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My 2nd marriage, his 1st - wedding gifts?


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#1 Jennybell1

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    Posted 18 September 2009 - 12:31 PM

    Hi Ladies,

    So my question is what to do about wedding gifts? I was married in 1999 and separated in 2007 and divorced in 2008.

    Its just weird for me bc alot of the people that were at my first wedding in 1999 will be at my now second wedding. Its not their fault I ended my first marriage so I feel kinda wierd accepting gifts for my second wedding. Its like I shafted them or something?!

    Am I making this out to be more then it is? Would you be thinking this is you were invited to a second wedding?

    Thanks!

    #2 super19

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      Posted 18 September 2009 - 12:48 PM

      I'm in the same boat. He wants to register but I've been there and done that. I think we are going to register and tell people that coming to the DW is our present. For his side of the family, if they want to do gifts/showers then fine and they'll have options from the registry. I'll let the future MIL communicate where we are registered and the details rather then putting it on the website.

      I think you can handle it any way you would like but I feel better about just having people come to Mexico. I really don't need the gifts.

      Good luck!

      #3 Islandbride2b

      Islandbride2b
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        Posted 28 September 2009 - 05:31 PM

        Hi girls, my FI and I are in the same boat. It is a second marriage for both of us. That is why we are having a dw. When we told everyone, everyone was thrilled, and wanted to come.. so this is now why we have guests and why we have other things to think about! lol. We are ecstatic that they all want to attend, it warms our hearts and will make our day/week that much better.

        The advise that we were given was this:
        Just because you were married before doesn't matter. This is a new relationship. Everything that was done for the first weddings can be done for this one.. because you both are making a new commitment together.
        This doesn't make it any easier to want to register or to accept gifts but I was told or asked to just put it out there, if anyone wants to give a gift it is admittedly up to them.

        My FI and I are not interested in the gifts. We are just grateful that we have the support from our family and friends who are attending!

        Good luck!

        #4 Jennybell1

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          Posted 30 September 2009 - 03:46 PM

          I am not expecting anything bc we really have everything already. We both had our own houses before we got together so if anything we have more then what we need. Just didnt know what the etiquette on this was. I dont know if we should put something on the invites or just leave it to word of mouth that its not needed, but if they are going to do something, a card gift would be fine. As I dont want them lugging everything to Mexico.
          I just hope everyone goes with just being there is their gift to us.

          #5 Patti

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            Posted 30 September 2009 - 03:59 PM

            I've been told that it's not the way it used to be - and I can tell on this site that is true. I'm 56 and my FI is 60. We, for sure, don't need anything and do not plan to register for that very reason. I don't think you should feel uncomfortable about registering. Most people will be happy for you and will want to give you something, regardless.

            #6 *Nadine*

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              Posted 30 September 2009 - 04:03 PM

              I think all those same people that who were at your first wedding and now will be at your second wedding will just be absolutely thrilled for you and happy to share in your day again. I wouldnt think twice about going or giving a friend of mine a gift, even if I had given them one 10 years earlier. A gift is just that, a gift. And if people want to give you one, they will, no matter what.

              #7 thefuturemrslutz

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                Posted 30 September 2009 - 05:11 PM

                People can make their own decision about a gift...in fact, if you don't register, you will still receive gifts. It will be easier for everyone if you have a registry to choose from. Don't feel bad!!

                #8 SusieQ

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                  Posted 30 September 2009 - 06:29 PM

                  I know for myself and FI we do not want gifts at all, for the DW or the AHR "no gifts please". We have both been married before and we have an established home together. We both owned homes separately and just gone through the task of getting rid of all the seconds. I look at wedding gifts as things like dishes, blankets and towels for a couple begining their lives together. We have been there and done that....
                  Now I do have an idea that there is a Wedding Quilt being made for us and the people going to our wedding and contributing... That is a different kind of gift that I am very thrilled about. my 2cents

                  #9 Rebekah4005

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                    Posted 06 October 2009 - 10:59 PM

                    This will be a 2nd marriage for my myself and my fiance and we also have an established house together. We don't need anything and consider our friends and family coming to Mexico the biggest gift (and probably most expensive! LOL) that they could give us.

                    My question is this: do you not say anything about gifts, hope people don't spend their time and money getting you things, or is there a proper way to let people know this? I've seen that it's considered tacky to put ANYTHING, either way, about gifts on the invitations so how do you tell people that they don't need to buy you anything?

                    #10 TammyB

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                      Posted 07 October 2009 - 09:11 AM

                      ha ha, when I was getting married to my husband, it was my 2nd and his first marriage. My husband hates getting gifts from people, so we decided to just tell everyone that them being at the wedding was their gift to us. Of course we did get some family members that sent us cash but over all we didn't expect anything.




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