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My FMIL deliberately bought dress same color as bridesmaids!

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#21 KJT1985

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    Posted 05 October 2009 - 04:16 PM

    Originally Posted by michelle6114
    Isn't it common knowledge that you NOT go out of your way to match the wedding party?
    I am so annoyed by this. I don't know if she did it to pi$$ me off, or just honestly has no clue, but sheesh??
    I told her many times that the bridesmaid dresses were a sage green chiffon and silver sandals. When she asked me a while back what kind of dress she should get, I just said "no black" (trying to keep it tropical). well, my FMIL just informed me that she bought not one but TWO sage green dresses to bring so she can wear which one matches better. Um, hello? Isn't this a faux paux? I am going to bite my tounge but this really aggravates me. I am quite sure if she had showed up to her daughters $80,000 wedding (which fmil paid for) in a dress that matched the wedding party, her own daughter would have had a fit. But she is planning on rolling into my beach wedding (and contributing not one cent) with a matching dress? And I have to be the nice lady and not say anything?
    I think I will have a talk with the photgrapher beforehand so she is not in too many photos with us. WTF? And to top it off, my FI thinks this is hillarious!
    Actually....I've heard that the moms are suppose to TRY and match your colors. I think that might be an older generation thing though. My FMIL didn't say anything or buy a dress that matches our colors but my mom said she heard she was suppose to match - I told her not to worry about it since she couldn't find anything in my colors. Maybe she thinks its an etiquette thing and that she's supposed to? BUT with that said - she could have gotten a silver dress if your girls are wearing green. Then she wouldn't clash and it would be more obvious she's not IN the wedding. I dunno...this is the first i've heard they are intentionally not suppose to wear your colors

    #22 JT3

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      Posted 05 October 2009 - 04:52 PM

      LOL.... well breath it will all be ok.. Just remember you are the important one that day...

      #23 kate.com


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        Posted 05 October 2009 - 04:58 PM

        Wow. I don't think it is rude at all... in fact, she did you a favor. At least all of your pictures will look good. Now, if she would have chosen a color that clashed deliberately THAT would be a problem.

        Totally understand that weddings and ILs can be stressful at times... but please take my advice and pick your battles or you'll never survive!!!

        #24 kpuckrin

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          Posted 05 October 2009 - 05:24 PM

          I can see where you're coming from but in the end, I'm sure when you're in the moment, the color of her dress isn't going to matter. You're going to be so focused on enjoying your day and becoming a wife, that these small things (that may seem large now), will turn out to be relatively small bumps.

          Look on the bright side- at least she's not wearing white (that's what my stepmother had picked out for herself to wear to my wedding!). :)

          #25 damaris

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            Posted 05 October 2009 - 05:30 PM

            Don't let it bother you. Actually some of the weddings I've been to where the FMIL walks down the aisle with the groom she does wear the wedding colors. It's a minor thing and you shouldn't let it ruin the big picture, your wedding day
            65 BOOKED PLUS BRIDE & GROOM


            #26 lenka14

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              Posted 05 October 2009 - 05:34 PM

              I actually asked my mom and FMIL to stay in the same color family as my wedding colors. Since they will be in a lot of pictures, this way they won't clash with the wedding (and everyone will know who the important people are). In my experience, a lot of brides do that. Your FMIL probably thought that's what she was supposed to do, and picked that dress color to make you happy.

              Please don't stress yourself out about it....your wedding will be beautiful and all eyes will be on you anyway!!!!!!

              #27 kate.com


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                Posted 05 October 2009 - 05:59 PM

                Oh I almost forgot to tell you that my MIL wore the same color as my bridesmaids too... we joked and called her the 4th brides maid:)
                here is a picture of my inlaws at the wedding so you can get an idea of what it's like... I think it is beautiful, but biased:P
                Click the image to open in full size.
                And my mom wore a contrasting color... she looked gorgeous I might add:)
                Click the image to open in full size.

                #28 jajajaja

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                  Posted 05 October 2009 - 06:19 PM

                  Originally Posted by michelle6114
                  Wow I have to say I am shocked at some of these responses. I have never heard of a situation where fmil takes it upon herself to match the bridsmaids, It just simply isn't done. The bridal party is supposed to stand out in the photo.s Now the only one who will be "standing out" is my poor mother with no green dress.
                  On another note I remember a recent thread where the FMIL bought a dress the same color as the brides mother, and oh there was quite an uproar about that.
                  Personally I think this is more about the dress, I think she's trying to give me hints that she is /will always be the center of attention in her son's life and there is nothing I can do about it.
                  So why are you shocked that some people don't think it's that big of a deal? Did you post this thread with the intention to bash your MIL so you wanted everyone to agree it's rude, tacky and unheard of? Personally, I don't think it's that odd at all. Most people have their families in colors that coordinate with the weddings colors so family photos look more cohesive. She didn't buy the same dress, just the same color. I don't think it's that big of a deal at all.

                  However, it seems like you have personal issues with your MIL outside of this issue. So maybe it's not really a dress issue at all.....
                  Happily married since 2008

                  #29 bahiabride2010

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                    Posted 12 November 2009 - 11:30 PM

                    Wow...interesting and heated responses ladies! First off...I hope that you had a wonderful wedding day and can't wait to see the pictures. Secondly, I know that you try to have complimentry colours with you families but I haven't been to a single wedding where the exact colour was worn. My families definately will be complimentry but not matchy matchy. Finally, so what if Michelle wanted to bash her MIL, everyone needs to sometimes! I can relate to her frustrations! Let's all try to take a breath and relax a little...think about white sand beaches and turquoise ocean water! :)

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