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The Ever Shrinking Guest List...It finally got to me!

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#21 SusieQ

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    Posted 14 September 2009 - 08:07 AM

    Yes as everyone has told you above, "Suck it up butter cup" , Kidding!!!!!!! you'll quickly forget who didn't make and focus on your day once your there. I have rehersed a speach I give to everyone that emails, calls or sends me "no's" through the grape vine (love those). "I am so sorry you can not make it to our wedding, Mark and I knew this going inot the planning of a DW, that everyone we love wouldn't be able to make it" We'll just have to party harder to make up for you not being there. Now can you babysit one of the dogs and shovel the driveway while were gone? Yeah I am ok with no now.... I don't take it personal... Good Luck and find your happy spot.

    #22 sunset78

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    • 1,280 posts

      Posted 14 September 2009 - 10:22 AM

      It's totally understandable to be upset. I sent out about 50 invites. Originally there was 22 people that said yes they'd go, and about 10 other that said maybe... in the end only 8 people are booked to come with us.

      One couple on Mark's said of the family yes they would come, but opted to book a cruise instead during that month. A few others decided to have an early vacation, and said they can't afford 2 trips in one year. A few said they don't have enough money, though I gave about 18 months notice. About 100 a month would have covered one person's around trip and one week at the resort.

      But oh, well. My parents, his parents, and his sister are the most important people, and they made sure they wouldn't miss this day for anything.

      We are not having an AHR either, though a few comments have been that we should have one since no one is going to the wedding.

      #23 FatCracker

      • Jr. Member
      • 192 posts

        Posted 14 September 2009 - 10:35 AM

        It's so hard to hear that us destination brides go through this. Sending giant Hugz!

        We didnt' want to invite anyone, but after they all told us they wanted to come we invited everyone. After all the research, invites and plenty of time....they are telling me 8 months in advance that they can't come. We only have 2 people booked, and it's not family! And my sister (MOH) of all people actually had the nerve to say "It's a waste of money"! She has been officialy Replaced!

        My FI has a new saying and it goes like this.....PEOPLE SUCK!

        At the end of the day it's you guys that will make the day perfect...and i'm sure it will be a beautiful and just as you imagined it!
        Keep your chin up!

        #24 josee

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        • 217 posts

          Posted 14 September 2009 - 02:20 PM

          Originally Posted by bholthof
          I completely know where you're coming from... I know everyone says don't worry, the people who make it there will really show how much they care, and that those that don't make it will mostly still wish they were able to go - but its not much comfort when you really want them to be able to go.
          Hang in there ... at least you know they would be there if they could, and that they aren't giving some bogus excuse to not attend.
          I completely agree with bholthof! Hang in there.

          #25 lil_reeves

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          • 237 posts

            Posted 14 September 2009 - 02:22 PM

            Wow...You guys are all so awesome and supportive. I truly can't believe some of the BS you have gone through in regards to your guests, especially when you're talking about family. Hearing about some of your situations has helped me to move on from this. I now truly appreciate everyone who is coming and I know our wedding is going to be amazing.

            Actually on a side note, my girlfriend who just bought a house, one of the ones I thought wasn't coming due to the another "friend" starting rumors, well she just called me yesterday and said she wouldn't miss our wedding for anything! That made my day

            #26 BachataBride

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              Posted 14 September 2009 - 02:32 PM

              Awh - that's awesome Jenn!! That must make you feel great!!

              #27 Billisa

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                Posted 14 September 2009 - 03:49 PM

                I'm glad you feel better...and your post made ME feel better too! I was JUST starting to feel rather down at work...logged on...read everyone's comments...PRESTO! Feeling gone.

                Thanks ladies. xx

                #28 Taylorbride

                • Jr. Member
                • 174 posts

                  Posted 14 September 2009 - 04:40 PM

                  I'm glad your friend is coming.

                  When we decided to do a DW I knew that most people wouldn't come. I for sure new that my Mom wouldn't come. (she has never been on a plane and she doesn't travel, they are homebodies) and honestly I was okay with it. Although I am really close to my Mom we just have that type of relationship. She's like "go do your thing and we'll party when you get back." I'm okay with it for now...but I am a little worried about how I'm ganna feel on my wedding day about not having my Mom there.

                  When we decided to do this I said that I could care less who is there as long as it's me, my Fi and of course my Daddy. I told FI that I would never ever get married without my Daddy. We only have about 15 people coming. Out of my 6 brothers and 2 sisters only my 1 sister is coming. (granted 1 brother and 1 sister wasn't invited)

                  Like I said I'm happy as long as me and FI and Daddy are there....everybody else I can live without.

                  FI Mom and Sister is coming so he's happy...everybody else he could care less.

                  (I know it sounds mean but we knew this when we decided to do a DW. I didn't even send out STD b/c I thought it was a waste of money. I knew who was coming and who wasn't.)

                  #29 amandalsu

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                  • 122 posts

                    Posted 14 September 2009 - 04:53 PM

                    We have had a huge jump in "probably won't make it" now that it is getting nearer. Many people are hurting from the economy or using that as an excuse. And one is due a month before the wedding. In order to keep the guest count up on his side of the family, we had to pay for FI's mother, sister, brother, niece, and nephew to go. Luckily I travel a lot for work so I was able to use miles for the airline tickets. That definitely skewed my wedding budget but the nephew is doing the video (he has gone to film school and has access to professional equipment and is very talented), the niece is managing the music (ipod), and the brother is the BM. We are putting several of them up in the villa with us and the others in a discount hotel. No all inclusives for us! They are on there own when the get there with the exception of the welcome dinner and wedding. It was a big expense but one we decided was worth it to have them spend it with us. I would have done the same for my family if they needed it. (Thank goodness they didn't)

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