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Stuck in Limbo


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#31 stacey

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    Posted 11 September 2009 - 07:26 PM

    Welcome to the forum!!
    Stacey & Ely 10.14.2008

    #32 Destination Scout

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      Posted 12 September 2009 - 10:44 AM

      OK, I pulled out my dream book "Colin Cowie's Extraordinary Weddings". There is a wedding in there at the Capri Palace Hotel on the island of Capri. It's absolutely gorgeous but probably not what you are looking for @ 350 euro's per couple in low season, but maybe it's possible to just have the event there. I don't know how large your guest list is, but I found this Villa Le Scale, Capri - Benvenuti nell'isola di Capri available for rent for the week or for an event.

      For a more affordable destination, what about Germany. An absolutely romantic country full of lush hillsides, vineyards and castles lies http://www.ngsprints...es/M/721173.jpg
      and a beautiful little mansion with 18 rooms and fantastic food as 60 Euros a night.
      Hotel Lauterbach am See (Putbus) - Hotel reviews, photos, rates - TripAdvisor

      #33 TammyWright

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      Posted 12 September 2009 - 11:19 AM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by hara_3d
      I think this kind of response is not constructive and highly offensive. Why do people feel the need to lecture and put people down, especially when all they have are assumptions and misconstrued "facts". Nowhere in my post did I ever call a country 'not classy', nor would I ever assume so. I really shouldn't validate this post with a response, but I know that there are people out there who will read one bad comment, relate to it, and ignore an entire post (which would give them the whole story and a more objective view of things) to jump into a post-war.

      yes you did. you said it in your first post here:

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by hara_3d
      My fiance has forbidden the following locations: Mexico (because it is too dangerous, and not classy enough), Brazil--where he is from--is not 'good' enough, nor is Jamaica or Cuba or Dominican. No Thailand, no India, etc...

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by hara_3d

      Well... after a year of weeding it out, I've found some potential locations:

      Spain is a maybe, Hawaii is a yes (if only I could get an all-inclusive white orchid wedding), some places in the Caribbean are okay, the Virgin Islands (so long as it is private, adult only and luxurious enough) is great, Greece and Italy are also okay.

      Problem?!?

      I would love a cliff side and all inclusive, which is hard enough to find on it's own, but he's ruling out a lot of all-inclusive locations and won't budge because of his strong opinions on having a destination wedding there. This is hard, because we both want class, but also want to save the cash. Money is especially an issue for us because a lot of people we know suffered from the economy and I have two couples who are dear to me that don't have much cash to spend, and I wouldn't want to make this event too costly for them. But at the same time, we have standards that we don't want to compromise on the biggest day of our lives (so far).

      Any advice?
      Hawaii doesn't have all-inclusive resorts. Some resorts have some meal type plans but not all-inclusive.

      The other places you mentioned are great but going to be expensive so if you are ok with alot of your guests NOT going because they cannot afford to go, then go for it.

      For our wedding, we chose cabo because we wanted to trip to be beautiful but also affordable AND convenient for our guests. Cabo is less than a 3 hr flight for us.

      It would be very selfish of us to choose a location that was out of their price range then complain if they could not go. We also knew that we could travel to more exotic, luxurious places on our own like for our honeymoon or anniversaries so there was no need to put that financial strain on our guests.

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by Malisa
      A) The first rule of the forum is to not argue with the moderators. Their job is to keep the forum a pleasant place and sometimes that means curbing your tongue. There are a lot of readers on the forum and what some people think are offensive, others will not. There job is to make sure everyone is comfortable and that means even the few that may not have your sense of sensitivity.
      Malisa is right. Ann did try to step in to see how your post could come across before you put your foot in your mouth any deeper. The majority of brides on here are having their wedding in Mexico, DR, Jamaica.

      Maybe this forum isn't "good enough" for you then.

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      #34 JenniferSS

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        Posted 12 September 2009 - 12:01 PM

        Sounds like you are thinking of Anse Chastenet !

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by eloping789
        Have you looked into St. Lucia? We almost chose a resort there that has an all-inclusive option that also seemed quite private (not a giant resort), but was on the side of a mountain basically that went right up to the beach. I don't remember the name of it off hand, but if you're interested PM me and I'll find it for you.

        Good luck!


        #35 JenniferSS

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          Posted 12 September 2009 - 12:17 PM

          Unfortunately you are going to be stuck in limbo till he comes around and is willing to compromise.

          It's expensive to have exotic, secluded and intimate plus all inclusive. You pay dearly for that experience.

          Is his version of classy - glass, brass and marble ? Understated but attentive service (ie white glove) such as a Four Seasons property ? Seclusion ? Classy and luxury are really is different for everyoneso you really need to define exactly what he is looking for.

          A few suggestions may be to check out Sandals Emerald Bay in Exuma, Bahamas - rates are starting at about $5000 for a week all inclusive with Butler service. Was a Four seasons. This may be a good compromise. The resort is not large but will be upscale.

          http://www.sandals.c...ald/em-home.cfm

          I would also suggest checking out villas as most will provide a cook and you would design your menu and pay for the food. Again, for an upscale villa with modern amenities and lots of space to have a wedding and have that exclusivity it'll be expensive.

          Good luck !

          #36 jajajaja

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            Posted 12 September 2009 - 12:25 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by hara_3d
            What issues, you ask?

            My fiance has forbidden the following locations: Mexico (because it is too dangerous, and not classy enough), Brazil--where he is from--is not 'good' enough, nor is Jamaica or Cuba or Dominican. No Thailand, no India, etc...

            This is hard, because we both want class, but also want to save the cash.....
            Quote:
            Originally Posted by hara_3d
            I do have to clarify that my fiance is not snobby or .....

            When you start calling places "not good enough" I think this might be the definition of snobby. Or if you are ok with vocalizing your snobby opinions without regard that someone may be doing something that you think is tacky, classless, etc- you probably are being snobby.


            Mexico is 'not good enough' because of the reputation he has heard, swine flu, terrorist attacks--I am sure all of you heard of the drug dealers killing those children and locals and it's just not a place that sounds safe (or classy in the context of OUR WEDDING). Just yesterday, he was able to compromise on Mexico, with
            Ouch!!!
            I think this kind of response is not constructive and highly offensive. Why do people feel the need to lecture and put people down, especially when all they have are assumptions and misconstrued "facts". Nowhere in my post did I ever call a country 'not classy', nor would I ever assume so.

            I never had any disinterest in Mexico, I am actually fully open, but my partner has other thoughts. His opinions are based on reputation and from many websites around the area we researched, which turned out tacky, barren, and simply not our style. I, being ever the optimist, still had high hopes that we could find a place somewhere, but he has gotten fed up with over a year of consistent disappointments through our research to form a mental ban on certain locations for our ceremony.

            Granted, my post was long, but that's why I had to condense information to spare any reader the details--which unfortunately did make my post sound rather awful, for which I posted an apologetic correction.

            It wasn't really an apology because you were still negative about those countries!

            Taste is a very personal thing, and not everyone agrees on something. That's the beauty of this forum: people with like tastes can offer you alternative options, while others can find things you would overlook or offer their objective perspective on things. This should be a positive environment, and I don't see any need to jump down someone's throat for example, because they may not like feathery dresses, while your dress is full of feathers.

            Please try to confirm your reading of something before you post some spiteful and undeservedly offensive remarks next time. It's not good to go around making enemies.
            Wow- I MQ'd you so you can reread your OWN posts. Yes, you did call certain countries "not classy" but then you further tried to protect that statement by using your fiance as the "voice of those opinions." I don't care who said it- you wrote it for us all to read.

            Maybe you thought you reworded yourself better in your "apology" post, but I didn't really see any clarification there. Did you not realize that a few of the first brides to comment on your thread said "what's good enough?" I have a feeling that they were to nice to point out how offensive your wording is.

            Normally, I would like to cut you some slack and assume that you didn't mean to be rude and classless, but after reading your response back to Ann I can only see that you really aren't that nice. She was trying to helpfully point out that a majority of the brides on this forum are Jamaica and Mexico brides. You really want to post here calling their countries not good enough for you or classless? Or is "tacky, barren and simply not your style" a better, less offensive description of those countries?

            My advice- don't join a forum asking advice from a majority that didn't take the time to find a place "classy or luxurious" enough. Would you ask someone with god awful hair where they got it done? Didn't think so...
            Happily married since 2008

            #37 dinogomez.com

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              Posted 12 September 2009 - 02:25 PM

              Welcome to the forum and congratulations!! You've come to the right place; here you can find all the info you need for a fun, smooth and successful planning!! Enjoy!!!

              #38 LCBride2007

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                Posted 13 September 2009 - 09:23 AM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by hara_3d
                Ouch!!!

                I will try to keep my head as I respond, but, seriously, where did that come from?

                I think this kind of response is not constructive and highly offensive. Why do people feel the need to lecture and put people down, especially when all they have are assumptions and misconstrued "facts". Nowhere in my post did I ever call a country 'not classy', nor would I ever assume so. I really shouldn't validate this post with a response, but I know that there are people out there who will read one bad comment, relate to it, and ignore an entire post (which would give them the whole story and a more objective view of things) to jump into a post-war.

                I never had any disinterest in Mexico, I am actually fully open, but my partner has other thoughts. His opinions are based on reputation and from many websites around the area we researched, which turned out tacky, barren, and simply not our style. I, being ever the optimist, still had high hopes that we could find a place somewhere, but he has gotten fed up with over a year of consistent disappointments through our research to form a mental ban on certain locations for our ceremony. Granted, my post was long, but that's why I had to condense information to spare any reader the details--which unfortunately did make my post sound rather awful, for which I posted an apologetic correction.

                I hope people take the time to read the corrections or understand the ironic truth that sometimes, words come out one way and can be interpreted an entirely negative and unintentionally bad way.

                People are allowed to have their opinions. Some people would get married in Florida, and others wouldn't. Some people would live somewhere, and other's wouldn't. Even itsfinallyhere wrote .

                Taste is a very personal thing, and not everyone agrees on something. That's the beauty of this forum: people with like tastes can offer you alternative options, while others can find things you would overlook or offer their objective perspective on things. This should be a positive environment, and I don't see any need to jump down someone's throat for example, because they may not like feathery dresses, while your dress is full of feathers.

                Please try to confirm your reading of something before you post some spiteful and undeservedly offensive remarks next time. It's not good to go around making enemies. By the way, I've been to Las Caletas before, and yes, I do think it is beautiful. Keep in mind that if you would have worded your comment differently, my response would have been much more positive.
                I was going to write a much longer post, but I see most of my points have already been made by others.

                How is my post "highly offensive" when I was stating my opinion on calling an entire country "not classy" (yes, your exact words, not mine) whereas somehow yours wasn't offensive? Interesting.

                You said you posted an "apologetic correction" - I must have missed that, because I read the entire thread and it seems that you are pretty clear on where you and your partner stand. And honestly, that's fine, as you said everyone is entitled to their opinion. My post was letting you know that you likely offended a lot of people on this forum by calling their wedding location classless.

                And I think my understanding of what you wrote was quite clear, no need to "confirm my reading." You and your partner think certain countries aren't classy enough for your wedding. Correct? Not sure what you considered "spiteful" and "offensive" in my post, but I can assure you that wasn't the intent.

                I also disagree with your comment that I "lectured" and "put you down" - did I tell you anywhere how you should feel, what you should think, or what you should do? Did I even go so far as to say you were wrong? Nope, can't see where I did. I was simply stating an opinion ... my opinion. However, comments like "Please try to confirm your reading of something before you post some spiteful and undeservedly offensive remarks next time. It's not good to go around making enemies." reeks of a lecture if you ask me. I can just picture you shaking your finger at me like my grandma would.

                Good luck in your search, I think you'll need it!

                #39 LindsayE

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                  Posted 21 September 2009 - 09:20 AM

                  Congrats !! And happy planning :)

                  #40 Mishka Designs

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                    Posted 26 September 2009 - 02:49 AM

                    Felicidades and welcome to the forum!! That's sad how you feel about Mexico - FYI Puerto Vallarta didn't have any reported cases of swine flu .... and a couple of year's ago we hosted a film festival where Carolina Herrera, JC Reilly, Angelica Huston, Mana, Diego Luna, the director of Babel which starred Brad Pitt - just to name a few of the stars that were there - so we might not rank up there with Paris, but we certainly aren't down there in the list of "terrorist" cities. :)




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