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Bach party dilemma

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#1 Lady_Di

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    Posted 01 September 2009 - 05:35 PM

    Hi ladies! I have two dilemmas to deal with.

    I have two MOHs and 5 bridesmaids.

    By tradition, the MOH throw the bach party, right?

    One of my bridesmaids wants to throw me one as well and invite our sorority sisters only. Not all of my bridal party are my sorority sisters, just three of them. Most of my friends are my sorority sisters. It would look odd if I had TWO bach parties and most of my friends are my sorority sisters. I don't want my MOHs to get upset that my sorority sister is throwing me one. I don't want to say no to her but don't want to make my MOHs upset.

    Another issue is that she wants to invite other sorority sisters who are not invited to my wedding. One of my sorority bridesmaids thinks it's tacky to invite sorority sisters who are not invited to the bach party. What is the proper etiquette for this?

    If she only invites the sisters I invited to the wedding then they wouldn't probably want to go to my MOH's bach party. I only have maybe 5 non-sorority friends. I am not sure if my sorority bridesmaids would go to her bach party again if they already went to my "sorority" bach party.

    Maybe a small low key bachelorette party wouldn't be a big deal? My sister is one of MOHs and she is not 21 yet so maybe she can be included. I just don't know how my MOH friend would take it if i'm having a "better" party thrown by my sorority bridesmaid.

    Any ideas how I can handle this?

    sorry if this is too long!!

    thanks ladies!

    #2 J&MWedding

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      Posted 01 September 2009 - 05:56 PM

      Well, I'm sure there are tons of options out there that other brides will post as well, but, I have a few suggestions.
      First, you could have your sorority sister call the party something different - instead of having it be your "Bach Party", just have a girls night, not sure if this will work, but it's a thought.
      This year alone I've been in many weddings and been a part of the planning process for the bridal shower and bach party, and everyone knows that it is the MOH's responsibility to plan the bach party and I think most people know not to step on her toes - I think your sorority friend would understand your concern for not hurting your MOH's feelings.
      Have you talked to her yet about some of your concerns? I think there is a way to be considerate and still appreciative and just ask your sorority sister what she thinks about this.

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      #3 Islandbride2b

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        Posted 01 September 2009 - 06:30 PM

        two bach parties is not a big deal, enjoy both. Everyone has diff groups of friends. Think of how many diff showers people have for others. a work shower, a family shower, just a friends shower.. some just think its easier and more pleasent to have different people involved. I say enjoy. They want to do something great and fun for you!! Good luck.

        #4 Ginalyn

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          Posted 01 September 2009 - 07:57 PM

          Hmmm, my opinion I think you should just stay under the radar and let your MOH and BMs figure out what they want to do for you. It think there would be less drama that way. If you end up having two parties then great, if not, you'll still get a bach party no matter what!

          #5 Yari

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            Posted 01 September 2009 - 08:08 PM

            This is tricky.

            I say talk to your MOH and tell her what the other BM is planning on doing and have them work it out. I think one official bach party would be awesome.

            Now for party #2, don't call it a bach party. It can be a happy hour, take you out to dinner, party hard sorority pre-wedding celebration then you could invite only your sorority sisters and girls not invited to the wedding.

            #6 KLC77

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              Posted 01 September 2009 - 08:10 PM

              I think you should have your BM talk to your MOH directly since its the moh's responsibility to throw the bach party. Then maybe they can get on the same page and do something jointly or atleast your moh can give the ok for the sorority only party. I know if I was the moh I would welcome help and ideas from the other members of the wedding party. If you only have a handful of friends outside the sorority it might seem silly to have two parties. jmo

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              #7 ~Debra~

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                Posted 01 September 2009 - 11:53 PM

                I have to say every wedding I have been apart of, the entire wedding party helped plan the bach. party for the bride but I agree that the MOH and the BM should talk and you should kind of stay out of it. If they decide to have 2 parties for you, great. I also have to say, I understand that you have your sorority sisters but if I was the MOH in a wedding and I wasn't invited to attend the 2nd bach. party simply because I wasn't your sorority sister I would be a little upset.

                #8 Lady_Di

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                  Posted 02 September 2009 - 10:01 AM

                  Thank you ladies for your helpful opinions.

                  I really don't want any drama and I have enough stuff to worry about with my FI. I will talk to my BM about it and suggest that it is only a dinner or something so my MOH can throw the official party and it's her duty anyway. I hope I won't get any grief from my BM!

                  #9 TamaraDan

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                    Posted 02 September 2009 - 08:13 PM

                    Good luck with talking to your BM. Hopefully she will understand.

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