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michelle6114

Are your FI's parents contributing?

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We're in the same boat as most on here. My parents gave us $5000 for the wedding and my mom paid for over half the cost of my dress. My FI's parents haven't really said a word about whether they are giving us any money and we're not really planning on bringing it up. It's kind of tricky situation to bring up for a lot of people, some people would take serious offence to this no matter how well off they are.

 

I don't blame you for resenting them a bit, $60,000 on their daughters wedding is insane but was it really for her or just to impress their friends and relatives? They sound quite materialistic, please don't take offense to this, but bragging about how much you spend on things is very rude IMO.

 

Either way you guys are probably best not to expect anything from them and if something does come your way it'll be a pleasant surprise!

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Well my mom offered to pay for my dress and I told her no. Reason being they are on a fixed income. Besides I know she will have to help my brothers to get out to Mexico. My FMIL hasn't offered to pay for anything but quite frankly I feel we are asking too much already with a DW. So it's just FI and I paying

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My parents are divorced. My Dad has to pay for himself, my stepmom and my two little brothers to come to the DW. So I kinda feel bad about that. He did pay for my dress and some other little things here and there. (My stepmom doesn't know b/c she would flip....she's a bia)

 

My Mom and stepdad paid for the venue for the AHR. And little things here and there.

 

FI Mom offered to pay for DJ for AHR

 

Everything else we are paying for. Which honestly is fine with me b/c all of our families live "comfortably" but not real "well off" (never to spend $$$$ on ornaments) and they are all paying to come to the DW which if we didn't do a DW they would help out more.

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I was also wondering why my FIL's didn't offer to pay for anything. My FFIL just retired so I understand they don't have tons to spend but at the same time they spend like crazy on themselves, and I figure we are saving them money because they don't have to pick up the bar tab and the rehearsal dinner. But they have just complained about it all. I really wish they would offer their backyard up for an AHR my family can provide the food & booze if maybe they just have a tent there. Who knows I just wish they would at least offer support of the wedding and not be so negative censored.gif!! We probably wont be able to afford an AHR if they don't offer anything!

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In our case my mom is on a fixed income and struggling to save up the money just to attend. FI parents are split but both very well off. Neither has offered to pay for anything although FFIL has offered to pay for Fi's aunt/uncle/sis and her bf/and some random cousins i have only met once. It's kind of annoying because most of those that he's paying for probably wouldn't make the effort to attend if it weren't a free trip. And I just want to say " if you are offering free trips here Is a list of people we actually want there".

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My FI's parents initially didn't offer to pay for anything, and we didn't want to be rude to ask.  However, in the last month or so, they have offered to pay for FI's military mess dress and our flowers.  Some of your in-laws may end up surprising you.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by AshleyL View Post

 

In our case my mom is on a fixed income and struggling to save up the money just to attend. FI parents are split but both very well off. Neither has offered to pay for anything although FFIL has offered to pay for Fi's aunt/uncle/sis and her bf/and some random cousins i have only met once. It's kind of annoying because most of those that he's paying for probably wouldn't make the effort to attend if it weren't a free trip. And I just want to say " if you are offering free trips here Is a list of people we actually want there".

 

 

 

Update - FFIL has offered to help with wedding costs. He doesn't want to cut a cheque because he wants to collect the air miles from using his Visa. Yikes that means I have to run everything by him first. We have already disagreed on everything. (he thinks $300 for a photographer is a good budget). I'm really grateful he has offered to help but he has no idea what these things cost. He was married in someones living room 20 years ago. This might be a bit of an uphill battle...

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My FI parents wrote us a check for 5k when we started booking things about a year out. With out that money we probably wouldnt be able to afford the wedding currently because we just bought a house. We are using our new home owners 6k tax credit to pay for the rest.

 

We are hopping we can save up another 5k for the AHR after we get back by using our 2010 Tax returns/christmas bonuses.

 

My mom did give us her creditcard and let us put 2.5k on it for the photographer. The problem with weddings is everyone wants money upfront.

 

So...

 

That comes to 18.5 k ....At this point I kinda wish I could just have the cash and call it a day, skip the wedding.

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So glad I found this thread.  My father is extremely well off but extremely selfish and cheap!  He has a townhouse in the neighborhood I want to live in that he rents out so I plan on having him come up to visit me for the day so we can have a "talk".  My plan is to present him with three options:  He signs over the townhouse out right and I pay for the wedding myself, he lets me move in there and cover the mortgage and help with a flat amount or he doesn't let me move and he pays for EVERYTHING!!  LOL!

 

Just need to work on how I will present this to him... :)

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