Stuck in Limbo
Posted 06 September 2009 - 08:21 PM
I am not sure if I can properly fill out the fields required for this thread, like date and location. See... I joined because I need help.
I have no clue when my wedding date is; My fiance and I have been engaged for well over a year now, and we've been busy trying to sort out so many other details that our wedding planning got pushed into a side-priority. But now that we've got a lot accomplished, we are ready to start making wedding priority no. 1.
I want a destination wedding. My fiance just wants to marry me anytime, anywhere--he even compromised his dream catholic church wedding to accommodate my cliff side destination dream wedding. The problem is, wherever we look, there are issues.
What issues, you ask?
My fiance has forbidden the following locations: Mexico (because it is too dangerous, and not classy enough), Brazil--where he is from--is not 'good' enough, nor is Jamaica or Cuba or Dominican. No Thailand, no India, etc...
Well... after a year of weeding it out, I've found some potential locations:
Spain is a maybe, Hawaii is a yes (if only I could get an all-inclusive white orchid wedding), some places in the Caribbean are okay, the Virgin Islands (so long as it is private, adult only and luxurious enough) is great, Greece and Italy are also okay.
I would love a cliff side and all inclusive, which is hard enough to find on it's own, but he's ruling out a lot of all-inclusive locations and won't budge because of his strong opinions on having a destination wedding there. This is hard, because we both want class, but also want to save the cash. Money is especially an issue for us because a lot of people we know suffered from the economy and I have two couples who are dear to me that don't have much cash to spend, and I wouldn't want to make this event too costly for them. But at the same time, we have standards that we don't want to compromise on the biggest day of our lives (so far).
Posted 06 September 2009 - 11:40 PM
Finding the perfect destination is really hard- you want to please each other but also want to try to please everyone else that you're inviting too. I don't have much advice, but I totally sympathize! The only thing you can do, I guess, is take your time, do your research and hopefully you'll find somewhere that you both love. You both may have to compromise a bit, but I'm sure you can find somewhere that makes you both happy- the world is a big place, after all.
Posted 06 September 2009 - 11:51 PM
What is "good enough" for him? St. Maarten, Turks & Caicos, Bahamas?? The Caves in Negril, JA is an All-Inclusive on the cliffs, and was voted the #1 most romantic place in the carribbean, but it is sort of pricey... I guess if he is holding up your decision making, then you need to ask him, "What is good enough?"
Good Luck, I hope BDW is able to help you.
Posted 07 September 2009 - 12:00 AM
Wow....you're up against a tall order on what he'll see as "good enough" -- hang in there! There is help out there though, and you've come to the right place to find it.
You're gonna LOVE being a part of this amazing forum!!!
My best advice as you start down the road to your wedding day would be just to take your time and do lots of research before you book or buy anything (resort, attire, flowers, you name it!) and make sure it's all that YOU, as well as your fiance, envisioned for your BIG DAY!
And that's where this phenomenal site comes in: BDW has proven to be invaluable in my planning, and it's comforting to know that there are other brides and grooms out there experiencing the same highs and lows during their planning process -- a friend is always just on the other side of your computer screen!
CONGRATULATIONS and Welcome to BDW...it's a wedding-planning heaven
Posted 07 September 2009 - 01:41 AM
Posted 07 September 2009 - 07:30 AM
Posted 07 September 2009 - 09:30 AM
Posted 07 September 2009 - 10:24 AM
Italy is actually where we first wanted to have our wedding, but we decided against it because of the cost.
Ireland would be wonderful... the cliffs there are quite breathtaking, however, the rain and cold would likely ruin it for us, and our guests would not appreciate paying that amount of money to go to Ireland, when they could pay for a vacation and get all-inclusive service. I understand that it is hard to meet everyone's expectations, but I believe that we can find something beautiful, classy and affordable for everyone (including us)... I just haven't been lucky in my search so far.
BY THE WAY....
I do have to clarify that my fiance is not snobby or controlling. I feel awful because I think I did not put my words together properly, in an attempt to condense the information.
He is incredibly sweet, but he has standards he won't compromise against, as I am sure all of us do, too. For example, if my mother wanted me to get married in her backyard with a dress made out of curtains and only her friends would attend, then I would have to put my foot down and say 'no' that is not an area of compromise when it comes to our big day, because, regardless, it has to be special and speak of US.
I think he wants a classy, James Bond-esque wedding.
I want a beautiful, cliff side (or even beach side, if the cliffs are not possible) wedding with lots of dancing and fun for everyone involved, and I think the both worlds can easily meet. Classy and beautiful are compatible, are they not?!?
We both want it intimate, and both don't want onlookers interrupting our festivities. It is a very private engagement and we want to keep it 'in the family' so to speak. We agree a lot on the vision, but unfortunately, not all locations offer all inclusive, and I am wondering what places are left that I may have overlooked.
Mexico is 'not good enough' because of the reputation he has heard, swine flu, terrorist attacks--I am sure all of you heard of the drug dealers killing those children and locals and it's just not a place that sounds safe (or classy in the context of OUR WEDDING). Just yesterday, he was able to compromise on Mexico, with ESPERANZA - An Auberge Resort, unfortunately the cost is out of our budget.
I was not complaining about my fiance, I was just hoping I could get advice on some places that I have overlooked that capture the classy/beauty/intimate package, for a price that is reasonable for us and our guests.
Sorry for the miscommunication on my part.
Posted 07 September 2009 - 10:29 AM
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