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5 months to go and "no" dress....


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#1 KJT1985

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    Posted 18 September 2009 - 01:45 PM

    I'll try to make this short. I've probably tried on 200 dresses and found two that I really loved. One I couldn't buy because it was too expensive and the other was beautiful but just not the type of dress I wanted to wear on my wedding day. These are the only dresses I STILL think about. In March I bought two dresses on ebay. One had everything I said I wanted and the other was cheap and I planned on using it for my AHR dress. I got the dresses and I just wasn't that in love with my ceremony dress. I'm not in LOVE with the AHR dress but it's pretty and will be fine for a reception. This summer I began to regret my decision. To top it all off, I couldn't fit into either of them anymore. I sold my ceremony dress and have been trying desperately to sell the AHR dress (without taking a huge loss) so that I can get a dress I love.

    I know by this point I will not be able to order a dress and I'm ok with that. BUT my fiance is being pretty stubborn and says I have a dress already so I don't need to buy another one. I'm starting to worry that he will throw a fit and not let me get a new dress OR that if he does, I won't be able to find something I love and will have to settle due to time constraints. I'm really stressing out about this right now. The last thing I want is to get married in a dress I don't like. I want to look my best and be happy with how I look. I don't know what to do here.....

    #2 Jennybell1

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      Posted 18 September 2009 - 01:54 PM

      If you choose to get another dress, you still have time. Many of my girlfriends were in the same predicament and when they finally did find a dress, they got a rush order and it made it in time with a month to spare. This dress that you really want....how far out of your budget is it? Can you ki-bosh something else to allow movement in your budget to get the dress you want? I think you will have a problem finding a new dress only bc you seem so hung up on the other two. So if you really want that dress, I would either see if you can get it somewhere cheaper, get it made or try and find a knock off. You probably wont be really and truly happy until you have that dress. I really hope you can find the dress. Maybe you could post a picture of it on here....one of the ladies on here may have seen it somewhere else and possibly for a better price?
      I wish you luck and hope you find what your looking for. Bc we all know its about the dress...lol

      #3 KJT1985

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        Posted 18 September 2009 - 02:02 PM

        I think part of the problem is that I don't always KNOW that i'm really in love with it. I'm too afraid to make the commitment. It's always the "but what if there's something better that I'm missing" type thing going on. This is a problem. haha. The first dress was about $1200. I, personally, would be willing to spend $600 on it if I could find another bride who was selling it in my size. I'm also trying really hard to lose weight so i'm afraid of buying it and then it not fitting come time for the wedding. I probably being too optimistic but there's only so much you can take a dress in!

        The dress is "Lavina" by Maggie Sottero. I tried it on while shopping with one friend. My face turned red, I got REALLY giggly, couldn't stop smiling and just didn't want to take it off. Ever. Another reason I didn't buy it right then (aside from the cost) is that I hadn't gone dress shopping with my mom and I didn't want to buy a dress without having that experience (not necessarily her input though). I probably could have arranged a way to try it on without telling her I had seen it before but I just knew my fiance wouldn't go for it considering how much it is. I've found it a couple places, just not in my current size. I was with a whole group of people for the second dress and didn't want to commit with so many other people's opinions flying around. And like I said before, it just wasn't the look I was going for....

        #4 mswhatever

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          Posted 18 September 2009 - 02:03 PM

          Men do not understand why the dress is so important. I think you have time and will find one. Have you checked into a preowned or a rental? I have a friend who couldn't afford her dream dress, so she rented it!

          #5 islandbride317

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            Posted 18 September 2009 - 02:06 PM

            Talk to the salon where you might be ordering the DREAM DRESS from....they might tell you some good news after all!

            When I ordered my Sottero & Midgley, I was told that it would take 4 months for it to come in and about 1 month later, I had gotten a call that it had arrived at the salon and was ready for me to try on again, but this time, it was my actual dress and not the sample! So.....things can work out as far as the timing is concerned.

            Or, if you're not getting it from a salon, check out pre-owned wedding dress sites (there are some really good ones with mid-high end dresses like http://www.preownedweddingdresses.com/).

            And about your FI -- tell him that it will break your heart to wear anything less than your dream dress, and that you got the other dresses because you felt like you had no choice. If you can make him understand that you're not getting a different dress to be frivilous (men don't understand the actual emotional connection women have to clothing, particularly their WEDDING DRESS!), then maybe you will be able to get his support and approval.

            And, it's not a bad idea to remind him that any smart groom should know that he should do whatever is necessary for his bride not to be brokenhearted....it generally makes for a better wedding night for him in the end, if you know what I'm getting at!

            Good luck and I say go with your heart and get YOUR dress -- it's the most special dress you will ever wear in your life, and you should certainly have the one you love!

            P.S. I checked out your Lavina on the Maggie site -- it's a magnificent gown and I can totally understand why you are so smitten with it!

            #6 KJT1985

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              Posted 18 September 2009 - 02:25 PM

              Thanks guys. I keep watching ebay, craigslist and all the pre-owned dress websites I can find. We just moved to a new state a couple months ago and I haven't been to any of the shops here yet.

              His parents are having a pre-wedding reception for us in November and I was originally going to cut the AHR dress off to knee length for this. I think I'll still do it and then it's "oh, but I cut the dress off! I can't wear THAT in February!" Hahaha. And I need to start reminding him about how much $$$$$ he spends on his saltwater fish hobby. "REALLY dear?! $700 for something that just moves water?!" Hmm. His argument to that is that he can get a greater resell % for his stuff than I can a dress. IF I even sell it.

              Thanks for all the positive comments guys! You're making me feel better.

              #7 nsbride2010

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                Posted 18 September 2009 - 02:42 PM

                Its true... anything less than your dream dress will leave you brokenhearted. Check around for pre-owned, but when it comes down to it, if you buy it at 1200 and then sell it after the wedding for half price, you could recoup the cost and arrive at your desired price of $600 (approx.) Just a thought! That dress IS gorgeous :)
                Enjoying marital bliss since July 1st, 2010

                #8 blumenthale

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                  Posted 18 September 2009 - 04:09 PM

                  Try bravobride.com, and craigslist.org.

                  #9 shellk

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                    Posted 19 September 2009 - 05:46 AM

                    keep looking you will find one believe me.get another one without fi knowing hehe.i agree you want a dress to feel good on your day.there is one out there waiting for you.what is wrong with the other one that you like?if you like it whats the problem?why do you say it is,nt what you wanted?

                    #10 shellk

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                      Posted 19 September 2009 - 05:46 AM

                      keep looking you will find one believe me.get another one without fi knowing hehe.i agree you want a dress to feel good on your day.there is one out there waiting for you.what is wrong with the other one that you like?if you like it whats the problem?why do you say it is,nt what you wanted?




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