Question, is it just the two of you or a family affair?

[MKRN]

I am really torn between it just being the two of us and making it a family and very close friends thing.

 

I love the idea of it between just the two of us, because it is so much more private and intimate. Also, it will be much cheaper. I don't think our families will be too happy if we leave them out of the big day, but on the other hand they aren't contributing much. In no shape of form do I think they are obligated, but at the same time the fiance and I in these current economic times can't really foot the bill either.

 

So what are you going, it is it a couples only thing or are you making it a family affair?

[AmyandRich]

I am inviting family - immediate family !! I am not paying for their trip though. I promised to not be the least bit offended if someone can't make it because of the costs. If you keep your guest list small, you may be able to take advantage of free wedding packages at some of the resorts.

[Moonrhea]

We're making it a family affair. I'm very close to my family sto I'm glad they will be there. However we're only paying for ourselves and my FI two boys.

[MKRN]

We would only invite immediate family and a couple of friends. This is the package we were looking into:

 

Excellence of Love Wedding Package

 

Services of the Judge (legal) or Minister (non-legal)

Wedding organization and personalization of our wedding coordinator

Preferential location of the room in the category reserved

Preparation and ironing of the wedding dress and grooms tuxedo/suit

Complimentary suite for the groom the night before the wedding (based on availability)

Use of the wedding gazebo or beach location

Bride’s bouquet

4 boutonnieres/corsages for bride, groom and witnesses

Wedding cake for 20 people

One bottle of sparkling wine

Special turn down service

15% discount on all spa treatments (product purchases not included)

Honeymoon Package

Late checkout for bride and groom (based on availability)

Special Silver Wedding Dinner (maximum of 20 people)

Natural floral centerpiece for dinner table

One hour Silver Cocktail with hors d’oeuvres for 20 people

24 full color photos (5x7)

Bride’s hairstyling for ceremony

Make-up application for the bride

[Destination Scout]

We did a very small friend's and family group. It was great to have the people that joined us. They really made it a wonderful experience. We didn't fund their trip though and we made it clear that we completely understood if someone couldn't make it. We had an AHR for those that couldn't come.

[SandalGirl]

We invited most of our friends and family, and ended up with almost 30 attending. Because of the cost, time of year, etc, lots couldn't come - which we anticipated We're having an an home BBQ/celebration when we get back.

[brandynd]

We're doing immediate family and members of the wedding party only. This way it will still be intimate and we'll have plenty of time with our guests!

[indy_chic]

Sigh............. I've been engaged for 6 months now !! I do not have a date , I do not have a venue. I'm very disappointed in friends/family

 

We've considered going away , just the 2 of us. But then thought it would be nice to have close family, friends. I feel guilty not having at least our parents there. I've also asked my bridesmaids to participate (already) and feel bad if I didn't invite them.

 

I've been between a destination wedding and a local wedding for the entire 6 months.

Not a day goes by that I don't commit to at least 2-3 hours /day (after working a full day) researching different ideas.

 

Although we'd like to have a wedding here, we'd rather put the cost of a wedding toward a new home and can't justify spending $30,000 on a wedding at this time in our lives. I know, I know , we'll probably get it back BUT what if we don't. Sooo we started looking at destination weddings. I was trying to find a resort that was "reasonable" in price but still had all the amenities to offer. I "introduced" the idea to close friends/family and some of them have expressed that due to finances they cannot attend should we decide to go away. These were the very same people that encouraged us to go away.

 

 

Everyone keeps saying "it's your day, do it your way" , of course I want all of our friends/family share in our day - I know I'm not going to please everyone I just never knew it would be hard.

 

So we're thinking again about doing something ALONE -without all the added stress.

[alkoch]

we are inviting 300 people to ours but expecting only a small amount to come. Our attitude is to invite everyone and if they can't come no biggie. Good luck!

[SSNM]

Quote:

Originally Posted by indy_chic Sigh............. I've been engaged for 6 months now !! I do not have a date , I do not have a venue. I'm very disappointed in friends/family We've considered going away , just the 2 of us. But then thought it would be nice to have close family, friends. I feel guilty not having at least our parents there. I've also asked my bridesmaids to participate (already) and feel bad if I didn't invite them. I've been between a destination wedding and a local wedding for the entire 6 months. Not a day goes by that I don't commit to at least 2-3 hours /day (after working a full day) researching different ideas. Although we'd like to have a wedding here, we'd rather put the cost of a wedding toward a new home and can't justify spending $30,000 on a wedding at this time in our lives. I know, I know , we'll probably get it back BUT what if we don't. Sooo we started looking at destination weddings. I was trying to find a resort that was "reasonable" in price but still had all the amenities to offer. I "introduced" the idea to close friends/family and some of them have expressed that due to finances they cannot attend should we decide to go away. These were the very same people that encouraged us to go away. Everyone keeps saying "it's your day, do it your way" , of course I want all of our friends/family share in our day - I know I'm not going to please everyone I just never knew it would be hard. So we're thinking again about doing something ALONE -without all the added stress.

I think we're twins. You are the first person who has successfully voiced everything I have felt in its entirety with respect to my wedding. I mean VERBATIM. I rattled all of the same stuff in my head and was told all of the same things. I have a really hard time justifying spending a huge amount of money on a wedding when there are so much more useful things that we could put our money towards (i.e. home, car, med school, business, etc). I want something low cost and an elopement would do it but I know it would crush our parents and even I want to share the day with a FEW of my closest family/friends. Just continue to give it some thought and eventually you will come to a decision you are comfortable with and will feel better about the sacrifices that come with it; whether it is you miss out on sharing your day with your family or you end up spending a little more to have them with you, these cons will be outweighed by the pros once your heart has settled on something.