and my fiance is really hoping he doesn't go.

[kris]

Quote:

Originally Posted by rdhbride look on the bright side, she might find someone new on your wedding vaca and leave him:) what a great wedding gift!lol . i'm hoping that happens for my bff, my fiance and i secretly dislike her boyfriend and my fiance is really hoping he doesn't go.

haha true!

Hopefully she is more fun (she usually is) without him. I don't even think that Im all that bugged he's not going. I'm just upset for her because it's really bothering her and all I can do is be supportive

[TAHOEJENI]

Can you talk to her about him? I'm getting ready to tell a good friend that she's making some stupid man choices. She was married for 15 years and her husband told her he was leaving 4th of July. She's terrified of being alone (other than their three kids) and is already seeing someone. From the outside, it looks way unhealthy.

[Vallarta_2009]

It's always easier to look at it from the other side... especially if your in a nice healthy relationship. It's unfortunate sooo many women are afraid of being alone and settle for the wrong guys over and over again... I suggest having a movie night and watching he's just not that into you!

[KRama]

Yuck, that's no fun. Don't you just wish that your attractive, intelligent friends could just fine attractive, intelligent men??

 

As for your friend, is there someone else that she may be able to invite to stay with her? I have a similar situation with my bridesmaid. Her husband is refusing to come, says it's a waste of money (WTF That's a whole new story...). She was concerned about paying extra and staying alone so I told her she could bring a friend, her cousin, her mom...whoever to take his place!