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My FMIL deliberately bought dress same color as bridesmaids!

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28 replies to this topic

#11 diamondpooch

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    Posted 04 October 2009 - 05:22 PM

    Considering she bought TWO dresses in that color maybe she think she is supposed to match?? Innocent mistake

    Trust me my FMIL is making me crazy as well, so I get it.

    #12 SillyGirl

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      Posted 04 October 2009 - 06:59 PM

      I'm so glad you posted this, my mil would totally do this.
      now to nip it in the bud

      #13 Tam

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        Posted 04 October 2009 - 09:17 PM

        I see the others' points, but come on, why would she want to have the same colour dress as the BMs?
        It would be the same as a friend who's not in the wedding party buying the same colour dress and wearing it to the wedding....not really acceptable. Some "rules"/courtesy should just be followed. If she's as flighty as you think, then just chalk it up to ignorance and let it go.... you're so close to going away!!

        All that being said, just enjoy YOUR day and the FI. Have an awesome wedding and come back with lots of pics to post.

        #14 JulieG

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          Posted 04 October 2009 - 09:20 PM

          I really don't think its a big deal at all. My MIL thought she was supposed to get a dress that matched my wedding colours, but I told her my colours were pink and brown and she asked if she could get a different colour (not liking those colours) and I told her to get whatever she wanted. I really don't think its an issue.

          If it really upsets you, you really should have told her that you didn't want her to match the bridesmaids, I think she thinks she is supposed to match them. Can you tell her that you wanted the BM's to stand out and so you want only them to wear sage green and is it possible to get a dress in another colour?

          #15 amqueens

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            Posted 04 October 2009 - 09:28 PM

            Super annoying and obnoxious!
            - Anne-Marie

            #16 michelle6114

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              Posted 04 October 2009 - 11:09 PM

              Wow I have to say I am shocked at some of these responses. I have never heard of a situation where fmil takes it upon herself to match the bridsmaids, It just simply isn't done. The bridal party is supposed to stand out in the photo.s Now the only one who will be "standing out" is my poor mother with no green dress.
              On another note I remember a recent thread where the FMIL bought a dress the same color as the brides mother, and oh there was quite an uproar about that.
              Personally I think this is more about the dress, I think she's trying to give me hints that she is /will always be the center of attention in her son's life and there is nothing I can do about it.

              #17 Tam

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                Posted 04 October 2009 - 11:27 PM

                You make sure your Mom holds her head up high and looks fabulous... just not as fabulous as you. Enjoy your day ... don't forget the photographer is your friend!!

                #18 ~Jessica~

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                  Posted 05 October 2009 - 09:31 AM

                  I can see how this would totally make you upset, especially since it is so close to your wedding day!! And I know it is hard to not stress about it now, but I would say just try to make the best out of the situation. Maybe as a last minute "gift" you could go out and buy her a special dress for the day of and give it to her once you get to the hotel and try to make it a special gesture from your FI and you. Then if she doesn't wear it, she will look like an ungrateful you know what. Kill her with kindness, it always works and you will come out looking like the better person. :)

                  #19 jennierin

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                    Posted 05 October 2009 - 09:34 AM

                    You know your FMIL best so I figure if you think that she did this on purpose than that is the way it is. For me, it was easy because my Mom and I took my FMIL shopping for her dress and I was able to see what she was purchasing before hand.

                    I have a similar situation where a guest asked if it was okay for her to wear an orange dress and her hubby to wear an orange shirt as it would match our wedding colors (pink and orange). I came right out and told her that her husband could not wear the orange shirt as that is what the best man will be wearing...I don't really care but I didn't want people to think that he was part of the wedding party! KWIM?

                    Anyway, I think you should tell her that she should exchange the dress for another color, however, 5 days before your wedding, that might not be possible. Just breathe and remember that people will be looking at you and your husband to be...not the clueless MIL that is camouflaged in with the wedding party!!! AND I agree with Tam, your Mom is going to stand out more than the MIL, so tell her to WORK IT GIRL!

                    Congrats and have a GREAT wedding!!!!
                    First Kiss as a Mr & Mrs!!!

                    #20 rodent


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                      Posted 05 October 2009 - 03:37 PM

                      I've been to weddings where all the family matched the bridesmaids. The BMs wore pink & many of the family members had on pink, too. My SIL had the mom's wear black to match the BMs. It looked great in our family photos. Maybe she thought that you wanted her to match. If she is someone who would buy a certain color dress just to piss you off, then I'd just avoid giving in to her picking a fight. Anyone who would get pleasure out of pissing someone off with a dress color is looking to get a rise out of the other person. then it's better to just ignore it. If she isn't trying to piss you off, then she maybe just didn't know it mattered. When I look back at the pictures, the guests outfits don't matter to me. Some of the men wore shorts. Some of the ladies wore white dresses. All that I really care about is that we are all smiling & having a great time together.

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