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Requesting a "Pre RSVP"

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#1 allyson779

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  • 238 posts

    Posted 11 September 2009 - 06:11 PM

    We plan on inviting many people, but in reality I don't know how many will actually come. This is making the budgeting/planning process difficult.

    Do you think it is tacky or wrong to request a "Pre" RSVP through our website?
    (Or any other ideas on how to estimate)

    Thanks so much in advance.
    Bride & Groom plus 86 booked!!!

    #2 LadyTrunck

    • Sr. Member
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      Posted 11 September 2009 - 06:38 PM

      that is a really good idea/question. I've been wondering the same.... unfortunately, I think I'm going to have to rely on what people tell me via friendly calls or email. Even if they RSVP fully, I've been reading that so many people back out!!
      Married to my BEST FRIEND!
      July 7, 2010!!My Planning Thread: http://bestdestinati....ns-pics-60834/
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      #3 autjo

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      • 2,182 posts

        Posted 11 September 2009 - 07:04 PM

        Hi Allyson! Have you checked out the Dreams PV thread since your getting married there? A ton of great info over in that section :o)

        Here's how we handled the guest list...

        1. Did some incognito questioning to the people we really wanted there and those we knew would come then compiled our "must invite" list. This list also included our guess at who would be there.

        2. Sent 85 STDs to the "must invite" list and then my FI bugged the crap out of people we thought would go until they booked
        We plan on inviting many people, but in reality I don't know how many will actually come. This is making the budgeting/planning process difficult.

        Do you think it is tacky or wrong to request a "Pre" RSVP through our website?
        (Or any other ideas on how to estimate)

        Thanks so much in advance.

        #4 NyBeachBride

        • Jr. Member
        • 295 posts

          Posted 11 September 2009 - 07:17 PM

          because its like pulling teeth to get answers from people ...what i did was.....of course i asked around 1st but you cant always go by that because people are always down for a vacation but when it comes to the money they back out. we sent out the STDs early, a lil under a year in advance and put on it, Please informaly RSVP by *****, Please call ******** to RSVP. we gave them 2 1/2-3 months to RSVP for this. from the website i sent a RSVP reminder 2 weeks before the rsvp date was up....of course most, more than half the people never responded...we waited 2 weeks after the rsvp due date to start callign people. some didnt even do the research to see if they can afford it or whatever which got me annoyed because it says rsvp so why wouldnt u at least start thinkign about it....some said no, some said yes. some said maybe after they get their vacation schedule...etc....so on all the definite yes's and maybes i will send actual invites out.....thats y on the STD i didnt put "formal invite to follow". and im sooo glad i didnt because most peopel thought that was the invite anyways and my invites will be pricey and if they are def not going then i wont have to waste the money....Hope this helps

          #5 echo2_62

          • Sr. Member
          • 1,049 posts

            Posted 11 September 2009 - 07:19 PM

            Since I don't know how many people you're talking about this might not be an option for you but I can tell you that we talked to most of our guests over a few days and casually asked if they were considering coming with us, saying that our "travel agent" needed some approximate numbers to start getting our quotes together (we didn't actually book through a travel agent in the end, but didn't know that at the time!). We made sure they knew that of course it wasn't a final commitment by any means, simply a heads up for us. There were a few friends who did actually say that they likely wouldn't be able to come due to other commitments so it did help us narrow numbers a little bit, even though we're still sending invites to those same friends who weren't sure it would work.

            Another option would be to send out save-the-dates and you could include either directions to your website, or even a return card, with a "keep me informed!" option and a "sorry I'll miss out" option and include a note explaining why you'd like the return card.

            I think that friends and family will understand that you need to estimate numbers earlier for a destination wedding than you would for a home based wedding, simply because of the nature of a DW. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you!

            #6 jk1101

            • Sr. Member
            • 2,582 posts

              Posted 11 September 2009 - 09:39 PM

              This has been THE hardest thing for me. I see ladies who are getting married after me who already have people booked and I have nobody.

              I sent this out almost 2 months ago.

              Hi Everyone!

              At this stage we would love to hear who might be able to join us for our wedding at Grand Palladium Lady Hamilton Resort and Spa in Jamaica on April 10, 2010. Your response is not set in stone, but will help us along with our planning.

              We also have a block of 10 rooms held at the resort at a special discounted rate that you can book now though our travel agent Sally.

              Please call me if you have any questions.

              Michele & Jim

              I did get this idea from one of the other ladies on the forum, and I did get responses from some people telling me they weren't coming, which was a little depressing, but also some "not sure's.

              My invitations will be going out in the next 2 weeks, so I'm hoping for more concrete answers.

              Good luck!

              #7 dolfinluck

              • Sr. Member
              • 2,424 posts

                Posted 12 September 2009 - 11:20 AM

                On my STD i put similar information as JerseyKitten did and directed them to our website. Out of the 44 STD sent, about 9 ppl responded thru the website and about 6-8 ppl have told us in person what they are doing. hopefully when the real invites go out we get a better response.

                #8 KittenHeart

                • Sr. Member
                • 3,103 posts

                  Posted 12 September 2009 - 02:02 PM

                  I got verbal agreements before I sent my STD's then sent out STD's with RSVP info and every few months I email everyone nudging them to book or RSVP. I just order 3 different postcards from VistaPrint I designed. One with the RSVP by date, self addressed and stamped in an envelope so they can mark if they are coming and toss back in the mail or go to our website and let us know.

                  For those who have RSVP'd I've created a book by postcard and lastly a thank you to those who have booked reminding them they need a passport and to look for the official invite coming soon.

                  Getting people to RSVP/Book is like pulling teeth, keeps me up at night but I'm just gonna roll with it and not try and get too worked up over it.

                  Good luck!

                  #9 finzup

                  • Jr. Member
                  • 468 posts

                    Posted 12 September 2009 - 02:36 PM

                    we did a 'pre-rsvp' for the destination part only on our STD cards (it was the last page of our packet of 'boarding passes') .. it basically said,

                    In the coming months you will receive a formal invitation for both the Mexico wedding ceremony and the Rhode Island reception. For our planning purposes we would appreciate if you could let us know by Dec 1, 2009 if you are planning on attending the Mexico wedding ceremony

                    Adults_________ Children ________

                    We didn't put a yes/no.. basically only requested that people mail them back if they are planning on going...

                    I know it won't be 100% accurate but it will help...

                    Have you met Alice?

                    #10 hockeymom97

                    • Sr. Member
                    • 2,458 posts

                      Posted 12 September 2009 - 02:46 PM

                      Originally Posted by allyson779
                      We plan on inviting many people, but in reality I don't know how many will actually come. This is making the budgeting/planning process difficult.

                      Do you think it is tacky or wrong to request a "Pre" RSVP through our website?
                      (Or any other ideas on how to estimate)

                      Thanks so much in advance.
                      I think some of the other brides had some good suggestions, but no matter what you do, getting people to RSVP seems to be a common struggle. I know we asked for a "pre-RSVP" on our web site, but got NO responses. We've also tried just verbally asking people and we usually get a vague response and they say they have to figure out finances or vacation days, etc. I feel like people are waiting for an "official" invitation before booking or RSVP'ing. And even then I'm sure a lot of people are going to drag their feet. It's frustrating because 1) these were the same people who in the beginning were all for the DW and super excited about going and 2) it's just really difficult to plan anything. I have a feeling I'm going to be stuck doing a lot of things last minute because of not knowing how many guests we're going to end up having
                      Heather & Eric ~ May 5th, 2011 ~ Beaches Turks & Caicos

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