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Bridesmaid Trouble!! What would you do??


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#1 cutedimplestee

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    Posted 30 September 2009 - 03:00 PM

    I have a bridesmaid who has decided to make the weekend of my wedding in Jamaica "Girls Weekend" for some of her friends. I talked to her last week and we were talking about her getting fitted for her dress. She proceeds to tell me that she has invited her friend Danielle to the wedding. I know Danielle but we aren't really close at all. But it gets better, Danielle invited her cousin and then she invites her best friend. So that's 3 additional people. Now this would all be fine if I were friends with all of these people but I'm not.

    I know I can't control people taking a trip to Jamaica but can't they have their Girls Weekend another time or am I being selfish? Should I just tell her to have her trip with her friends and not worry about being in the wedding? Or should I not even worry about it?

    Thanks for listening!!

    #2 *Nadine*

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      Posted 30 September 2009 - 03:09 PM

      What the heck?! Thats just weird. Have they booked this trip now? You dont have to invite them to the wedding.. they can still come and hang out with your friend and everyone but the actual wedding day will still be your wedding day and they wont be involved. At least thats what I would do. I wouldnt pay for three more guests that I wasnt even friends with, or that i didnt invite to the wedding. But I would be ok with other people coming and being at the resort since my wedding is only one day of the week.
      So I guess I would just tell my friend that thats great that her friends are going too but that they wont be coming to your wedding and that you still want her to be a big help and part of your day, since she is a bridesmaid.

      #3 KRama

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        Posted 30 September 2009 - 03:16 PM

        I agree with Nadine. Especially if this bridesmaid isn't particularly close with your friends and family, she may be more comfortable bringing along her own friends. But they should certainly NOT expect to be part of the wedding or any wedding related activities! It's kind of weird though that should wouldn't ask you about it first...

        #4 boscobel

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          Posted 30 September 2009 - 03:18 PM

          That's rude. I would just explain that you don't mind if she brings a friend, but that only her and her date (or whatever) will be invited to the wedding. Personally, for the vacation part, I think the more the merrier, but for your wedding, it should be only people you KNOW and care about and vice versa.

          #5 ~Stephanie~

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            Posted 30 September 2009 - 03:21 PM

            I have a similar situation, one of my bridesmaids (who is my cousin) has invited some of her friends to go to Mexico too. I guess I am more laid back about it, I don't mind them coming if it makes my cousin happy and she can enjoy her trip more, although its slightly annoying. However, I do not think that they should be invited to the wedding or at the very least the reception where the cost starts adding up for me, if it costs me more money that is where I have a problem.
            ~Stephanie

            Our wedding websitewww.mywedding.com/stephanieandmichaelbailey

            #6 cutedimplestee

            cutedimplestee
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              Posted 30 September 2009 - 03:23 PM

              Thanks ladies!! We have been friends for about 18 years so I really want her to be a part of the day. I will make it clear to her though that her friends are not invited to the wedding activities.

              #7 bride2b10

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                Posted 30 September 2009 - 03:41 PM

                I'm in agreement with everybody else. It's not just a random vacation for people to invite whoever they want to. It's your wedding and you should have only the people you want there. If you have been friends for so long then I'm sure she'll understand the situation.
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                #8 Lady_Di

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                  Posted 30 September 2009 - 03:44 PM

                  Yeah, let her know that her friends are welcome to hang out but they won't be invited to the wedding...

                  This is what I had to tell one of my bridesmaids after telling me that she wanted her brother, sister and their significant others to go. I told her that her siblings were welcome to join us for wedding since I practically spent my high school years with them but their significant others wouldn't be invited because I didn't know them. Now, she is only going with my other friend and i don't think her siblings are going. I hope I didn't sound like a btich but oh well.

                  #9 MayaLove

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                    Posted 30 September 2009 - 08:16 PM

                    I don't see an issue with it as long as it doesn't affect the wedding. But it sounds like she invited them to the actual wedding and not just Jamaica... If that's the case I would just tell her flat out that I don't know them well and I don't plan on inviting them or having them at my wedding. She'll get over it. :)
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                    #10 YaelM

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                      Posted 30 September 2009 - 08:25 PM

                      I personally think its pretty rude, especially since you kinda know them but they arent inviited. But like the other ladies said as long she (and they) know they arnt involved in the wedding activities then its ok. Hopefully on your wedding day she will be helping you and not just lounging around with them




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