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SusieQ

I may have to ask a friend not to come

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Ok we're not high school girls anymore!!!

I have a gfriend that I am pretty close with and have been friends with for over 7 years. She was my first single friend after leaving a 15 year marriage. I really enjoy her company most of the time, however she is very jealous of other gfriends. She takes total dislike to anyone that spends time with me that she doesn't. She makes very rude comments about other friends, she makes rude comments about family members.

 

She told me that she doesn't want certian people to come to our wedding because she said she isn't sure that she can keep her mouth shut for a week about how much she dislikes some of my friends and my FI's SIL. She hates these people for no reason.

 

My FI has heard enough, he is such a trooper and doesn't say poop about anything. He told me last nite that maybe I should ask her not to come if she feels that she doesn't have enough respect for us to keep her mouth shut. I can not disagree and I am feeling sad because I think I have hit the end of the road with her.

 

I really don't need the stress of her behavior and worrying about her control issues.

Your thoughts!

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I think you should just be upfront and tell her. Just say look- I like you. I like our friendship. However, if you can't come to our wedding and be respectful to others, then I think you should maybe sit this one out.

 

You don't need drama. Period. And if she wants to get all confrontational with people during your WEDDING, then she isn't really that good of a friend.

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Remember this is your wedding with your guestlist. If she can't respect you and your FI enough to be on good behavior for a week and keep her mouth shut and just be nice to everyone, then it really isn't worth the hassle of having her there. You may want to talk to her about this and just be up front with her about how her behavior makes you feel and that it is unacceptable.

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I had a similar situation where a "friend" of mine (who is slowly becoming not a friend) has no filter and I didn't want to worry the whole week that she was going to offend my family or my FI's. I made it even harder on myself by inviting her sister (as my photog) and from what I hear she's not too happy about that.

 

Honestly it came down to I wanted to have a good time and not have to worry the whole week about people fighting, being offended or people not having a good time.

 

You and your FI need to be happy and have a stress-free time!!

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Also.. don't know if you thought of this but... even if she swears up and down that she CAN keep her mouth shut - can you count on her to be intoxicated and keep it shut? If its AI, the free-flowing alcohol might loosen her tongue when she would normally keep quiet in front of other people. And if she's a bad drunk that might escalate the behaviour.

 

I mean, you would hope that she could behave herself and be all in moderation and whatnot - but you know your friend best. And if you think she's going to cause trouble the whole week, maybe its best to count her out.

But its hard asking people not to come, especially if you care about them.

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Thanks Ladies

I have to figure out how I am going to do it, but I am no longer on the fence she cann't come... She would drink her face off and insult the hell out of certian people and I'd be babysitting her trying to keep the peace.

I am not good with confrontation, oh well I am not good with the stress of her either.

I also know she will probably not speak to me again.... Oh well.... This weekend sher really sealed her faith when she asked my FI why his brother married such a fat ugly cow. My FI said that the mother of my brother's children and walked away. So yeah I am not broken up just sad to say good bye. I was holding on to something from my past that helped me through a very difficult time.

 

Thanks Ladies

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What a tough situation. Honesty is really the best policy. This is your day, and I think you should be up front with this loud mouthed friend, and tell her how you feel. If you think she is going to be any burden, she should not be invited! Bholthof also had a great point-- if it's AI, and alcohol comes into the mix... could be trouble.

 

Good luck!!

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We posted at the same time Susie Q! You beat me to it--- it sounds like your mind is defnitely made up-- and I don't blame you a BIT! What a rude, unhappy person she is. Your life will be better without her.

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