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I may have to ask a friend not to come


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#11 Krista_H

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    Posted 08 September 2009 - 03:58 PM

    Wow that sounds very familiar. My friend said when she walks in to a room she knows she's going to insult 80% of the people in the room. To me that's unacceptible.

    I think you're in a better position because you're done with the friendship. I would just sit her down and explain to her by giving examples. Let her know that she should not have a say in who YOU invite to YOUR wedding and let her know that you think it's best for her and for others that she doesn't come.

    Easier said than done for sure.

    #12 SusieQ

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      Posted 08 September 2009 - 04:36 PM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by LadyTrunck
      We posted at the same time Susie Q! You beat me to it--- it sounds like your mind is defnitely made up-- and I don't blame you a BIT! What a rude, unhappy person she is. Your life will be better without her.
      Yeah, having my FI who would never ever say anything negative about anyone, Say "honey I don't want to hurt you but I really don't want her at our wedding". He said she is jealous and controling over me doesn't care about offended other people because it just means she gets more of my attention and time. Sadly he is right and I couldn't defend her for a second.

      My struggle is the confrontation and the knowledge that she will be nasty about it. I have no other choice, I have been feeling this pressure and stress from her for sometime.

      I know the hardest choices are the best choices in the long run. Good Luck

      Take care

      #13 t&kJanuary2010

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        Posted 08 September 2009 - 05:10 PM

        It is your day not her day! Simple as that...there are always going to be people that aren't best buds with the other. Just happens...but if she is a true friend she will suck up her personal feeling out of respect for you and your FI. Otherwise she should not be attending.

        #14 britsytoll

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          Posted 08 September 2009 - 05:16 PM

          GOOD LUCK SusieQ....You are definitely making the right decision even though it will be tough. A good friend would never put you in this position. Hope is goes well!
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          #15 damaris

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            Posted 08 September 2009 - 05:42 PM

            I'm in a very similar situation. One of my MOH's is very territorial and judgemental. Usually if we are at a gathering she attacks new people that she meets. Add to that the fact that she rubs my mom anfd FI the wrong way because she's judgemental.

            My solution was to sit down and talk to her. I explained that at my dress fitting all I needed was creative criticism from her. I asked her to tone down her attitude and be nice to the sales people (she's the type that treats people ie waiters, salesreps etc as if they're beneath her because of the job they perform) And I told her it's my wedding day and my guest. I would love for her to be there but I'd love more not to be stressed.
            Talk to her and explain your wishes, if she can't respect them she can gracefully RSVP not attending.
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            #16 SSNM

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              Posted 08 September 2009 - 06:34 PM

              Yeah, everyone took the words right out of my mouth. She sounds disrespectful and obnoxious. Let us know how it turned out though. And remember, there are a lot of us on here and we fully back you up on this!

              #17 SusieQ

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                Posted 10 September 2009 - 07:14 PM

                So I met her after work today for a drink, I was late about 15min. she was pissed at me because she was sitting alone.
                I walked onto the patio and her first words were " what thet hell was wrong with Jane (not her real name) this skinny "*itch and her friggin issues with the bathing suit? My friend Jane is very shy about bathing suits, I had a pool party Saturday nite with both friends there. Jane kept her wrap on unless she was in the pool and kept it close by otherwise. Next words out of her mouth(soon to be un invited) was "Stupid *itch is so uptight she make me sick, and I won't spend a week with her stupid issues. Ok now I am losing it. Oh and then she said to me, you need to get rid of people like that because their no fun, oh and who wants that at their wedding?
                I just take a breath and say maybe you shouldn't come if you have issues with the other people I have invited". "Pen Drop" Then soon to be not invited goes on to say this is suposed to be a wedding not a funeral. Oh Dear!!!!!!!

                So now I am telling her I can not deal with the stress of her being rude to other guest and her need for control it is mine and FI wedding. Ok I see tears now and she said i have to go to the bathroom.
                15 minutes has gone by, I am just about to get up and she sticks her head out to the patio and asked " do you want to sit inside it's getting cold. Ok Yeah Sure... 5 minutes pass and I see her and her car leaving the parking lot. Waitress come by with the bill.... ok who's laughing? I am actually!!!!!!
                "

                #18 Vikki

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                  Posted 10 September 2009 - 08:48 PM

                  Congratulations for surviving the confrontation. It sounds like she got the point. It's sad to lose a friend that has helped you through tough times but in this case it sounds like that friendship has been more harmful than helpful lately.

                  #19 SSNM

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                    Posted 11 September 2009 - 02:45 AM

                    Sometimes people are meant to be in our life only for a short period of time and then it is time for them to move on. I think this is time for her to move on, although she strikes me as kinda crazy...just watch yourself for the next little bit.

                    #20 bholthof

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                      Posted 11 September 2009 - 09:10 AM

                      Although its probably for the best - at least now she knows where you stand and what you won't put up with - I'm sorry for you. Its still got to be tough. Here's a hug for you

                      *hugs*

                      Now take a deep breath and smile :) Its all working out.
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